Captain Heart
by Clue Impaired
Summary: Cragens Lady! Captain Dad. Chapter 20.
1. Chapter 1

**Captain Heart**

The little girl was terrified. That much was obvious. So afraid in fact that she refused to even look up at anyone who approached her. Even Olivia was unable to get through to her. She just curled up in a ball on the bench of the Special Victims Unit bench and stayed there. She didn't respond to words, food, drink, or enticements of any kind and touching sent her into such spasms of fear and terror that they just left her alone and called an ambulance. She couldn't have been more than six or seven years old.

Don Cragen was keeping a close eye on her. His phone rang and he picked it up. Someone had reported a girl missing and the description fit this little girl as close as they could tell. The woman was on the way up with a civilian escort.

Elliott Stabler was the detective who'd drawn the case. The girl was the only one who'd seen the incident and she was completely shut down emotionally. He was frustrated. The only one who could give them a description of someone who could be getting away or going after someone else was sitting just feet from him and too terrified to even look up.

"Elliott, help is coming. They think they've located someone who can get through to this girl. She's on the way upstairs now."

"Good. We need to catch that prick." He said relieved.

Don Cragen noticed the tightening of the girls body when Elliott spoke. So she could hear but not respond. Or wouldn't respond. The elevator doors opened with a ding and a civilian man escorted a woman into the squad room. The woman word a T-Shirt with horses running across it, jeans and cowboy boots. She looked like she spent a lot of time outdoors. She strode into the room like she'd come to take on the world. Self confident and capable.

She looked over at the girl and seemed to relax a bit. She spotted Cragen and came over to him, extending her hand. "You must be Captain Cragen. My name's Karen. I see you found Katie. Thank you."

"You do know her then?"

"I do. Katie lives with me and several other kids at my place. What's going on may I ask?"

"Step into my office, please. Stabler, in here."

"Please." The woman asked.

Don glanced in surprise at her. "Please." He added.

Cragen stepped around to stand beside his desk. "Have a seat please, Ms."

"No, Ms. My name's Karen Wesson. I run a foster care home for troubled children. Katie is one of my girls. She got away from her partner at the department store and wandered away. We've been looking for her for three hours. I'm wondering how you found her and brought her here."

Cragen looked at his detective who picked up the ball. "She was found at the scene of a rape and murder hiding in a pile of boxes. We think she saw who did it and we need her to tell us what she saw."

"And you are?" the woman asked.

"Detective Elliott Stabler."

The woman cocked her head for a minute studying at him then nodded as if satisfied about something. "I'm guessing you're the one who first tried to talk to her?"

"Yes."

Karen nodded. "I can't guarantee that we can get anything out of her, but we can try. Do you have a room we can talk to her in private?"

"We have an interview room with toys…."

"Too many distractions. Some place simple but not austere would be good."

"We'll use room four. It has windows for light."

"Good choice." Karen went back out to the bench. Katie had not moved. Karen crouched by her and ran the top of one finger up the little girls bare shin. She lifted her head fearfully, saw Karen and launched herself at the woman. Karen barely stood up in time to catch the little girl who slammed against her. If Elliott hadn't been behind her to catch her, she would have slammed against the desk, painfully.

Katie wrapped both legs and both arms around Karen and buried her face against her neck. She was making noises similar to speech. The girl was impossibly long legged and Karen had to brace herself with the weight. "Okay, sweetie, it's okay. I have you. You're safe. It's okay. Let me breathe, sweetie. Relax, I have you. Lead the way, please." She told Elliott. "Air, honey, I need air."

With the girl attached to her like an oversized monkey, Karen carried her to the room Elliott opened up. Karen held her hands wide for a moment so Elliott could see that she wasn't holding onto her at all then put her arms back around Katie. Elliott pulled out a chair for the woman who sat down gratefully.

He shut the door and sat down. "Can you talk to her?"

"In a minute. Let me make eye contact first." She tried to pull the girls arms down, but she kept putting them back up. "Katie, stop that. Talk to me." The girl made a gesture with her hand and grasped her again. "Do not tell me to shut up. You know better than that!"

"She's deaf?"

"No, stubborn, scared, ornery, but not deaf. Sit up here and talk to me." She pried the girl off her front and made her look at her. "I'm here and you're safe. Do you understand that?"

Katie nodded reluctantly.

"Can we have another chair?" Karen asked.

Elliott slid his around to her and went outside to get another one. When he came back, Karen had gotten Katie to sit on her own chair but she was curled up in a defensive position but her face was at least visible. She had some scars on it from what appeared to be knife wounds. Katie cast a glance at him and turned away from him toward the window without losing track of Karen or moving off the chair at all.

"How do you communicate with her?"

"Katie can hear just fine when she wants to, but she uses American Sign Language to talk back. And she will talk back." It was a command to the girl.

"I need to know what she saw in that alley." Elliott said.

Katie made some furious gestures, emphatic and wildly. "She says she didn't see anything and you should leave her alone." Karen translated.

"I can't leave her alone. Someone died a horrible death in that alley and I think she saw it. I need to know what she knows." Elliott insisted.

Katie made more emphatic gestures. She was busy with her fingers so fast that Elliott wasn't sure which sign was which.

"Slow down. You're repeating yourself. Katie, stop. I'm not going to look if you don't stop that."

"What's she saying?" 

"Just a minute, sweetie. If you don't let me get a word in edgewise, he can't ask questions. Oh, I don't think so. I will not repeat that and neither will you."

Karen caught Katies hands. Katie slapped Karen and Karen slapped her back. That caused Katie to stiffen in shock and start to tear up.

"Don't do that!" Elliott barked at the woman.

At his shout, Katie leaped off the chair and ran off to the corner of the room, cowering in it. This was impossible! The girl was either terrified or belligerent by turns and he was no closer to finding out what he needed than he was before.

Karen sighed and gave him a long suffering look. "So far all I've been able to find out is that she's petrified of you and your temper. She's swearing at you and wants you to go to hell. She wants me to repeat that. I told her no. Katie has severe emotional difficulties and almost no impulse control when she's angry which is most of the time. You are correct. She saw something, but she won't say what. She's afraid you'll throw her away in jail and she'll never get out."

"She's just a little girl."

"She's older than she looks. And she's been through a lot. Did you see the scars on her face? Those are from her father. She doesn't talk because she can't. He cut her tongue out. She can't handle male figures and ones in power send her into withdrawal. And your badge doesn't help."

"My badge?"

"Her father was a cop, he's the one who did this to her. You are angry, your focused and you're an imposing presence. She's all but shut down. She's also hysterical, that's why she slapped me and I slapped her back, because she can't be allowed to do that. I deal with severely emotionally disturbed individuals and she is one. She can be dangerous when she really gets going. It has to be stopped at the onset or she has to be tranquilized."

"Why is she out in public then?"

"Because she is a little girl. I can get you the information you need but you have to appear non threatening to her."

"Whoever did this could be getting away as we speak."

"True, but terrorizing her won't help that at all. Do you have children, Detective?"

"Yes, but what…." 

"Let's talk about your kids for a few minutes. If you appear to care for your own kids she might react to that. Your body language means everything to her."

"Alright."

"So how many kids do you have, Detective Stabler?"

"Four."

"Four? All boys?"

"Three girls and one boy." Karen made continuing motions with her hands and he hesitantly made small talk about his kids. He saw Katie listening from the corner. Karen took over and swapped stories about her charges. She told a story where Katie had done something wrong and Elliott made a mild comment about it, not showing anger at all.

Katie came over and stand behind Karen, though she was keeping her guardian between her and Elliott. "So tell me what you know about this crime scene." Karen said.

Elliott told her what he knew while Katie listened intently. When he made a supposition based on something that was wrong, Katie tapped on Karens shoulder and used sign to correct him. It was slow frustrating going, but they were getting somewhere at least. "I just don't know anything else. I was hoping Katie would be able to help me with it."

"So what do you think, Katie? Can you help me?" Elliott asked the girl.

Katie shook her head sharply and retreated from the direct question. "See Katie is very smart for her age. She knows things she doesn't tell. Some day she's going to be one of the first non speaking people ever to hold public office." Karen said. "She's going to be able to help people like herself. She's already decided to go into public service. She helps out a lot at the house and she's really good with other kids. I'm sure she'd help if she could. She doesn't like anyone to get hurt like she is either."

"I sure was hoping to find out who did this. If I can find him, I can stop him."

Katie made a gesture to Karen. "Are you sure?" she demanded. Katie "said" something else. "You may have to rethink your issues, detective. Katie saw the perp and it was a woman."

"A woman? She's sure?"

"She's sure. She saw her well."

"Can she give me a description?"

"She will."

Using sign language was a slow process. Elliott got as much information as he could and went to get a sketch artist to make a drawing of the suspect. Hopefully a woman artist. When he came back, Katie was signing up a storm to Karen. Karen was nodding and listening intently. Captain Cragen came up beside him at the one way mirror. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. I have a description of a sort. I have an artist coming, but all I could get is a man so it might be slow going. Katie is petrified of men. She's talking up a storm now to Karen so I'm waiting hoping she's remembering more and can tell me more when I go back in. I'll go back in when the sketch artist comes up."

"Keep me posted."

"Will do. Here comes the artist now."

The captain nodded and went back to his office. Elliott opened the door and pretended not to see the apprehensive looks Katie gave the two men when they entered. Karens lips tightened just a shade and that was all the change she showed. "This is Rob, he's going to do a sketch for us from what Katie remembers."

"Good. Then I need to ask you a question."

"Go ahead and ask." Elliott said.

"Not until Katie gets done with this. Then we'll ask." Katie made some urgent gestures. "No, I told you. If you don't cooperate, I won't ask. We made a deal." More gestures. "I don't care. We made a deal and you're going to do your part. Go ahead and ask him yourself."

Elliott watched the powerplay. He couldn't understand what Katie was asking for but he recognized the attempts at manipulation from his own children. Katie wanted to ask something in the worst way but she just couldn't bring herself to trust him to ask him herself. She shrugged and gave in turning her attention to Rob. Using Karen as an interpreter they managed to get a view, but it hit a snag at the age. When Rob asked about how old Katie indicated "OLD". Karen laughed.

"What's so funny?" Elliott asked startled.

"To Katie anyone over the age of 15 is OLD." She grinned.

That was funny. Katie didn't think so. "Sweetie, we are OLD. We're entitled to laugh." Karen told her. "How old? My old, Rob's old or older like a grandma? Really? Are you sure?"

"What's she saying?"

"She wants to see Captain Cragen. I'm not sure why. She's been insisting for a bit now."

"I'll go get him."

Elliott went to find Cragen. "Do you have a minute, sir?"

"What's up?"

"Katie, the little girl, wants to see you. I don't know why, but she's insisting."

"I'll be right there."

Katie was cautiously trying to see what Rob was doing on the sketch. She was fascinated, but leery of the man. She motioned to Karen. "She wants to use your pencil."

"Uh, sure." Rob gave it to her and put the pad on the table, backing away.

Katie curled up over the pad and busily used the pencil to make lines on the drawing. "Katie, what is it? Don't mess it all up." Karen said.

But Katie wasn't listening. She sketched happily for a few minutes then dropped the pencil and came over to attach herself to Karens arm. Rob reached over and moved the pad around toward him. "This is good. Is this who you saw?" he asked Katie.

Katie nodded. She signed something. "She was wearing a purple hat, dark purple with an emblem on it, she thinks it was a bird, like a peacock."

Rob doodled a hat. Katie shook her head, that wasn't it. She got frustrated when the ones that he also drew weren't right. Karen had him pull a sheet off his pad and give Katie his pencil again. She drew a hat that looked all out of proportion. Rob looked at it and nodded. "May I?" he asked.

She nodded, but didn't move away quite as far from him. He took the idea and drew a hat. She nodded vigorously. He drew a bird with huge tail feathers on it. Katie took the pencil away from him and corrected the angle, then pointed to the womans head.

"That is good, Katie. You did really well. Here's your drawing, Detective, compliments of Miss Katie here."

Elliott took it and smiled at the girl. "You did a good job, Katie. Thank you. Would you like something to drink?"

Katie nodded drawing one finger down her throat. "She's thirsty. Do you have an orange soda?" Karen asked.

"I think we do."

"I'll have someone bring one in. Bye, Katie. Thank you for the help." Rob said with a smile.

Don Cragen was heading for the interview room when the orange soda was en route and he brought it in with him. Katies eyes got wide when he brought it in and set it on the table. "So, I understand I was requested?" he smiled at the girl.

"Katie wanted to say something." Karen said. Katie made a sign. "No, sweetie, he's not your grandpa. He's Captain Cragen." Karen signed the name.

Katie kept signing the same thing over and over, no matter how many times they told her it wasn't. Finally Elliott asked her. "He looks like your grandfather?"

Katie nodded vigorously. She offered Cragen a shy smile. "Well, that I've never heard you say." Karen said to the girl. "Do you know where you're grandfather lives?

In the ground? He died?" Katie nodded and leaned against her. "I think I need to take little Miss Muffet home now. She's tired. Are we done for now, Detective Stabler?"

"Yes. Thank you, Katie, for your help." Elliott smiled at the girl.

Cragen opened the door for the two and they left. He looked at Elliott. "That was a good job with her. We need to get that out on the bulletins."

"That's my next move." Elliott said.

The two men exited the room. Karen and Katie had not left the squad room yet. Karen put Katie back on the bench and told her sternly. "Do not move, understand?" 

Katie nodded, firmly.

To Cragens surprise, Karen approached him. "May I speak to you for a moment in private?"

"Is in my office alright?"

"That would be fine." Karen glanced back at Katie before proceeding him into his office and positioned herself so she could watch out the door. "I would like to know if I can have a meeting with you sometime away from here, where we could talk."

"Can I ask what it's concerning? If it's something Stabler has done…." 

"No, he was wonderful with her. Both of your officers were excellent. Katie can be quite the little handful. This is something else entirely. Could we meet say somewhere for coffee, when you're done for the day or something? In a public place, naturally."

"I don't see why…"

"It's something I'm still going over in my mind, so I don't want to say too much too soon. Please."

"I guess we could have some coffee. When do you want to do it?"

"Tomorrow evening? I have someone coming in on Tuesdays to stay with the kids so I'm free for whenever you can get off."

"Unless something explodes tomorrow, I can make a meeting about 6:00? There's a coffee shop down around the corner that serves a mean cup and has a good pie."

"Then it's a date. Oh, sorry. Bad choice of words." She smiled.

Don grinned at her. "I'll see you there, Karen. It's called Callies."

"I'll be there, Captain."

"Don."

"See you tomorrow night at 6:00 unless I hear from you otherwise, Don." She smiled and left his office.

"Is everything alright, Captain?" Olivia asked coming back into the squad room.

"Yes. I have a date for tomorrow night." He grinned and went back into his office and closed the door.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Captain Heart CH 2**

About 4:00 the next afternoon things went crazy at the precinct and Don was going to call Karen and cancel then realized he had no idea of how to get in touch with her. The detectives were watching him like a hawk and he cursed his loose tongue for telling them something like he 'had a date.' It wasn't actually a date. A meeting, that's what he should have said. It was too late now, he was stuck with it.

Things had settled down to a dull roar by 5:45 so he bit the bullet and went to meet Karen. She had found a booth and there was a cup of coffee waiting for him with all the condiments available. She was drinking a soft drink and writing a list of some kind on the table. She closed the notebook when he sat down. "Hello." He said. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

"Not at all. Hello. I was just jotting down some things I need to take care of."

"It looked like quite a list."

"If there's no rest for the wicked, I'm Satan's bride. How was your day?"

"It was okay, but you didn't want to talk about that did you?"

"OOO right to the point. I like that. No, that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Katie is one of the seven kids I have at my place now. I try to provide a home for troubled kids from homes where there was abuse, drugs, all manner of problems. Is there a Mrs. Captain?"

"No, I'm a widower."

She nodded once and continued. "Most of my kids just need love and some guidance. Some stability and support. Unfortunately what they also require is a strong male role model and some good old fashion talking to once in a while. I can do the talking to, but as to the male role model, I'm sadly lacking. Katie took to you like a duck takes to water yesterday and I'm amazed. She's never done that before. I was hoping I might persuade you to come out to my place every once in a while and just hang out with the kids. You seem to have a way with them, of course, I saw your office so it looks like you have your hands full of kids of your own."

Don snorted derisively. "Some days it feels like that. I really don't have a lot of time to do things off duty…."

"I understand. I had to ask. Part of the reason I asked is because many of these kids have had negative male role models in their lives. And what's worse is that the ones they do come in contact with are male police officers. So they are getting a double dose of negativity. Not to be too blunt about it, Don, but what these kids need it exactly what you have an abundance of. You have patience, wisdom, you are non threatening, yet you have a 'Don't even think about it' demeanor about you. I noticed it right away. I'm not asking you to come out as a police captain. I was hoping I could persuade you to come out to visit and see what we're all about. If you decide not to come back, maybe you could recommend someone to do it instead."

"What about Elliott? He has four kids."

"I can't do that. He's a nice enough guy, but he has anger issues. That would be like putting the fox in the hen house. I like my chickens whole, thank you."

The waitress came over for a refill. "What kind of pie do you have today?" Don asked.

"Cherry and Chocolate."

"I'll have a slice of Cherry. How about you?"

"I'd like to see a menu, please. I'm going to eat here. I get one afternoon a week off to eat my whole dinner without a food fight and I'm doing it here." Karen laughed.

"Mind if I join you?" Don asked.

"That'd be nice. You aren't going to start a food fight, are you?"

"I don't plan on it." He grinned. "Never mind the cherry pie. I'll have the roast beef platter. It's always good here."

"Then make it two and bring us the pie afterward. I'll have the chocolate." Karen grinned.

"Two specials coming up. Do you want a refill?" the waitress asked Karen.

"With the food, please. Thank you."

"So dinner at your house must be a riot." Don grinned.

"We have our days. Seriously though, I have a reason for looking for someone to help me now, other than the fact that it's providence that I just met you. I have a young man at my home who is 14 and he has some serious anger management problems. I've tried to help him, but he needs a man to show him that men do not need to hit to be a man. Hitting is the only way he knows to communicate then he's angry. He has a stuttering problem and it seems to be more pronounced when he's mad and that makes him madder still. So far he has not hit me, but he has come close. He's in counseling, but he's skating on thin ice. If he does hit me even once I'll have to bounce him and he'll end up in juvie. I'm trying to prevent that."

"Maybe that's where he should be."

"Maybe, but I think that there's just enough good in him that he could be turned around, but it's going to take someone with a lot of self discipline to do it. That's why I'm hoping you'll at least give us a chance."

"My job keeps me pretty busy, but I guess I could spare a couple of hours now and again."

"One thing, I tell everyone who comes to my place. I pull no punches and I will always be straight with them if they're straight with me. I will tell them what you do and that I'm not putting any restrictions on you. If they misbehave or are in any way disrespectful, you are free to come down on them as hard as you like, short of actually hitting them. If they hit you first, then all bets are off. I never ever come on like gangbusters the first time, but I don't back down either. I'll support whatever action you take."

"That's a lot of confidence in someone you just met."

"You come highly recommended."

"I do? By who?"

"I asked about you at the agency I work with. They had nothing but high praise for you."

"I don't know what to say."

"I'm surprised that you're surprised. You check people out all the time, don't you? If I was working with disturbed children, doesn't it make sense that I'd want to ask about you before I asked you?"

"If you put it that way, it does. So how about your husband? Does he mind?"

"I don't have one. I wear a wedding ring, because there are a number of people who believe someone our age is desperate if they aren't married. Or at least that's what I've been told. This keeps the leeches away and it gives me some leverage for overzealous parents who think a woman alone can be a pushover. It's a preventative strike to keep them at bay. I have male assistants, but they're by and large young or transitional."

The waitress interrupted the conversation to bring the meals and Karens other drink. They smelled heavenly. Don dug into his because she did also. The conversation turned to other matters and he found himself laughing at her jokes and stories. They agreed on the same music and the foibles of the younger generation, though Karen refused politely but firmly to give her age. "And don't you go poking around, either, Don Cragen, or I'll sic Katie on you." She wagged her finger in his face.

"Heaven forbid." He grinned.

It was getting late and Karen yawned then again. "I'm so sorry. It's not the company, really."

"That's okay. I'm an early riser anyway. Can I call you back concerning this issue?"

"Only if you tell me over another dinner, yes or no. I enjoyed myself."

"It's a deal. How about Friday night? If you can get away that is."

"I'd like that. Do you like a fish fry?"

"Yes."

"Good. There's an all you can eat fish fry out by me that serves up some darn big pieces. And the buffet is worth every penny. My treat."

"How do I get there?"

Karen told him while they paid and they walked outside. He followed her to a pickup truck. "Thank you for a nice time, Don." She held out a hand to shake his.

He took it in his. "I enjoyed it too. I'll see you Friday night."

She got into the truck and started it up. She backed out of the spot. "One more thing. Do you dance?"

"Not well."

"Perfect. See you then." She laughed, waved and drove away. He went back to his car and went home.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Captain Heart Ch 3**

When Friday night came Don was ready for the weekend. He wasn't on call, except for the end of the world and he was ready for fish. He kept smiling thinking about her. What would she be like tonight? So far he'd seen her twice and she was different both times. He chose a sport shirt, his lightweight jacket and some jeans. He had to take his gun and badge, going out into public like he was, but he put the gun in his clip on holster and his badge in his inside pocket.

Karens truck was there and he parked next to it. She came striding over from talking to some people and greeted him with a smile. She had on sandals, a denim skirt and a lightweight cotton blouse. Her hair was braided down her back and she looked like one of the kids from high school. She wasn't and he knew it, but it was a nice illusion. "Don, I'm glad you could make it." She smiled and took both of his hands.

"It doesn't look too busy." He said.

"It's early yet. People will start rolling in soon. Let's get a good table. Do you need to have one close to the door so you can leave if you need to?"

"That's a good idea."

"That's where the local police usually sit. I figured you'd want to as well."

"The local police?"

"Yes. I'm well known to them. Liked is a matter of opinion, but well known is a good enough term. Not everyone believes in what I do, you know."

"That's a shame."

"You peeked, you naughty boy." She told him casually.

"Excuse me?"

"You looked up my age. If I didn't already expect you to, I'd be disappointed."

"How did you….?" 

"Because of the look you gave me. I refuse to grow up and sometimes I look too old and sometimes too young, but you weren't surprised. So I know you peeked."

"I just didn't want to be called a cradle robber."

"Instead of a smooth talking devil?" she laughed. "Forget it. I expected it. Is this table okay?"

"This is fine."

"I'll let you have that chair. No one will be walking behind you or blocking you in. Do you know what this means?" she made two gestures with her hands.

"No."

"That is your name. This means, Captain, the epaulettes on your shoulders, and this means heart in Katie talk. She can't spell your name so she's dubbed you Captain Heart. It's her own designation for you. You really made an impression on her."

"Or her grandfather did."

"That could be but she's never mentioned him before so I doubt it was that."

"How do you sign her name?"

"Up here. That stands for a proper name and the first letter of her name. Because she has a special name for you it is different for you."

"How did you come about learning to sign?"

"I'm good with languages, but there are so many people who speak the spoken one that I decided to go for American Sign Language degree. It's quite useful. If you're in a crowd of people you can have a conversation with someone and not have to shout. I use it on my dogs or to communicate to the kids. All I have to do is get their attention.

You can relax, Don, the chances that anyone knows who you are here is remote."

He gave her a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry. Too many years as a cop. Crowds of people still make me uneasy."

"I haven't seen many people here who will cause trouble. They don't serve any liquor and the local force is well represented so you can relax. Tell me, do you have any children? Other than the ones in your squad room?"

"No. My wife Marge and I were never blessed that way."

"I think the world missed out on a lot then."

"How can you make that judgment? We don't know each other that well." Don asked.

"I have decent instincts. When I don't follow my instincts, that's when I get into trouble."

"Instincts are important. So tell me more about your place. It sounds interesting."

"That's a good word for it. I have a mixture of boys and girls with medical or psychological problems based on their parents drug or alcohol habits. Some are physical and some are just abuse cases. I do my best to foster a feeling of love and acceptance of them and their problems as long as they're with me. Some are there longer than others, some will never leave, I hope. Others I don't know. Some I wish would leave and not come back (I'm ashamed to admit that), others I hope will realize they can come back if they need me."

"Do you have any kids of your own?"

"No."

"Just no?"

"No, end of discussion." She laughed. "Oh, crap. Pardon my language."

"What caused that?" he asked immediately alert.

"Damn. That old battle axe in the purple dress, ew, just spotted us and we're about to be visited. I thought she was sick with the vapors or something."

Don grinned at her. "You aren't serious."

"Absolutely. She's the biggest gossip in this burg and she's headed this way. Don't be too nice to her or she'll never go away. She's a tremendous flirt, but she's nasty. She doesn't like my place and is always trying to undercut my efforts to make things easier for us. Betty, how are you?"

"Hello, Karen. It's good to see you. You don't have your brood with you do you?" she looked around like she thought they were about to be descended upon.

"I do, and they're about to swoop in like the Horde. No, Betty, they're at home. I heard you weren't feeling well."

"I was feeling puny, but I'm feeling better now. Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Don Cragen, this is Betty Bozinski. She is a fixture in town." Karen said looking caught between a rock and a hard place. She didn't want to antagonize the woman, but she didn't want her to hang around either.

"How do you do." Don shook her hand graciously, having just a bit of trouble reclaiming his hand.

"Are you from around here?" she asked.

"Just visiting."

"He's thinking about helping me at my place." Karen put in. "We met on a professional level."

"Oh, I see." Betty said, not able to hide her distaste. "It was nice to meet you. I need to get back to my table."

"Don't let us keep you. I'm sure your friends are missing you." Don felt obliged to put in.

After she left, Don tried to hide his smile. "You two were like a couple of cats after a tuna."

"I resemble that remark!" Karen told him indignantly. "Honestly, Betty isn't so bad but she is very….sanctimonious. She's a good woman, but she doesn't care for my kids. We aren't exactly churchgoing angels every day."

"Ah, I see."

"It looks like the food is done. Ready to get in line?"

"This is an all you can eat?"

"Oh, yeah, that's why the draw."

Don laughed. "That's one of the reasons I came. I haven't had good fish in a very long time. You are the other one."

Karen smiled and he was pleased to see she was embarrassed. "The fish is good or I wouldn't be here either. A good steak ranks right up there with that as well."

"Maybe next time." He found himself saying.

They went to get in line. People were laughing and joking and having a good time. They were teasing each other about who could eat how many fish and who would be going to the bar afterward. One of the children running around playing bumped into Don and he caught the youngster before he fell with a plate full of food. "Easy, guy." Don said.

"Sorry." The boy said and flew on his way.

"You're a hit." Karen grinned at him. "You have quick hands."

"I should. I've had quite a bit of practice."

"Good. I appreciate you coming tonight. I try to give the kids good role models. Next week we're having a special day. We are celebrating the 10th anniversary of when I took in my first kid. I'm planning a big celebration. We're going to invite some of the parents to see what the kids have been up to and some of them I hope don't come, but I had to extend the invitation. We're going to have displays of the artwork they've been working on, showing them how well the kids can ride now, the garden we've been working on, the repairs to the place...all those kinds of things. You're welcome to come, too."

"I might have to work." Don said trying not to volunteer for things he couldn't do.

"I understand."

"So you hope some of the parents don't show up?"

"I have a couple of parents who are trouble makers. Drunks, the abusers, we have a couple who think they're kids were taken illegally and we've had to be strict about security to keep the kids there. Some of the parents just don't care, or want the kids back to use them. I'm doing my best to prevent that. I have some volunteers coming out tomorrow, but I'm afraid it won't be enough."

"Could you use some off duty police officers?"

"I sure could. but I can't ask them. For one thing, I don't know them and for another I can't pay anything. All I can promise is a good time and good food. We have three of the kids who've formed an informal band. They aren't bad, but they promised us a concert of a sort."

"I'll see if there's anyone who wants to come out. Sometimes the officers have a soft spot for hard luck kids and have nothing else to do. Some of them could use a good deed, if you know what I mean."

"I do. I'm not able to have the officers that work juvie out, it might compromise their position, and those are the ones I'd love to have. They could develop a rapport with the kids."

"That's a good idea. I have a few officers who are really good with kids."

That would be great." We moved up to be served and conversation was suspended for a few minutes. We went back to the table to see we'd been joined by an older couple. "Hello, Mrs. Holliway, Mr. Holliway. This is Don Cragen. It's his first time here. The Holloways are long time residents of our town. We have had two of their grandkids volunteering at our camp in the summer."

"How do you do." Don greeted them. He shook hands with Mr. Holliway and nodded to Mrs. Holliway.

"Are you from around here?" Christian Holliway asked.

"No, just visiting." Don said.

"Are you thinking of moving here?" Mrs. Holliway asked.

"No, ma'am. I work in the city."

"I ran into Don in a professional capacity and invited him here to taste this wonderful fish. Mr. Holliway is one of the organizers here. He was one of the founders of this."

"How long have you been doing this?" Don asked politely.

That was all the nudge the Holliways needed to talk non stop about the event. It was ineresting except Don had the impression Karen had heard it before. She kept a pleasant look on her face the whole time, but he didn't get to hear any more about the camp.

The food was good and so was the conversation. People stopped to talk to them and it was a friendly communication of a small town He had been in a big city too long, small towns were good to be in. After a filling meal, Karen looked at him. "Would you like to go to for a walk? I can't drive until I digest some of this."

"That's a good idea."

He followed her lead out the door. The evening had turned mild and she lead the way down the grassy park to where is sloped down to a river. They weren't the only ones there. Several people were there. Some of them had made boats of straw, they were launching them into the river. "What's going on here?"

"It's a tradition. If you have a wish you want fulfilled, you make a boat of something biodegradable you launch it into the river and it's supposed to come true."

"Does it work?"

"It brought me you, didn't it? It doesn't always work quite the way you want it to, but sometimes it does."

"You wished for me?"

Karen laughed. "I wished for someone who could help me take care of the the kids. Someone strong enough to take care of the troublesome kids without scaring the younger ones and fate brought me in contact with you."

"Do you believe it?"

Karen laughed again. "Who am I to say? There's evidence for and against. I guess it depends on how much you believe. Maybe it's good Karma."

"Stranger things have happened." he admitted.

"Would you like to try it?"

"I don't have a boat."

"That's for elaborate wishes, thought out several weeks in advance. You can use just a piece of paper or a stick, a leaf, amything that'll float and won't hurt the evironment."

"I don't have a wish."

"Yo could wish for a someone to recommend a really good book for you to read. Or a nice dinner out with someone you never get to see any more, or someone to find a lost object. It doesn't have to be life affirming and what's it going to hurt?"

"Like wishes on a birthday cake, or a star?" he smiled.

"Exactly. Just something fun. Or not. No pressure. I will."

She found a leaf and picked up a second one. She handed it to him and closed her eyes holding the leaf with both hands then squatted next to the river an placed hers gently in the water. It sped away. "What did you wish for?" he asked.

"It's personal. You can tell if it involves the other person but you don't have to."

Don shrugged, made a wish and set his leaf in the water. It started slowly and picked up speed down the river current after Karens until all the wish boats had disappeared around the bend. "So now what?"

"Now you go on with your life."

"And how will you know if it worked?"

"You'll know. If the wish is true and honest it will." Karen shrugged. "At least that's the local legend. I've never put a lot of faith in it, but they do and as I said, it brought me in contact with you. There's a pathway down here that has a great view of the lake it you want to see it." she changed the subject abruptly.

She was as nervous as he was, he realized. "I'd like that. I don't get a chance to see sights like this in New York too often."

"That's one of the reasons I live here and commute to the city. I'm a small town girl at heart." She indicated a board walk going into the woods.

He moved up beside her and they started down the path. Karen was slightly ahead of him and he was between her and the river. Not that he planned it that way, but it seemed to work out that way. There were trees that had grown up, that the walk was around, making it zig zag, but every effort had been made to maintain the atmosphere and a minimum impact on the ecology. There were spots along the way where benches had been placed for people to sit. The first half dozen were occupied. They kept moving until they found an empty one. "Can we sit?" Don asked.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to." Karen said.

"It's a lovely night and I'd like to take advantage of it." He sat down and Karen sat a careful distance from him. He had the impression she was still a bit leery of him, though she was asking him to come into her home to be a part of her work. "I don't need to attack a woman to get sex." he said, then was horrified at the slip of his tongue. What had they put in the fish?

Karen laughed. "Too obvious? Sorry, I'm nervous. I don't date much. Not that this is one."

"It could be considered one, but it doesn't have to be. I don't have any expectations in that area. You can relax. So tell me more about your organization."

Karen relaxed as she talked and he sensed a genuine love for her business and the kids that she helped. Even the ones that caused her stress and aggravation. He had to admire her dedication to her cause. And she saw the humor in her kids, not just the dreary side or the negative side. He liked that. There was too much bleakness in his own line of work. A yawn snuck up on her, and she apologized. "It's not the company. I'm an early riser."

"Then we ought to get back. I need to get back. I have an early day tomorrow."

They walked back toward the landing. Most of the others had gone home and there were only a few people there, cleaning up when they reached the building. Karen smiled at him. "I guess we're one of the last ones to go."

"I guess we are. Did you drive the truck?"

"I"m a truck kind of woman and I have alot of things that need to be hauled."

"Karen, it was fun, thank you for inviting me. I'd like to come see your place another day. Can you give me a call?"

"I'd like that. And I enjoyed talking to you too, Don. Is it okay if I call you that?"

"Yes. Drive careful going home."

"You too. Good night."

"Good night." he watched her go to her truck and get in before he got into his car.

On the way home, he opened the windows to his car and smelled the night air. He smelled the noticeable difference between the country air and the smells of the city. And smiled thinking of that contradiction of the woman he'd just left. He was looking forward to seeing her again.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Captain Heart CH 4**

There was a flurry of activity in the Special Victims Squad room for the next several days and Cragen couldn't get away from there except to grab something to eat and catch some sleep. In the few minutes he had to contemplate anything it was the quiet walk he'd had with Karen along the river. He had not heard from her and wondered if she'd changed her mind about asking him to come out to her place. Then he'd sigh, grateful she couldn't see the mess he had here.

Fin and Munch had caught a rapist in the park and wrestled him to the ground. The mans lawyer was screaming police brutality to anyone who'd listen. Olivia had her arm in a sling from a pedophile who'd tried to escape her arrest warrant and thought charging the woman detective was more intelligent than charging Elliott. Cragen could have told her different, but no one had asked him. Elliott would have grabbed her and held her no problem, Olivia was not as lenient.

Olivia was fit to be tied at being stuck behind a desk until the sprain healed and she was snapping at everyone. The woman was just not an easy patient. Cragen had two stacks of paperwork on his desk that demanded attention and it was a beautiful fall day. He would rather have been outside.

His phone rang again and he snatched it off the cradle. "Cragen."

"Wow. I'm glad I'm not standing right next to you, I'd be missing my head." Karens laughing voice said.

"Sorry. It's been a rough couple of days and I'm on edge. I didn't mean to snap at you." He said contritely.

"You're entitled. I've had a busy few myself. I was calling to see if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight, my treat. I'm stuck in a hotel for tonight and I just don't feel like fast food. Or eating alone. Can you get away?"

"I have a mountain of paperwork to do."

"I'd bring it to you, except it's probably not a great place to have a picnic, is it?"

Cragen snorted. "No, it's not. Where are you?"

"Downstairs, actually. I had some business here and I was close so I thought of you."

He felt a warmth in his belly he hadn't felt in a while. "That's nice. I was just thinking of you a few minutes ago."

"Good thoughts, I hope. So have you eaten?"

"Not yet."

"Is the captain allowed to eat?" she teased.

"Yes, after everyone else does."

Karen made a rude noise and laughed. "Bull cookies."

Don was smiling. "Bull cookies? Is that what I just heard you say?"

"That's what I said. Tell me, is there a back way out of your office? We could go eat on the fire escape."

"No, sorry. You aren't going to give up on this idea, are you?" he was flattered that she was insisting on spending time with him.

"It's not in my makeup." She assured him.

"Well, I can't stand a lady up for dinner. I guess I could take an hour or so off for a hot meal."

"That's excellent."

"I'll be down in ten minutes."

"I'll be expecting you."

He hung up feeling energized. A break in the action. That was what he needed. He didn't want to admit it was more than that. It was interesting, that was all. He did what he had to do to close his office and was headed out the door when Karen came toward him with a huge platter of homemade cookies. Her required escort walked next to her munching on some. She grinned at him. "I thought your officers might like some cookies."

"We really can't accept those…." Don said.

"Sure we can, Captain. It's not like she was a suspect or anything." Fin told him coming over to help her with the platter. Fins sweet tooth was well known. "Let's see what you have here."

"Chocolate chip, oatmeal, fudge and a mixture that puts all that to shame. It has oatmeal, chocolate chips, raisins and nuts. It's expensive as all get out to make, but it makes your mouth water just thinking about them. I only make them once or twice a year. They're heavenly." Karen said.

Fin took one and bit into it. "Oh, man, are these terrific. These have to be the best I've ever tasted."

"I'll bet you say that to all the cookie bakers." Karen grinned at him.

"He does." Munch came over and took a bite of a cookie. "But he's right. These are definitely good."

"Good, I'm glad you like them."

"I was going to come down." Don told her.

"Then the officers downstairs would've gotten all the cookies. I practically had to chase them off with a stick."

"She's right." The officer escorting her assured him.

"Anyway, I made them for your squad. Are you ready?" she asked Don.

"Yes. I'll be back in a little while. Use my cell if you need to get in touch with me." He told the astonished detectives. He gestured for her to go first. "You really didn't have to do that." He told her with a smile.

"I suppose not, but in a way I did. It was a lesson for the kids that they can cook for themselves, that they aren't going to be hurt by doing something nice for others and I put a math lesson in there. I had them add portions together to make larger ones. Plus home economics and reading a recipe. And it was worth the bickering for them to enjoy the results. And I had to do something with the extra cookies, all that extra sugar will send them over the moon. Plus, I had an excuse to come see you."

"You didn't need an excuse for that." He said.

"I felt like I should. You've got to be a busy man, so I didn't want to disturb you."

"I could use it and you're a nice distraction."

"Why, thank you. I suppose you're going to get razzed about this, huh?"

"Probably."

"You could always threaten them with a cookie drought."

"The others will be lucky if there's anything left when they get in. You said you've had a busy couple of days?"

"Yeah. We had an inspection from the state. Some of the kids acted out and I had a hell of a time, pardon my language, convincing the straight laced old battle axe that we shouldn't be shut down completely. It was a stretch and I had to come down pretty hard on the boys as punishment. That makes me cranky and it just rolls downhill. I try not to let my moods affect everyone, but it's not easy."

"It's not, but sometimes it has to happen. If they don't understand how their actions affect others they can't learn to judge just how bad their behavior is. If that makes any sense."

"It does. I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm sorry if I'm a bit off tonight."

"Think nothing of it. What kind of food are you in the mood for?"

"Chinese is always my favorite, but I need sustenance and lots of it. Stick to your ribs food. It's my treat so whatever you choose will be fine."

"Do you want to drive or would you like to take my car?"

"Would it be alright if we take yours? Mine's being a bit of a pain right now."

"I'd be happy to. If you don't mind my asking what business did you have downstairs?"

Karen made a face. "My lovely neighbor feels it her duty to turn us in for every infraction no matter how minor. And over time they add up. We have a rather active little household and they want to know when and why there were so many problems. The office is downstairs."

"And you have to stay overnight for this?"

"I had a late appointment and an early one tomorrow for someone who couldn't be there today. It's a pain, but what're you going to do? I don't want to make the trip twice and with my truck being stupid I don't want to risk not being able to get back here in the morning."

"Maybe you should have it looked at while you're here."

"No money, we've had some pretty hefty bills this month."

"Can you get some emergency funds for food and supplies?"

"If I did it would be a loan and then I'd have to pay back more. We're fine for food and I have plenty of things to keep the kids busy, it's just things they can't help with that I've got my fingers crossed stay running. Never mind, it'll all work out. I'm having dinner with a handsome guy and that is all that matters."

"I could take up donations….." 

"No, thank you. We'll be fine. We have to learn to tough it out through the hard times. I'll use it as a lesson in perseverance and pride in being able to rely on yourself when times are against you."

"Do you use everything as a life lesson?"

"Somethings I try to soften, but not so much that they don't know what's going on. That teaches nothing, but avoidance. Beauty and ugly often go hand in hand. They might as well learn that now as later."

"You have a tougher job than mine."

"I don't look at it this way. I think that if I can reach these few kids I might be able to at least stem the tide. Maybe some of my kids won't end up in your system. I try to support and encourage before they need the crack down of an over crowded prison or worse."

"Every time I see a kid go down for things that have been done to him, I think if only someone had been able to help him. I'm glad to hear that someone is trying to do just that."

"I'd like to be able to talk to some of the other people who do this for a living. I'd like to be able to share ideas, have group picnics, do field trips, things like that, but the system isn't designed for that. I'm not able to break the wall of resistance."

"That would be a good idea. Would you….like me to help you get the ball rolling? I know you said you don't want help…."

"Financially we're fine. Breaking down the wall of silence? Feel free to hit it with both feet."

"I have just the people who can do that, too. I'll let you know what I find out."

"Terrific."

Don pulled into a small parking lot with only a dozen or so spaces and shut the car off. "We're here."

"Where is here?"

"This is the restaurant with no name. I have a buddy and his family that run this place. He is a former officer who is now a paraplegic but he cooks like a gourmet. After the shooting, he was depressed and almost committed suicide, but his family got him interested in this idea and here it is. He never named it so it has no listing. Only those who know him, know of it. I will warn you, he'll talk you ear off, though."

"That's fine." Don locked the car and came around it. Karen reached out and took his hand. "I'm sorry. That was forward of me." She started to remove her hand.

He captured it again. "I don't mind." He told her shyly.

She smiled at him and followed him to the door. They went inside. The atmosphere was subdued and classy. There were perhaps nine tables, most of them held other diners but there were wide aisles between the tables and Karen soon found out why.

"Don, it's good to see you. Long time, man." A powerfully built man rolled a wheelchair toward them. He had on massive muscles on his arms and chest, and a huge grin on his face. He clasped Dons hand in a solid grip that might've crushed a hand if he'd wanted to.

"Rudd, how are you?" Don grinned.

"Doing, okay. I see you have a pretty lady with you tonight."

"Karen Wesson, this is Rudd Maynard. He's the owner of this place, but you have to watch out for him. He likes the ladies." Don said.

"Welcome, Karen. Don't believe this old duffer. He's a con artist."

"It's nice to meet you, Rudd." Emily said with a smile, shaking his hand.

"We need a table, Rudd, and a good meal. I have to get back." Don said.

The briefest flash of pain zipped across Rudds face and then was gone. "Bad business, leaving a lady after you eat and run." He scolded.

"Don't worry. I'm taking her with me." Don laughed. "She knows better than to take you seriously."

"Come with me. I have a great table for you and a roast beef that will melt in your mouth. Jefferys newest delight. I have to work out several hours a day to keep fit from it." Rudd wheeled himself around with practiced ease and rolled ahead of us to the table. He'd snagged a couple of menus on the way by and handed them to us as we sat down. "Anything to drink?" he asked.

"Just sparkling water for me." Don said.

"I'd like a diet soda. Pepsi if you have it." Karen said.

"We do. I'm a Pepsi person myself. And would you like the Roast Beef? Or would you like to look at the menu?"

"Roast Beef sounds good to me." Karen said immediately.

"I'll have the same." Don agreed.

"Mashed potatoes and gravy or French Fries? Salad or Cottage Cheese?"

They both chose the potatoes and a green salad. It was almost predestined. Rudd rolled away to take care of some other customers who were demanding his attention. "He must've been a good cop." Karen said.

"He was, but I'll tell you something. I actually think he's happier here doing this. He was letting the stress get to him and I think it would have destroyed his marriage."

"Which division was he in?"

"We were in Vice."

"The Greed and Corruption division." Karen nodded. "I did have one more reason for wanting to see you, Don, and I'm hoping you won't hold it against me. Seeing you was the main reason I came, but I need to ask this."

"Go ahead." He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"I've been warned that you have a drinking problem. That you may not be the best person to be around the kids. I told them to mind their own business, but it was badly received."

"I am an alcoholic. I'm not proud of it, it cost me a lot both personally and professionally. What I am proud of is that I have not had a drink in years, but I am still a drunk and I always will be. The taste of it will never go away and the smell will always get to me. That's who I am, but as long as I can hold out I will and I won't ever take a drink again if I can help it. That is a pledge I made to myself and my late wife, Marge. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes. And you have every right to be offended."

"I'm not offended."

"Upset then. Any way you want to put it. I apologize for having to ask. I have to protect my kids. I never would have asked you to come to dinner with me or come out to the fish dinner or to the place if I thought you were untrustworthy. I go with my instincts. Every instinct I own says you are a man of your word and I can trust you. I still want you to come out and spend time with us. If you still want to. I'll understand if you don't."

"Who told you?"

"Mrs. Kurnish. She was so disapproving, I wanted to smack her good and hard."

"She's about twice your size." Don said with a smile. His mind was presenting him with a picture of Karen and the overly large German woman duking it out.

"So?" Karen said indignantly. "Watch your mouth, woman. He's a friend of mine." She shadow boxed for a minute.

"Is that what we are? Friends?"

"For now." Karen nodded giving him a look from under her eyelashes. "You shared with me now I'm going to share with you."

"You don't have to…." Don began.

"I do. I'm not exactly as nice as I look. I have a mean, jealous streak a mile wide and it's landed me in a lot of hot water over the years. I've had some brushes with the law, but I've never been arrested. I fight dirty, and I fight to win, now though it's usually for my kids. If anyone saw my record, I'd probably have them taken away for my lack of self control, bad example or something, but I'll fight anyone to keep them. In an odd sort of way, as much of a pain as they can be, they're my kids and I'm trying to do right by them."

"You don't have any of your own?"

"No. I never… I never did." Karen leaned over and gestured him closer.

He leaned close and she whispered something in his ear. He jerked back and looked at her in astonishment. She burst out laughing and he grinned along with her. "No, you are not."

"No, I'm not, but I made you look." She teased.

Don was amazed at her quirky sense of humor. She was laughing at her own joke and took a drink of her water with eyes twinkling at him over her glass. She made a disgusted face at the taste and hurriedly put it from her. "Water this bad should be considered a health code violation."

"It's just tap water." He said.

"Ugh. Awful. We have hard water out by us, but it tastes good. Next time I come to the city overnight I'll bring some. Ewww!"

"Good thing for you that dinner is here." Rudd said bringing our food. He actually had one of the younger men carrying it while he had a special tray across his chair with our drinks and the condiments. The younger man put our plates on the table and left. Rudd slid the drinks on the table. "Don, it was good to see you again. Karen, it was an pleasure to meet you."

"Same here, Rudd." Don said.

"The pleasure was mine." Karen told him.

Rudd rolled away and Don applied himself to his meal with the same zeal Karen was showing. It was good. There was no tenseness between him and Karen he noticed. She kept making small jokes that had him grinning or laughing most of the meal. She finished eating before he did and made an origami rabbit out of a paper napkin while she waited for him to finish his meal. It was snowy white and not quite a real one, but it was pretty good for the quality of material she worked with. She pretended to hop it over and lifted it up to kiss his cheek with it, grinning as she did so.

"Can I bring you some desert?" the waiter asked.

"None for me." Karen said.

"Just the bill, please." Don said.

"I get it. It's my treat." Karen told first the waiter then him.

"You said you were having money trouble." he reminded her quietly.

"The business is, I'm fine. I can invite a gentleman out to eat if I want to."

"My treat next time."

"Okay. It's a deal." The waiter brought the check and Karen put money on it and got up. She had left a decent tip, he noticed. She looked at the table then at him. "I used to be a waitress. Dirty, thankless job, let me tell you."

They left the restaurant and Karen slipped her hand back into his. That was pleasant. He was wishing the walk was a longer one. He opened the car door for her and put a hand on her arm before she got in. She looked at him with a question in her eyes. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Thank you for dinner." He said softly.

She smiled at him. "You're welcome." And got into the car.

He drove back to the precinct house and pulled into the space reserved for the Captain. "I'd like to see you again. If I haven't ruined anything."

"You haven't and I'd like that."

"I'm not on call this weekend. Would you like to go out to dinner and maybe a movie this Saturday night?"

"How about dinner and dancing? I'm just not a movie theatre kind of person."

"That sounds like fun. Can I pick you up about 6:00?"

"Sounds good. I'm glad you could come with me tonight."

Don went around to open her door. "I can't seem to get this seatbelt off." Karen said.

Perplexed, Don reached in to help her and she whispered his name. He looked at her and she kissed him. "You weren't stuck at all." He accused with a smile.

"Made you look." She grinned at him and showed him that she'd been holding the seatbelt with her hand.

He backed out so she could get out and closed the door after her. "I'll see you Saturday." He said.

"See you then." She said and strolled for the street.

He watched her until she was out of sight then went back up to his stack of papers. Fin and Munch shared a look at his smile before they turned back to their cases too.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Captain Heart Ch 5**

Saturday night Don was at Karens gates at 5:50. He tooted his horn as instructed and the gates opened. He felt like he was entering a prison facility. Except he soon saw why the gates were there. There were kids and animals of all kinds running all around in a chaos reminescent of a circus. The kids appeared to be trying to round up the different animals. Don pulled into a parking spot and got out. He wandered toward the front door. It opened and Karen appeared in jeans and a T-Shirt with a mens shirt over the whole thing and bare feet.. "Don, welcome. Come in. I'm sorry you caught us at less than our best. One of the kids had a temper tantrum because he was voted down about the choice of TV tonight so he opened all the fences and cages and let all the animals out. It's going to take them awhile to put them back and for every hour that it takes Barry takes one day of someones chores to do. He'll be out of the system by the time this punishment has passed. Did I say welcome?"

"At the very beginning." Don grinned. "So do you want to cancel the date?"

"Hell, no. Sorry. No, I'm going out. My assistants are here and they'll track down the escapees. And keep an eye on Barry. I'm sorry. We aren't always this rowdy. It'll only take me a few minutes to change. Make yourself at home. There's liquids in the frig if you're thirsty." She reached up and gave him a quick kiss then darted into the other room.

Don stood uncertainly in the kitchen. He decided to sit down at the kitchen table. A young man nearly old enough to be out of the system slunk into the room. "You her date?" he asked rudely.

"Don Cragen. You'd be Barry?"

"How'd you know? Oh, of course. She'd tell you. That woman can talk to a post and make it listen."

"Thanks for the compliment." Karen said coming back into the room. She had on a nice dress and was carrying her shoes. She had thrown her hair up with some combs and put on some makeup. She sat down at the table and put on her shoes. She stood up and faced Barry.

"You know the drill. That little temper tantrum out there is going to keep you up to your elbows in greasy dishes for weeks. Not to mention you having to reimburse me for the vet bills caused when the horses fought because Neil and Charlie don't get along and Charlie needs stitches and a shot. Get those applications filled out and hit the hay. You're not going to watch that show anyway so lights out early for you. Got me?"

"Yes." Barry mumbled.

"Yes, what?" Karen demanded.

"Yes, Ma'am." Barry said reluctantly.

"You better get used to saying that. That'll keep you employed if that mouth of yours runs off. Go on. I'm still really angry at you. And you better be nice to the kids who're out there paying for you temper tantrum."

Barry sent her a resentful look and left the room. Karen closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before letting it out and shook her head. "That kid is going to end up in prison yet. He's so damned hard headed."

"I thought you handled that well."

"I'm at...never mind. I'm ready when you are. Are we going to be late for a reservation or something?"

"No, we're fine. Do you have a wrap or something? It's a bit cool tonight."

"I, no, I don't. Let me think. Oh, hell, my good sweater got sacrificed for a litter of kittens."

"You have a regular menagerie here then."

"I'll be fine. I'm a tough old broad. Let's go. I need some real adult conversation. And some time away from here."

"I have a good heater if you get cold." Don opened the door for her and they left.

She stopped in her truck as they passed and grabbed something out of the seat. She showed him the remote. "We aren't going to get out of here otherwise."

"Is that usually necessary?"

"Not usually, but with all the animals loose and Barry being on the premises we had to close them."

"Does he belong here?"

"Not for much longer. He'll be 18 in six months and then he's gone. He's practicing for his independence now. So how was your day?"

"Good. I wasn't chasing animals all day."

"That is good."

Don opened the car door for her and she got in with no signs of the playful attitude she'd had before. She buckled up without a problem and gave him a pleasant smile when he got in. "So where are we going?" she asked.

"Someplace that doesn't allow children or pets."

"Thank, God. No more talk of work tonight. You look handsome tonight. I know I didn't get a chance to tell you that. I did notice."

"You look beautiful, too. You must have set a world record getting changed. And with excellent results."

"I clean up okay."

"Do you always put yourself down?"

"I'm not. Not that I'm aware of. I just try not to take myself too seriously. Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead. I'm not sure I can answer you."

"Your wife died. Have you ever thought of getting married again?"

"I-I don't know how to answer that. For years afterward I just mourned Marge. I didn't want to put another woman through what she went through with my drinking and my job, but I haven't ruled it out completely. Why do you ask? Have you ever thought of it?"

"Yes, but I never expected to find anyone that could put up with the craziness that is my life some days. It takes alot of tolerance to deal with my kids. That's why I got them. They could be a bit of a handful and I'm prepared to deal with them. I used to be a bit of a handful myself."

"You were a foster kid?"

"Yes. So I understand how they feel. The things that make them tick and what makes them feel wanted. They need to know that they can be themselves and still be loved, even when they mess up. I let them make mistakes and then pay for them. As long as they behave themselves they can pay for them. If they hurt someone in the process then the wrath of Mom comes down on them. And I make damned good and sure that they know how displeased I am. Loud and often."

"If the Captain isn't happy, no one is happy?"

"Words to that effect. I said I wasn't going to talk about my job any more tonight,"

"That's fine. We're having a good conversation."

"Are there any women captains in the NYPD?"

"A couple of good ones. There's a new office out to the West. It's called Major Case West, headed by Captain Samantha Sackett. She's good. There was just too much for one precinct to handle so they split them off. Why do you ask?"

"Just speculation."

"I don't think you have an idle question in you. What are you thinking?"

"It's not flattering and I don't want you to think I'm aiming it at you, because I'm not."

"I'll try not to take offense."

"Alright, but it's just a raw thought. I don't think you have many people you can talk to about your job. I don't mean that you don't talk, but how can you have too many people. If you talk to your superiors, there's a good chance they'll take it the wrong way and you'll be in trouble. You can't talk to your detectives because you can't lay the burdens of your job on them for obvious reasons. And for some of the same reasons you can't talk to the other captains. It's a "I can take care of my own house and problems" type of atmosphere I'd imagine. So _who_ would _you_ talk to about your problems?"

"This is connected to the number of woman captains how?"

"Women can talk easier than men about shared problems. I'm just concerned that you don't have anyone to talk to. I'm sort of in that situation myself. You saw what can go on in my small piece of heaven. Your problems are much worse, I'd bet. I just want you to know, that I'm here to listen if you just want to talk. I won't judge and since I don't know all the players I'm a safe outlet."

"Thank you. That's the nicest thing that's happened to me today."

"So you are seriously in need of a night out, too, huh?"

Don laughed. "I guess I am."

He had given considerable thought to where they should go. He'd even asked surreptitously if anyone knew of any place nice they could go without leaving the city entirely. To his surprise, Munch had come up with a good place. It was a jazz club on the outskirts of town with a small group that played every Saturday night to a group of dedicated fans. They weren't loud and rowdy and the food was supposed to be passably decent. He'd even given Don two passes so they were allowed in if the crowd had found the place. As long as the Captain didn't let it get around that he liked Jazz. Don had promised.

"It's nice to be out and around for a change. The kids have been pretty excited lately. I'm not sure what's going on. I have a feeling I'm missing something, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is."

"Whatever it is, it seems to be gripping alot of people. We've been wildly busy at the precinct and Stabler says his kids are wound up as well."

"Maybe we should organize a 5 mile hike for the whole planet and see if that settles them down. I'm going to have to do something soon. They need an outlet. I just have to figure out what. So how is he doing on the case that Katie is mixed up in?"

"It's slow going. We really don't have any leads yet."

"Just asking. I hadn't heard anything else and I just wondered. I suppose you won't be able to tell me much when you find out anyway."

"You're right, I can't. Do you want to make a pact? I won't talk about work and you don't have to either for the entire night. It'll be just us."

"I love a man with a plan. You have a deal. What else are you planning?"

"Dinner, conversation and maybe some dancing if you feel like it."

"Did you wear your steel toed shoes."

"Did you?" he countered.

Karen laughed. "I'll be really careful of your tender tootsies. I love this car."

"I needed something that would befit my station." he said as though it really mattered what he drove.

"So no old jalopies for you?"

"Only in my spare time. Did you get your truck fixed?"

"No, it's still putzing along. I'm not sure what's wrong with it and right now I can't spare the time or the cash to get it looked at. I can drive it like it is, I just have to be careful of how I drive it."

"What's it doing?"

"Dying at corners and stop lights. Coasting in slow speeds makes it sputter and if I don't pump it quickly enough it looses power."

"That can be dangerous."

"Not so much around here, but in a big city it is. If I come in I'll have to borrow Charlenes car or I don't know. I'll figure out something. My trips to the city are pretty far apart these days."

"Except for cookie runs. They still mention those when I come in."

"I'll have to make you some and you can take them in with you. We can't have officers with a raging sweet tooth."

"It would make me a hit with them, but it would also let them know I've seen you again. Are you ready for that?"

"Don, I don't have to see them everyday. I don't have a problem with that. You're the one who needs to make that decision."

"I have to consider all the ramifications."

"I know. You'll make the right decision. I have no doubt about that. Oh, and I have a surprise for you."

"You do?"

"I do. Don't sound so amazed. It's just a little something I saw and thought of you."

"You didn't have to."

"Look at it first then tell me that if you want to."

He pulled into the place and they got out of the car. He courteously took her arm and they went inside. Don gave his name and they were shown right to their table. It was a corner booth with a small lamp in the middle. Karen slid in one side and he slid in next to her from the other side. The waitress handed them menus and left.

"This is a great little place. That's two you know. Do you collect them by any chance?"

"I just talk to people and go to places that they recommend."

"Is it because they have so many people here by themselves?"

"Sometimes. I, uh, spend a lot of my time alone. Too much some might say."

"It's tough being alone. I read somewhere once where they said 'The only acceptable excuse for being alone is wanting to be alone.' Probably some backwards philosopher who wanted an excuse to be antisocial. I have been alone too and it wasn't my fault so there."

"You are a hard case." He said.

"Nah, I'm a softy. I have authority issues. I like to be in charge of my own fate and my own destiny. And I detest people who generalize. Like the ones on the news Oh, everybody's watching this, or everybody is buying that, or looking for something else. Not usually me. I go my own way!"

"I'm in the presence of a rebel." He grinned.

"Individualist, thank you so much." She said with dignity.

"I stand corrected."

"What about you, Don? Are you a conformist or a non conformist?"

"What I am is a dancer. Want to order and dance while we wait?"

"Sounds good. Is your toe insurance paid up?"

"I'll take my chances."

The waitress came over and took their order and he led her out onto the floor. It wasn't too crowded and they had plenty of room. In spite of the jokes about toes, no one's toes were injured. Don deftly steered her away from one man who had been celebrating early and was kind of a wild man. They stayed on the outer limits on the dance floor. The man was of the opinion that he was the best dancer there.

When he began to lose partners and the restaurant was losing clientele the management came to escort him out along with the woman he was with. She was so embarrassed. Don watched them feeling bad for the woman and identifying with the man, glad it wasn't him.

Karen put a hand on his arm. "Is that how you acted?" she asked with compassion. There was no condemnation in her voice.

"No. I was a quiet drunk, as far as I know, but Marge could have been that woman. I don't want to ever go back to that again."

"As long as you are conscious of it, do you really believe you could go back to that?"

"The pull, the smell, the taste of alcohol is strong. Somedays it's a really big temptation."

"And you don't have to fight it alone. Not unless you want to. I'm right here."

"You want to be in that kind of battle?"

"No one wants a battle. But I'll tell you what? I don't back down from one. Not one with someone who means so much to me and I don't go in with the intention of losing either. No, sirree, bob."

"You come up with some of the oddest expressions. Isn't that an old western movie saying?"

"That's right, podneh."

"You trying to do a John Wayne impression is so wrong on so many levels."

Karen laughed. "Okay, dude, lets hear you do it."

" 'I'm not going to hit him, the hell I'm not.' " he said trying not to sound or feel silly.

She laughed and clapped. "Good one. I love that movie!"

"It's too bad they don't show it on television too often."

"I have it on DVD. We'll have to watch it some time. Look, the food's ready. I'm famished."

Don followed her to the table. The food was good and plentiful. Gone was his melancholy of earlier. They discussed the movie McClintock and some of his other ones until dinner was over. They sat digesting it and talking. It was a fine evening.

"I nearly forgot your present." She said digging in her purse.

"You shouldn't have."

"Are we going to go through that again?" she asked a touch impatiently.

He fell back on his training. "No, ma'am."

"Good." She held out her hand with something in it.

He extended his hand palm up and something dropped into his hand and her fingers brushed his hand. That sent a thrill up his spine more than the gift.

He pulled his hand back. It was a small key chain with a tiny flashlight on it. "It's to light your way wherever you go so you'll never get lost and you'll always know someone cares for you. I told you it was nothing. You can shake it and it'll keep going. You don't have to keep replacing the batteries."

"I like it. I'll think of you whenever I need it. Thank you."

She seemed embarrassed. He took her hand. "Are you ready to leave here?"

"Yes."

He paid the bill and they walked back outside. Night had fallen and they walked back to the car. He caught her hand again and they walked to the car. He paused outside the car and reached into his pocket and pulled out the keychain. He turned it on and shined it on their joined hands. "Remember you're not alone either." He said softly.

Her lips were warm and inviting under his. They kissed for a few minutes when headlights flashed over them and someone called out. "Get a room."

Selfconsciously, Don stood up. "This is not the place. One of these days we'll have the perfect time and place."

"Or we'll make it perfect. I guess I need to go home."

"Okay." He opened the door for her and went around to get in his side.

"Do you ever wonder if you'll be going home to an empty house and an empty bed forever?" she asked quietly.

"I used to think that. Now I'm not so sure." He squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

She smiled at him and was quiet all the way home. At her home she got out and so did he. He stood next to the car and looked at her in the glow of the outside light. "I'm glad I met you. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better."

"So come by tomorrow. You'll learn a lot about the whole place."

"Is that an invitation?"

"It is. And wear scruffies."

"I'll be here. What time?"

"We start at 8:00."

"I'll be here." He smiled. "Good night, Karen."

"Good night, Don."

He drove away and the outside light went out.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Captain Heart CH 6**

Bright and early the next morning, Don was at the gates of the house. They were open and he pulled into a space that always seemed empty next to Karens truck. He got out and Karen opened the house door for him. "Good morning, Don."

"Good morning." he said back matching her smile for smile. He walked toward her, noticing she was back in her jeans, T-Shirt and overshirt except this time she had on stout tennis shoes.

"Just in time. Have you had breakfast?"

"I usually don't eat breakfast."

"It's the most important meal of the day and we're big breakfast eaters around here. How about a cup of coffee, at least?"

"I'd love one." He got up to her and looked around before kissing her quickly.

"That's why I made sure the door was closed." Karen told him with a smile.

'A woman with a plan. I like that."

"Strategy. These kids will never let me hear the end of it if they catch me doing anything even remotely immoral after all the lectures I've given them. And I don't want to hear it."

"I'll keep that in mind." he snuck another kiss before following her into the house.

She smiled at him and opened the inside door. There were eight people in the kitchen besides Karen and Don. Barry was there looking just as sulky as the night before. Katie was sitting at the table eating from a bowl of cereal. She beamed at Don when she saw him. Everyone but Katie and Barry looked at Don. Karen walked over to the cabinet and got a cup of coffee, filled it and handed it to him. "Listen up, everyone, it's time for the morning assignments." The kids all groaned. Don grinned. They sounded so much like their adult counterparts. "Before we begin, I'd like you to meet Captain Don Cragen. He's going to be volunteering here when he can. Katie already knows him."

"You're Captain Heart, aren't you?" one of the girls asked.

"The one who asked that was BB. She has a quick mind, if only her mouth could keep up."

"Yes, I'm a police captain." Don said.

"He's not here in that capacity but that's who he is. Now, Barry you already know your assignment for today. That mess right there and then the chicken coop. BB you are taking the younger kids with pruning shears out to the back pasture and start cleaning up what you can. It's so far overgrown it's shading out the grazing. Just cut down what you can and Terry will come back out after lunch with the bigger kids and use the chainsaws to cut down the bigger stuff. You can all drag the extra branches over to the pit and get it started drying.

Molly, you and Katie can work in the garden with Charlene today because of your shoulder. Torrance, clean out the barns and get the loft cleaned out ready for the new hay, it'll be arriving next week."

"All by myself?" Torrance squeaked.

"Nope. Barry is going to help you after he's done in here." This caused a resentful look from Barry, that Karen met head on. Barry dropped his gaze immediately.

"What're you going to be doing?" BB asked with a sly look.

"I'm going to give Don the 25 cent tour and look for more things for you to do when you're done with what you have to do today."

"Keep her distracted, man." Torrance advised.

"Sorry, guys, I have a list a mile long. Torrance has been here for nearly five years. Have you ever known me not to have a list of things to do?"

"Aw, Karen." Torrance said.

"Does anyone have any questions?"

"What about those thorn trees?" BB asked.

"Take some gloves. If they're too heavy, just leave them and we'll drag them all over later. Tomorrow I want to go in there with the tractor and brush hog and mow that down. It's supposed to be warm today. Take plenty of water, sunscreen, and hats. Take breaks but not so many that you don't get anythng done."

There was a chorus of disappointed groans and Karen turned to Don. "Do you ride horses?"

"Never been on one."

"You just took all the wind out of her sales, man. Karen lives for someone to ride with." Torrance informed him.

"Quiet, you." Karen laughed at the kid. "We'll take the gator. Are you ready?" she asked Don.

"I'm ready." he said.

"Oh, sure. Take the good one." BB said.

"You don't have to take the other one. You can walk." Karen told her good naturedly.

"I'll get along alright." BB said quickly.

"Let's go before she tries to take away our boots, too."

The whole group of kids except for Barry traipsed out into the back yard and out to a large storage building. Karen pulled open the sliding doors and Don got his first look inside. The whole building was neatly sorted and organized. Chainsaws were handle side out along one wall, Sharp objects were hung above small hands reach and gloves were neatly stored in cubicles with names written on the front. There were four quad runners but two were covered with dust. One was an obvious choice with it's distinctive green and yellow paint job and the other was red and non descriptive. The two in the back were obviously not running.

The group was noisy and boisterous, but he understood their energy level. Karen was helping them make sure they had coolers full of water from a refrigerator stocked with dozens of bottles of them. "Don, can you help them get down the chainsaws. All the ones with yellow tags will work for this job." Karen asked.

"Except # 5. We started having trouble with it last week." Laslo said for the first time.

"You should have said something. I could have put it in the load to go out. Well take it out and put it in the repairs. It'll have to go next month. You'll have to be on the cleanup crew. Retag it."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you know anything about engines?" Torrance asked Don.

"I can tinker around with some things. I don't have many things to tinker with."

"We have a whole pile of things...That's great. Can I help?" Torrance stopped in mid comment and changed his tactic.

"Sure. I'd enjoy the company. We could probably get those back there running."

"Did you hear that, Karen? All four of them running." Torrance grinned.

"I heard, Torrance. Just as soon as you finish what you have to do, you can get started on it. If Don can teach you what he knows you would be a wonderful asset to any place you work. In the meantime..."

"I know, I know. Work first."

"And keep an eye on the time. Don't be late for lunch. BB, your crew especially." 

"We'll be there. Come on, guys."

In groups, the kids left and Don and Karen stared at each other. "I feel like I've been swept by the tide." Don laughed.

"They tend to make me feel like that too. Hop in and I'll give you a tour. There're things I need to show you so you'll know the whats and wherefores and whys."

"It sounds serious."

"It can be. It can get intense fast. We have fence all around the house, you saw that. We also have an invisible fence that is there for our guard dogs. We have six, actually eight, German Shepherds that have kennels around the back of the house off to the side there. Six of them are on patrol when we are under threats. They are former police dogs and I'll introduce you to them so they'll remember you're a good guy and they can be released from the house if we need to There's an electronic locking system for their pens with a back up generator. Two of the dogs are from outside breeding, but they have police training anyway. We use them also when necessary, but they both have litters right now. I'll wait until they wean to show them to you. The puppies are cute. 

We've had people try to break people out of here, people try to steal things and people who've threatened new arrivals here. We take security very seriously. I have weapons stashed around the place for backups, I'll show you where they are as well. We have a burglar alarm system that links to the local stationhouse with panic buttons all over the place. The whole place is wired. I show all the kids the panic buttons, but they don't know exactly how wired the place is.

We have a large supply of food and drink in the basement with outside access for weather and security, and the cell phones are kept on charge every night. As required by state regulations we have fire exit strategies posted and emergency lights inside as well as extra heat sources and firewood for the fireplace in case of a power outtage."

"It's a regular fortress." he joked.

"It can be. I hope to God it never has to be, but we're prepared if need be. Have you had much experience with police dogs? Handling wise?"

"Some, but it's been awhile."

"I have a list of some words posted outside the kennels that we avoid using while around these particular dogs. The kids have to memorize them before they're allowed to work with the dogs. The dogs are kept in a pen together and the new kids have to work with an older kid for at least a month before they're allowed out here on their own. Everything is a safety issue for us."

"I see that. What exactly do you want me to do here?" Don asked.

Karen pulled the gator over and smiled at him with a flirtatious smile. "Right now a kiss would be great."

"I think I can manage that." he said with a smile.

It was more than one kiss and it was a nice break in the day. Karen smiled at him after a minute. "I have to learn to control myself. You aren't here just so I can do that. But, I can't deny that it's a great idea."

"I'll see if I can't make time for that now and again." Don sat back with a satisfied smile.

Karen sped off again. The dogs were eating when they arrived and the water had been filled. Two were the traditional color associated with shepherds, one was solid black and one was silvery, the other two were solid brown. They sat on the floor of their cages looking expectantly at Karen and eyeing Don intently. "Hey, guys." Karen greeted them. The dogs got to their feet coming close to the doors to the kennel, but they didn't jump against them. "This is King and Duke, that's Cronk and Zoot, and then Mick and Turk." Two more dogs came out of the far end of the runs. These were obviously the nursing mothers. "And those two are Queen and Donna, short for Madonna."

"The kids named them?"

"They did. I let them submit names and then we vote. I get final choice though. I'm not naming one of the Moondoggie or something equally as hard to use as a command."

Don laughed. "I don't imagine they think of that when they think of names. How do you get these dogs?"

"I have a few friends who are in the canine units of the police department. If they hear of a dog that needs a home and is not suited for family life, they contact me and I bring them here. I have a network of people who are looking for dogs that they take for various reasons, but I make sure they're good people who'll take care of the dogs before they go out of here. It makes it easier for the officers to let go of them. Knowing their partners are going to be taken care of and be useful."

"Are they allowed to know where the dogs go?"

"If they want. That's one of the terms under which they take the dogs. If the former partner wants to come see them it's allowed. I don't have many that do it more than once, because it's too painful, but it has to be their decision."

"What do you charge for that service?"

"I don't. I want to do it. I'm not able to help the departments that want me to buy the dogs, but if they want to donate them, I'll do that. I don't resell them so I don't make a profit on them. Let's introduce you to them. Just stand still and let them sniff you."

Karen opened one kennel at a time and controlled the dogs with her voice. They crowded close sniffing him and she watched them closely. "Be nice." she told them. In a few minutes they left him and crowded close to her. She squatted down and hugged them and loved on them for a few minutes, talking to them in a friendly voice. They knocked her down with their exuberance and she laughed when they went for her face with huge lapping tongues. "Okay, okay, I love you guys too. Back off." she smiled and got up again, dusting off her clothes. "Inside, you guys."

She repeated this with the other two kennels and received similar treatments. Don envied her carefree attitude. He came over to stand by her when they got to the final pens with the two nursing bitches. "These I'll take out one at a time. They're more protective and I want to make sure they're okay with you. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

"Just relax. Queen, here girl."

The first female came out when called and Karen got ahold of her collar and brought her out manually. She made her sit and then approach Don. The hair on the back of her neck was ruffled. "Part of it is your smell, part of it is the other dogs on you. Queen, nice. It's okay." Queen sniffed him all over and then nudged his hand with her nose. "She wants you to pet her. She likes you." Karen said smiling.

Don tentatively stroked the dogs head and she bumped into his leg wagging her tail. He stroked her more confidently and she wiggled with pleasure. "She's a beautiful animal." he said.

"She was a show dog. When she's not nursing she has a gorgeous coat. Come on, Queen. I hear your babies."

Queen went back into the kennel and back into the building. Donna came out when Karen called. She was much more cautious about approaching Don and only sniffed him from farther back. "She's younger and hasn't been here that long. And this is her first litter. We won't push her. Nice, Donna."

Donna left Don and came over for Karens caresses, keeping one eye on Don. She was happy to go back into her kennel and her babies. "So that's our security system. Beautiful aren't they?"

"Yes. And nerve wracking."

"At first, but now they'll remember you and be able to distinguish between you and an intruder. Ready to see more?"

"Anytime you're ready."

Karen took them all over the property. She showed him all the fences and gave him clues as to how things were set up and anything he had to watch out for. They found the parties working in the pasture and the garden and Karen showed him where the rest of the animals were kept and went to visit Barry in the barn where he was unhappily working on the stalls. He gave Karen a dirty look, one she returned implacably and showed Don the horses that were also her special projects. He watched her with bemusement as she touched the horses and interacted with them as though they were kids.

"The woman is completely bonkers over her fertilizer producers." Barry said from by Dons elbow.

Don glanced over at him. He'd expected cynicism. What he didn't expect is the look of longing that Barry was giving Karens loving touch with the animals. He was envious of the attention. Barry glanced up at Don, saw he was being watched and he quickly shuttered the look on his face. "Completely nutty, the lot of them." he added and went back to work.

Don was happy that she was in love with the horses. She patted them and came back out to join him. "This whole barn will have to be filled with hay for the winter. I have a deal with a supplier. He hays off the back of this place for half the hay and we get half delivered here on his wagon. We get it unloaded and he gets the wagon back the next day. It works well for everyone, but we have to be ready to take the hay as soon as he tells us he's ready and that is any time now."

"You have connections all over the place."

"I have to. I don't have money, but I have labor. I have land and some people don't. I use what I have for what I need. I keep extremely accurate records and I even pay my taxes on the stuff. I don't want any trouble."

"That makes you an unusual person." he teased.

"Naw, I don't have the stomach for things like that. I'm a chicken. 

"Not you. I think you're alot of things, but I'd never call you chicken."

"I knew I liked you for some reason." Karen laughed to him.

"My charm?"

She gave him a sideways smile. "That too."

An air horn sounded twice. Karens head popped up at the first one, and stayed there until is was apparent that there were no more than two. She relaxed slightly. "I'm needed at the house."

"That's the signal, huh?"

"One is for a possible situation, keep an ear open for more signals. Two is for a call or a visitor at the house and I should come back. Three is come running ready for trouble."

"You should be running the government spy network."

"Not me. 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help' just doesn't fall naturally from my tongue."

Don laughed. "I don't believe you'll ever be a normal person."

"Why thank you, kind sir. I don't want to be normal. I like to live my life my own way. And if it just happens to fall under the radar that's fine with me."

They got back into the gator and headed back for the house. Karen pulled in and shut off the engine. They went around the side of the house and saw a squad car sitting in the driveway. Karen bounded inside and walked into the kitchen with a energetic stride. Two officers stood in the kitchen talking to Barry while Charlene watched. "Can I help you, officers?" she asked casually, but firmly.

"You are?" the younger of the two asked her.

"Karen Wesson, I run this facility. Is there a problem?"

"We have a report of a break in last night at the hardware store and someone said Barry here has done it before. We came to ask him about it."

"You really needed to see me first. Barry is a minor."

"I sent for you as soon as they arrived." Charlene said nervously.

"I know you did. So has he answered all your questions?" Karen asked the two officers not so subtly moving Barry back to the table.

"He did, Karen. We just need to verify his alibi." the young officer said.

"He was here all night. I have the records to prove it." Karen said firmly. "Do you want to see them?"

"We'll take your word for it, Karen."

"Hello, Deputy Strong. I didn't see you there."

The younger deputy was giving Don the evil eye. "And you are?" he asked sharply.

"Don Cragen." he said forbiddingly.

"He's helping out around here every once in a while." Karen said calmly.

"So you're saying Barry was home all night? You'd say this is court?" the youngest officer demanded of me.

"Yes. And for your information, when I told you he was here the first time I wasn't lying. I don't lie for my kids. If I didn't know I would tell you that too."

"You're his foster mother..."

"Bradley, we have the information we need. Let's go. Sorry to bother you, Karen."

"No problem, Deputy Strong. I'll see you out."

"Do you have an alibi for last night?" Bradley asked Don.

"I was in my precinct office, Officer. Manhattan Special Victims."

"Can your commanding officer verify that?"

"I don't need his verification. I am the captain and you are welcome to call the Police Commissioner and verify that while I call your chief and have a chat about the proper procedure for interogating minors." Don said with his best commanding officer voice.

Bradley flushed angrily at the dressing down. "My apologies, Captain Cragen."

"Let's go." Strong told him sharply. "My apologies, Captain Cragen, Karen. He's new and a bit headstrong. I'll speak to him about it."

"He won't make any friends or give his commander any accolades with that attitude." Don said "but we were all young once."

"I appreciate that. Good day."

Strong followed his partner out the door. "I didn't want to say anything unless you wanted to." Karen said.

"I'm not ashamed to be seen here." Don said.

"I didn't know. I wanted to sock him when he asked you for an alibi. Imagine that."

"But you knew. He didn't."

"He's a young arrogant prick. Barry, you know better than to answer questions without me here."

"He started to ask me questions. What was I going to do? If I didn't cooperate they'd take me in for questioning he said."

"He must've been talking to your neighbor." Don said. "She probably tipped him off to who lives here. He seemed to already have his mind made up."

"Yeah, I'm afraid so."

"I try to get my officers to go in with an open mind. It's not always possible. Sometimes you have to show them before they believe."

"You sound like the voice of reason."

"I've been on the disbelieving side so long I can see his side. So what kind of proof do you have?"

"I'll get it." Charlene said.

"Barry, why don't you run out and see if we have any tomatoes left?" Karen said.

"I know...oh, okay."

Charlene brought Karen a clipboard and disappeared with Barry. Karen showed Don the clipboard. "Here's how I know."

He came over to stand beside her. He was acutely aware of how close she was to him and he tried to control his impulse to get closer. Wow, he needed a cold shower. He leaned a bit closer just to look at the board and almost forgot to look.

"It-uh, it shows that every night at lights out everybody is present, and again at 11:00, we check again at 2:00 and again at 7:00 am breakfast. Every bed is checked and initialled. I had the rounds last night. I saw them, each and every one of them. Including Barry."

"And you do this every night?"

"I do or Charlene. We alternate so one of us gets a good nights sleep."

"Good system. This is hard to do."

"What's that?"

"You're going to think I'm a dirty old man."

"I promise I won't." she said with a smile.

"All I can think about is how much I want to kiss you again."

"Hmm. Dirty old man? Can I be a dirty old woman then too?"

"Do you want me to kiss you?"

"Yep, but the problem is I don't want you to stop there and I have a bunch of brush to clear today. Want to help?"

"Not nearly as much as I want to kiss you."

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

So he kissed her. Long and deep and she kissed him back. He knew it was too soon, he knew it was the wrong place and time, but he didn't care. Her lips were warm and inviting and he wanted to be there. He wanted to spend hours doing that. She pulled back just before Charlene came back in after making lots of noise.

She turned away and went to the frig. Don came over to stand by her. "You are a dangerous man, Don Cragen." she said.

"I'm sorry. I just find you irresistible. I promise to behave myself better in the future."

"And take all the fun out of it? Not on your life. I like you just the way you are."

"We have to cut this out."

"Or do something about it." Karen said, quietly.

His pulse leaped and he moved away from her. He had to put distance between them if he wanted to maintain any amount of decorum. He moved out to the yard and took several deep breaths. After a few minutes, Karen came out. "I'm sorry." she said. "That wasn't fair of me."

"No, it's okay. I just can't do that around here. And I want to. I can't believe I'm acting like this. I'm a man who's always in control, I'm a captain for Gods Sake and I'm acting like a horny teenager."

"Don, listen to me. It isn't something we have to act on. I am in control of what I'm doing. So are you. What is so wrong about what we want to do? We're not cheating on anyone, we're not doing anything to hurt anyone. As long as we're discreet I think we're okay. Unless you don't think so."

"I've known you such a short time. How can it be okay?"

"Are you sorry you came here? Do you want to leave? I'll understand. Go ahead and go, now before the rest of the group gets used to having you around and then they lose you. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Take it easy, I don't want to go. I want to stay. I want to be here. Don't you understand? I want to be here too much. This scares me. I can't remember the last time I wanted something this much. That's what bothers me."

"Ah, yes. I understand."

"You do? Care to explain it to me?"

"I will if you'll stop pacing."

Don stopped, sheepishly. He hadn't realized he was doing it. "Sorry, bad habit."

"Honesty here, okay? How long has it been since you've had sex?"

"I'm not sure." he said, but he knew it had been quite a while.

Karen nodded once. "For me it's been about four years, give or take. When's the last time you found someone who made you feel like you were special, important, someone you could talk to without judgment or holding back who you really are?"

"I... I really don't... It's been even longer than that."

"I'll tell you right now, I've never had that feeling. Not until I met you. Yes, I want to make your toes curl, and yes, it would be nice to be held and talked to on an adult level, but I'm not only a warm body. I'm a person who wants to have an emotional connection. I'm not saying marriage or happily ever after, but I connect with you like I've never connected with anyone else. I'm ready to let it ride and go wherever it takes me. Maybe you can look at it that way. I'm going back in because I smell dinner and I hear the kids. Feel free to stay or go as you need to. Either way do it because you want to not because I'm pressuring you to be here."

Karen turned on her heel and went back inside. Don stood outside for a few minutes, thinking. He wanted what she had just described, he wanted to feel like a man just like every other man, not the man always in charge and set apart. He could hear laughing inside and Karens voice floating out the window, she was teasing Laslo about something. He wanted to see that teasing, he wanted to be the one she teased, to tease her back. To be a part of the family she had created inside.

He turned on his heel and went inside for his lunch. Karens smile made him glad he decided to stay.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Captain Heart Ch 7**

After lunch, they split up again to their various tasks. Dan chose to go out with the group that would be using the chainsaw. Karen had to do paperwork. She made such a face that she got very little sympathy for it. Don felt bad for her. He knew all about paperwork. He grabbed a pair of leather gloves and set to work helping clear the pasture. There were some pretty big trees and he ended up helping the older boys with the cutting, because they were awkward on their feet. He was alarmed at their safety procedures. In short order, he was the one cutting and they were all trying to keep up with him. It felt good to see the fruits of their labors. Even Katie had come out to help and they were making an enormous pile of brush.

Don stopped to rest a moment and stretch his back. He had come so far that it was quite a hike back to the pit with the shrubbery. He had them make a second pile closer and figured they could move it later with all of them working on it. Laslo was shyly helping him clear what he could and seemed to want to talk to him, but wasn't sure how to go about it. Don made some cuts and allowed Laslo to finish them. The boy was quick and took direction well as long as there was no criticism inplied. His ego was very evident, especially when BB was near at hand. He was trying to sprout pin feathers, was a comment that came to Don in his grandmothers voice. He tried very hard not to smile when he realized that was what Laslo was doing. It was very unflattering to a young male ego.

His T-shirt was wet with sweat and his muscles were going to be sore tomorrow, but it felt good to do some physical labor. He turned off the saw and helped drag some of the largest trees to the pile. Katie was struggling with the smallest branches. She could do more, but BB kept giving her just the smallest ones. Don went over and got a bigger one before BB could do it and gave it to her. BB was surprised and Don smiled at her. "She's a strong girl."

He also made sure that BB was carrying her own weight. She was inclined to hand out the branches rather than do her share of dragging. He gave her bigger ones too than she'd been doing. She gave him a resentful look and took what he gave her. They were getting down to the last of the cut stuff when Karen drove up on the Gator. She was dressed for work including leather gloves. She pulled up close to the group and looked around. "Wow! I am impressed. Is anyone ready for a snack and some rest?" she asked.

"Yeah." was the chorus.

Don looked at his watch. It was only 2:00. He figured it was alot later than that. He came over to the Gator and accepted an ice cold bottle of water. It went down wonderfully. Karen handed him a sandwich with a wink and passed them out to everyone who wanted one. She sat down on the ground on a blanket she brought. The others gathered around it and sat down with her. Don sat down and leaned against the body of the machine. "I wish I had brought another set of clothes."

"I should have suggested it. How's it going?" she nodded toward the cleared area.

"It's going much faster than I expected. We're a real team here. Even Katie is doing a monster sized job and doing it well."

"Good. I came out to help. I can only take so much paperwork before I feel the urge to use my muscles. I brought a second saw. With two saws and two of us cutting, we can really do some damage."

"Sounds good. Did you get all your paperwork done?"

"Do you ever get it all done? I got as much done as I could stand for right now. I'm ready to do some serious damage to something. Is everyone done with their sandwiches?"

"Yeah." BB said glumly. She hadn't been a happy camper since Don had taken over the distribution of labor.

"Then, Laslo, you can hand out what else is in the cooler."

What was in the cooler was a box of ice cream sandwiches. Everyone got one and Don could not remember when he'd enjoyed a treat more. Katie ended up with a face full of chocolate and ice cream. Karen had brought a plastic bag with a wet washcloth for her face and hands. She washed the girl up and picked up her hat and gloves. "I'm going to get started. You guys can have a few more minutes before you get up. I'll get some cut for you. Don, only when you're ready."

"How come he gets special priviledges?" BB demanded.

"Because he is special. You can start as soon as you finish your sandwich. I wouldn't wait too long. The sun will help you if you don't finish it soon."

She put her hat on, pulled on her gloves. She pulled a smaller saw out of the back of the gator and gave it a couple of pulls and it started right up. She walked with a sure step over to the scrub brush and started to cut. She wasted no energy and was soon moving along at a quick pace, cutting everything in her path. One by one the kids got up and moved over to begin cleaning up the debris. Don got to his feet and picked up his saw as well. It started as well as Karens and he attacked a larger stand than the one she was working on. The two adults soon left the younger group in their wake. The brush they cut soon out stripped the second pile of brush and they had to start a third pile. Karens saw ran out of gas and she stood up stretching her back. Don saw her stretch backward and nearly tripped over some stumps when her breasts were strongly outlined under her wet shirt against the blue sky.

He hastily jerked his eyes back to where he was working so he didn't do something stupid. He hit a particularly dense tree and the saw cut out. "She has an impressive body for a woman of her age, huh?" Laslo said in a low voice.

"Excuse me?" Don demanded of the young man.

"I saw you looking. You need to make a move, man. She could use a good..." Laslo hastily swallowed the rest of the sentence when Don's cold look settled on him. "man, you know, around the house." he added, lamely.

But Don knew what he was going to say. As tired as he was, his body was attentive to that suggestion. No, he wasn't going to go there again. Not, especially, in front of the residents of the home. "I think she's doing fine."

"Yeah, she's cool. She just needs people her own age. I think Charlene will be leaving soon."

"What makes you say that?"

"She has a guy on the side. We aren't supposed to know that, but she gets all dressed up when she has the evening off and she always wears the same jewelry. I think they'll be announcing a wedding soon. Then Karen will need someone else around here. It might as well be you."

"I think that's her decision." Don said carefully.

"Sure, but I've seen how you look at her. And she looks at you the same way. You guys have the hots for each other. Don't hold back, man, you only have so many more innings before the end of the game."

Don stared at him and laughed at the baseball analogy. "Thanks for the advice. I'll take it into consideration."

Laslo looked at him like he'd lost his mind and drug away a large tree. Don headed for the Gator where Karen was standing looking back at what they'd accomplished. "I think we're done here for today. I've had enough."

"It will be here another day. I'm going to need to go back to work to rest." Don sighed. He really was tired.

"I'm sorry. Is it your shoulders?"

"Everywhere. A hot shower will feel good tonight."

"I hear you. Hey, guys, just leave what you didn't get. We'll get it later. Let's go back to the house. Does anyone want pizza for supper? I'm buying."

"Yeah." Laslo said. "I'll go get it."

"As soon as you learn to drive, get your license, and drive for four or five years without a speeding ticket or an accident, sure be glad to let you drive." she said. "I think I have enough energy to go get it while you all take a shower."

"Aw, Karen." BB said. "That'll take forever."

"So will the pizza. No one eats dinner when they smell as bad as this crew. You know that. Get aboard and lets head back to the house."

Karen drove the Gator and Don drove the other beast and they pulled up into the yard. Charlene came out of the house. "Karen, I have to leave. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. I just need to do something." she seemed excited.

Laslo gave Don a significant look and grabbed the saws out of the quads. BB grabbed the gas cans and Katie took the bar oil can and proudly lugged it to the barn. Dan put the saws away and backed both quads into the building. Karen was on the phone when they traipsed in. She had a wet washcloth and was wiping her red face down with it. "Yes, I want fourteen of them. Is there a problem with that? Yes, I'm paying cash. Karen. I'll be there in half an hour. Thank you." she hung up the phone. "Twerp."

"Problems?" he asked amused.

"Nothing time won't cure. So who's going to go with me to get it?"

"Not me. By the time we get back and get a shower it's cold." Laslo said immediately.

"I'd go but who's going to keep an eye on these guys." Don said.

"Barry, BB and Laslo can step in. They're old enough and they've done it before. I'm taking you up on that offer."

"Never volunteer, man. She's serious about taking people up on those kinds of things." Barry informed him.

"I never volunteer unless I mean it."

"Okay, Katie bug, you are responsible for setting the table. Las, you help her get the plates down, enough for everyone. Katie, you can do the silverware all by yourself. BB, supervise her shower and take one yourself. You boys know the drill and I will be checking before you eat. We'll be back in a bit. Do not let me down."

"We won't," they chorused.

Don smiled at the weary voices. Karla grabbed her purse and they left the house. "We'll take my car."

"Your seats will get all stinky."

"I'm not worried about it. Do you order pizza often?"

"We keep it for days when we've been working hard and for special occasions. With Charlene gone for the evening it's a survival technique, Can you see that bunch waiting for me to cook something for dinner?"

"No." he snorted.

"Exactly. So far as I'm concerned Pizza places are one of the greatest inventions of modern man. Much more important than the lightbulb."

"Especially if you have a house full of starving people." he added.

"Spoken like a man who's done this before."

"Pizza and Chinese Food. There are days we live on that."

Karen laughed. "Three cheers for two modern inventions."

He grinned. He grabbed her hand and they went out to his car. Karla got in and sat down with a sigh. "I'm really getting out of shape for this stuff." she said."I'm just glad they don't realize that. By the time they're over the 'I'm the most important person in the world ' stage, they've gone out on their own."

"'We need all the advantages we can get, huh?" Don agreed, settling in under the steering wheel.

"Yes. How are you? I have a days to rest up after this, you don't."

"Don't worry about me. Most of my work is mental. Physical labor feels good for a change and we could actually see some progress. That's so satisfying."

"That is so appreciated. It gives everyone fresh air, exercise and an excuse to take out their energy on something besides each other. And it's something that has to be done to keep the pasture clear. Can you put your thinking cap on?"

"Thinking cap?"

"Sorry old term. I spend too much time with the kids. Telling them that triggers the response I want. I'm looking for ideas on things to do at a picnic that they can do. I'm thinking things like the three legged race, pie eating, dizzy stick, corn husking, any ideas?"

"Egg and spoon race?"

"Good one. I need to find something that Katie has a chance of winning too. My aim is to have everyone win an event legitimately."

"How about a climbing contest? Katie is small and fast."

"Good one. I need to find something she can climb. Maybe a jungle gym and she can reach the bell first. Good idea. Now all I need is a place for her to climb. I'll have to think about that."

"How long until the picnic?"

"It's just in the early stages. I haven't set a date yet. They don't even know about it. I wanted to have the ideas all set before I said anything to them in case it didn't happen."

"Can I help? With the picnic, I mean?"

"That would be so appreciated. I was going to ask if you wanted to come. I'm hoping I can have you be a judge for some of the events. I can't be everywhere."

"Are you letting anyone in from the outside?"

"I might let some of the kids parents come if they want. It's a family thing. Do you, okay maybe I'm being presumptuous, I don't mean to be, would some of your officers like to come? It's not like we're doing anything that's exactly private. We'd have plenty of things for the kids to do, lots of food and good conversation. They could bring their kids and we'd have alot of fun."

"Stabler has four kids and some of the others have families. I'll ask them."

"I don't allow alcohol, though, and I really discourage smoking. I have such impressionable kids."

"I'll pass that along. That may cut down on the attendance, some."

"It's necessary."

"Tell me where we need to go."


	8. Chapter 8

**Captain Heart Ch 8**

"Captain, we have a lead on the woman in the bird hat." Elliott said. "There's a group of people who are doing a string of robberies of stores and homes that use women with hats with specific birds on them. Different birds mean different things. I think we're going to need Katie in here or we need to go to her to see if she can remember more about the details."

"I'll have her brought here. She's more liable to remember here than at home. Do you have any descriptions for her to look at?"

"We have the one she gave us and several others from security of stores that have been hit. There's several different women wearing them, I'm hoping she might be able to recognize the one she saw in the alley."

"It was dark. She may not. But then again she might. If the woman walked through the light back there she might have seen her. It's worth a shot."

"Get is set up. I'll call now for her to come in."

"Is that a problem, sir? We could meet her halfway..."

"Why do you ask that?" Don asked.

"I just...never mind. I'll get it set up."

Don had to admit the validity of the question. He had been sort of hiding from Karen for the past week. Yes, it was because the office had been busy, but it was also because he was having trouble with the feelings she invoked in him. Feelings he'd denied for years, feeling disloyal to Marge. Feeling like he wanted and needed more than work all day and a lonely apartment at night. Physical release he could get but it was only that. There was no emotional connection there. He wanted more, dammit, and he didn't feel he was entitled to it. He picked up the phone and called the number he knew by heart. He listened to it ring and kicked himself for all the times he'd picked it up to dial and had chickened out, hanging up at the last minute.

"Hello." she said sounding like she'd been smiling.

"Hi, its me."

"Hello, Captain." she said a bit coolly, not his name.

He felt like he'd kicked a dog. "I need you to bring Katie in. There's been a lead in the case and I need her to see if she can remember any more."

"When?"

"You tell me when you can be here."

"This afternoon. I can make it in about 3:00."

"I'll let Stabler know."

"Will you be there?"

"Yes."

"Good, Katie, will be more inclined to cooperate with you there. _She's_ been asking for you."

"Maybe we could go get something to eat afterward."

"No, Katie and I will have to get back home and get chores done. I'm interviewing people to take Charlenes place. She's getting married so her time will be taken up with her new family."

"Another time, then."

"We'll see. Is that all, Captain?"

Again the cool, impersonal tone. "Yes, that's all."

"Thank you for calling." she hung up.

Ouch, she was pissed at him. Not that he could blame her. He deserved it. He went to his doorway. "Elliott, 3:00."

Elliott gave him a nod as he was on the phone and Don went back to sit down. Olivia came knocking on the door casing. "Can I speak to you, Captain?" 

"Sure, come in."

She did closing the door behind her. "I'm not going to pry into your private life, but..."

"Then don't."

"You have been slouching around here for the last week, like you lost your puppy. I want to know if there's anything I can do to help."

"No, Olivia, there isn't. I did it myself. I deserve to take the punishment."

"What did you do?"

"Leave it alone, detective."

"Okay, I'll guess. You were all excited to go somewhere this last weekend and when you came back you were, mopey and grouchy. Now you called that woman with Katie and you're worse than ever. You were sunburned and sore Monday, but reasonably happy. Now that she's coming in, you're tense. You like her but you're still beating yourself up over Marge. Am I right?" she said.

"This is none of your business, Benson." he said more harshly than he intended.

She shrugged off the statement. "No, it probably isn't. I'll tell you one thing, Don, adult to adult. You can say you weren't the best husband you could have been, that's a personal assessment, but you were a hell of a good husband when she died and you deserve to be happy. If she makes you happy, if she makes you smile and you haven't completely blown it with her, then go for it. Don't let the past keep you from making a life for yourself with someone who you can be happy with. That's all I have to say." Olivia turned on her heel to go out.

"Like you and Elliott?" Don asked.

"We're just partners..." Olivia said.

"I didn't get to be Captain of my own squad by being stupid. Don't answer the question and I won't have to say anything else. I know, I just wanted you to know that I do. I didn't call her all week and she's a little irritated with me. Any suggestions?"

"Dinner?"

"Shot down."

"Flowers?"

"Not the type."

"Candy?"

"Too uninspired. She's more of an inspirational person."

"You'll come up with something. Think outside the box."

"Thank you, Olivia. I appreciate you coming in here."

Olivia nodded and left the office.

Don poured over ideas in his mind all afternoon. Nothing seemed quite right. It was either too conventional, too outrageous, too expensive (that would never make it with her) or just plain wrong. He was no closer to the answer when Karen and Katie came in at 2:45 than he had been earlier. He saw them come in. Karen looked good, tanned and fit. Katie wore a denim jumper with a white blouse with flowers on the color. She seemed hesitant. Elliott rose from his desk and came over to squat in front of Katie and she gave him a hesitant smile. That was nice to see. While Elliott talked to Katie, Karen's gaze came to his office and he locked gazes with her. Her gaze darkened and she looked away.

He realized the pain she felt was deep and the anger was real. He'd messed up. He'd only meant to provide himself some room to think, to put things in perspective. Instead he'd created a deep gulf between them. He should've called just to tell her he was busy and he'd call her in a few days. "What an idiot!" he said to himself.

He got up and went over to the door to his office. Katie saw him and ran by Elliott to him. "I'm sorry." Karen told Elliott.

Don picked Katie up and gave her a hug. "That's okay. I have four kids. They're older, but they used to do the same thing to me." Elliott told her with a smile.

"How are you doing, Katie Bug?" Don told the little girl.

"She says she's fine." Karen interpreted.

"How are you?" Don had to ask.

Karens eyes were hooded. "I'm fine. I'm always fine. Come on, Katie. Let's see what they need." Don tried to set her down, but Katie held onto him. "Knock it off, Kathryn Ann." Karen told her sharply.

"She's okay." Don said.

Karen glared at him. "She's getting too old for that. Get down."

Katie did, looking oddly at her guardian. She kept a hold of Dons hand though, the entire time Elliott led the way to the interview room. She got a wide eyed look on her face when she saw the things in the room. Elliott squatted next to Katie. "Can I pick you up?" he asked.

Katie shook her head and clung to Don. "I'll lift her up." he offered.

"Put her here on the chair." Karen said moving a chair around in front of the table.

Katie reluctantly stood on the chair. "We're going to step outside." Don told Elliott.

"Katie needs me here to interpret." Karen said.

"They'll be fine. Elliott, knows how to talk to her and we'll be right outside. Okay, Katie?"

Katie nodded. Don turned to Karen. "Can I speak to you outside?"

"I suppose." she responded.

He let her go out first. He stopped by the one way mirror and looked at her. "I'm sorry. It's my fault that I didn't call. Don't take it out on Katie. I screwed up. I should have called you."

"You are under no obligation to call me for anything. You came out a couple of times and helped out. You're a busy man."

"Is that all it was?"

"I thought it was more, but apparently I was wrong. It's been known to happen."

"It was more. It still is. Unless you don't want it to be."

"I don't want to play games, Don. I'm not into that waiting for someone to give me a call and they never do. That's not a game I'm willing to play."

"I'm not playing a game with you. I needed time to think, to make a decision, to sort through what I feel for you. I didn't realize that you thought I was trying to pull something. You caught me by surprise. I didn't expect to have another relationship and boom here you are. You're beautiful, and wonderful, and honest and sexy. I have a reaction to you that I haven't had since I was a teenager and I don't want that to be the sole basis for a relationship. I wouldn't do that to you. I have so much baggage and my job is a big part of things, I wanted to be sure. I wanted to come to you with a whole heart or not come at all."

"You could have told me. You could have said, you were going to be busy, dammit. Something, not just silence." she said angrily.

They got looks from the squad room. "You're right. I was an inconsiderate ass and I'm sorry. I handled it all wrong. Why didn't you call me?" he lowered his voice.

"Because this is your place of business. Because cops talk and they love to talk about the brass. Okay, I guess, I could have called and had you call me back."

"But you thought I should be the one to call."

"I thought I had let you know how I felt."

"You did. I have more baggage to carry than the usual man. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to have to bear the brunt of my bad reputation. And it is still a part of my jacket."

"Your jacket?"

"Sorry. It's a cops record. It's called a jacket."

"Well, let's see. I don't care about your bedamned reputation or your coat..."

"Jacket."

"Jacket, coat whatever you call the damned thing! I don't care. Did I ever ask you to decide for me what's right or what's wrong? Did I ever, even once, tell you that I considered you a problem? Did I ever once, in any way, shape or form, indicate to you that I thought you were an angel? No, I did not! Baggage, you want to talk baggage? What about coming equipped with a houseful of juvenile delinquents and kids with all kinds of problems, huh? Did you think of that or were you so busy thinking about your own problems that you never gave that a thought? Did it ever occur to you that you should be _talking to me?_ Well, did it?"

"No, I..." 

"Because I don't take that from anyone, buster, not you and not my kids, not anyone. You got me?" she shoved against his chest. It caught him off guard and he backed up. "Don't you ever try to pull that bullshit on me again or so help me, I'll..." She pushed him again.

He grabbed her arms and whirled her around against the wall and applied a very unapproved police procedure. He kissed her quiet. Not something he would ever approve for one of his officers. She was startled for a minute then kissed him back.

Elliott came out the door to see what the commotion was and paused. "Oh, sorry." he grinned and ducked back inside.

Don stepped back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Karen went from slightly loopy to seriously pissed in a minute. She smacked him on the chest. "Oh!" she said angrily.

"What was that for?" he asked stunned. "I said I was sorry."

She stuck her forefinger in his face. "That was for being sorry you did that." she hissed.

She stalked by him and went into the interview room. Elliott was smiling until he saw her face, and quickly wiped the grin off his face. Katie looked at her guardian apprehensively. Karen smiled at the child. "So how are we doing in here?" she asked.

"Katie was a big help. You'll need to keep an eye on her. Take some security measures."

"I will. Ready to go, Katie Bug?" Katie signed something. "No, sweetie, he's not coming with us."

"Who does she want?" Elliott asked.

"This means Captain for the epaulets and this means heart. It's her designation for your captain." Karen said disapprovingly.

Elliott was confused. She had just been kissing the man. Karen helped the girl down and told her. "Say goodbye to Detective Stabler."

To both of their surprises Katie gave him a hug. She waved as Karen led her out of the squad room and out of the building.

Olivia watched Karens stiff back as she walked out the door and turned to see her captains forbidding scowl. She went back to her work and made sure her long hair was down so Cragen couldn't see her smile. Elliott came to sit down across from his partner and gave her a curious look. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"I think our Captain just caught a bug."

"A bug? I just saw him..."

Olivia threw her pen at him. "Bitten by the love bug, El."

"Ah, that explains it."

Half an hour later, a brown paper bag came upstairs, delivered by one of the clerical staff. He took it directly to the captains office. Don seemed surprised to get it. He opened the bag, with most of the detectives surreptitiously watching him. Whatever as in the bag made him mad. He scrunched it up and slammed it to the floor and grabbed his jacket on the way out the door. "I'll be back in the morning." he said tightly and marched out of the office.

"Somebody is in trouble." Olivia said.

"I think it's him." Elliott said with a grin.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Captain Heart Ch 9**

Don did not see Karen and Katie on the way to their house. In fact, he was there before her. He pulled into the parking space he always used. BB and Laslo came out of the house. "Karen isn't back yet. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it's fine. I just need to talk to her."

"She probably doesn't want to talk to you. She was really pissed at you all week." Laslo said.

BB whacked him on the arm. "She was trashed. You hurt her, man. I don't know if she wants to talk to you. And I can't say I blame her." she declared stoutly, glaring at him.

"I'm here to talk to her about that. Have you heard from her?"

"No."

He recognized that he wasn't going to make it up to BB until he made it up to Karen. Laslo was more forgiving. "She might be having trouble with her truck. It's really been difficult lately. She has her cell phone with her, though. She'd call if she got stranded. She always does."

"This has happened before?" 

"It's an old truck, man. She needs to replace it but she won't. She says she doesn't have the money."

Don was worried. They'd left the precinct quite a while ahead of him. They should be home by now. "Give me her cell number." he said.

"We can't give it out." Laslo said.

"I'm not just anybody." Don said impatiently.

"Sorry, no can do. You aren't worth her being mad at me. You might be gone soon and I still have to stay here."

Don realized the impact of his absence on the household. Karen had warned him about the kids getting used to having him around. Apparently she wasn't the only one who had that on her mind. He didn't ask to be let into the house. He wanted to know where she was. His worry overrode his anger at the visit to the precinct. "Can you call her from the house phone?"

BB looked at Laslo. "I'll go call." she said.

After she left, Laslo gave him a level look. "I think she really cares for you. I've been here long enough to know her pretty well. She has lots of friends, but you are the only one that she's really liked in a long time. I don't think you should be here when she gets back if you don't mean to stay. She can only take so much."

"I intend to speak to her about that. Who is this?" he asked as a newer truck pulled in.

"I don't know. I've never seen it before." Laslo said uneasily.

Don was alarmed. The truck slowed way down and inched forward. He was reaching for his gun when it wheeled into Karens parking space. It was Karen in a newer truck. She got out and helped Katie out. She didn't say anything to Don. "Take the groceries and Katie inside. I got stuff for submarine sandwiches for dinner. You can put them together for her and the rest can help themselves. Save some for me."

"Okay, come on, Katie." Laslo said.

Karen helped him get the stuff out of the truck bed and waited until they went inside before she looked at him. "What do you want?"

"You to drop the attitude for one thing." he said.

"Request denied. Next?"

"Can we talk in private for a bit?"

"I don't know. We've talked before and I thought we were getting along fine, then what?"

"I didn't leave. I was busy and I didn't call but I didn't leave. You know what I do."

"Work I understand. This was not work. Never mind, I'm making a big deal out of nothing. You are free to come and go as you please. I'm not holding you to anything."

"Karen, stop. Let's go out to the backyard. Sit at the picnic table and talk. I want to make this right. I want to make you understand."

"You don't have to. I told you."

"The problem with this conversation is that you're talking but not listening. If you hear me out and don't like what I say, I'll leave and you never have to see me again." Don said strongly.

"Alright." she said dubiously.

They walked into the back yard and sat down. Karen waited for him to start. "When I left here the other night, I knew I wanted there to be more between us. But on the way home, I got to thinking about what I'd done in the past. My drinking, memory losses from binges, hangovers that were almost debilitating, broken promises, missed events in my family life. Those were things I'd done in the past. I don't want to repeat them and I don't want you to be the one hurt by them."

"Tell me something. Do you drink any more?"

"That's not the point, Karen. I'm an alcoholic. I have a high stress job and it's dangerous. I could fall off the wagon at any time. Are you prepared to deal with that?"

"Yes. I can deal with that. That's why I have these kids, remember? What I can't deal with, Don, is not knowing what's going on. I need you to talk to me not just say oh, I'm having a problem, I'll just not talk to Karen for awhile. How the hell am I supposed to know you aren't dead or worse if you don't talk to me?"

"I didn't think I had to report to you..." he said indignantly.

"Don't be an ass. That isn't what I meant and you know it."

"I'm not one of your kids. I don't report in if I'm late."

"No, you're a full grown man who's used to being the one always in charge. Who is used to keeping all the secrets, being the one where the buck stops. What you aren't is someone used to being loved and having someone worry about him. I want to have the right to love and worry about you, but I don't want it to be a one way street. I want to share with you, and have you share with me. If you have a problem, I want you to talk to me. Is that so much to ask?"

"No. It's normal to expect that. The fact is that I'm not a normal man and this is not a normal situation. There are things that I do and know and are part of that I can't share with you. Very little about my life is normal."

"Normal, hmmm? Let's see." she smiled. "Normal is two adult people who work, got it. Normal is a man and a woman who like to be together and share a meal, got it. Normal is being there for the other person if there's trouble or there's joy, working on it. Normal is people our age having grandkids, well, okay so there we're not normal, but hey nothing's perfect." Karen got up and came around to sit next to him on the bench of the table. "Normal is being able to hold someones hand and know it's welcomed. Normal is being touched and having someone touch you in return." she put a hand on his leg. "This is normal."

"Normal is accepting when someone has major faults and wanting to be with them anyway?" he asked a bit breathless turning to face her.

"Now you're talking. Would it surprise you to know that I have a terrible temper? And I can be the most stubborn, infuriating woman around? And somedays that's just how I feel? No apologies required."

"I don't think surprise is the right word." he grinned at her. "That's not exactly the same as being an alcoholic."

"True, but try telling that to the many employers who fired me because I refused to do things their way. Made some of my financial statements quite dismal, I can tell you. My point is that we are bound to clash. Any two strong personalities do. I'm preaching to the choir here, I know, but I'm willing to work it out. As long as we can communicate."

"Sometimes I wouldn't be able to tell you if a case comes up and I can't be in touch for awhile." he warned.

She grinned. "Then call here and tell me or leave me the message that you 'Need to chase the Zebra.' Then I'll know you're alright and you won't be around for a while."

"Chase the Zebra?"

"How many people do you know that own Zebras?"

"And I should tell you I'll be coming over when've I "Caught the Zebra?"

"Now, I hadn't thought of that. That's a good one."

Dons face went sober for a minute. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea. I'm still leery of what this could cost you."

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes. Trust me. Close your eyes. What do you hear?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? she asked. "Don't you hear the wind rustling the leaves?"

"Yes. And the puppies in the pens. I can heart the kids talking in the house. I can hear the animals in the barn, there's a fly buzzing around the table and I can hear you breathing."

"Can you hear your heart beating?"

'Yes."

She took his hand. "Can you hear it now? Can you feel how it increases when we're together? When we're touching?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was right there, close enough to touch and hug and kiss. And she was looking at him like she wanted him to do just that. He was tempted, so tempted.

Bang! The door to the house closed loudly. Both of them jumped. The spell was broken. Katie, BB, Laslo and Barry came out with drinks, napkins, it looked like sandwiches and chips. Everyone was carrying something. They traipsed together toward the table. "What's this?" Karen asked with a smile.

"We figured if you hadn't had supper neither had he so we brought you some. I hope it's okay." BB said.

Karen laughed. She grinned at Don. "This is definitely Not Normal."

"Darn, I thought this might be one of those normal things." he grinned back.

They ate and the kids chatted about their day for awhile. The sandwich had too much mustard and not enough onion for his taste but it was the best sandwich he'd had on a long time. Karen glanced at her watch. "Isn't it time for your programs?" she asked.

BB squealed and ran for the house with the other kids in hot pursuit. "Hey, guys." Karen shouted after them. They stopped in a group and looked back at her. "Thank you." she waved the can of cola at them. 

"You're welcome." they chorused and crowded into the doorway to get into the house first.

"They are a good bunch of kids." Don said.

"They are. I'm proud of them. They've never done anything like this before."

"You're doing a good job. You can be proud of them."

"It's a lot of responsibility." she acknowledged heavily "But the rewards are worth it. So, can we give it a try?"

"I think we can." he acknowledged.

"Do you want to stay for some bad dessert and some good conversation?"

"I want to, but I have to be to work early in the morning and I need to get home."

"Okay." Karen said resigned. "I'll walk you to your car."

"Speaking of which. You got a new truck?"

"I got tired of the damned thing breaking down every twenty miles. I'd just had enough."

Don took her hand and they went out to the vehicles. "I'll have to be on call this weekend so I won't be able to come out, but I'll call you if I can."

"I'll look forward to it."

They stopped between the truck and Dons car. "Do you think it'd be okay if I kiss you in front of them?" he asked.

"I'd say it's perfectly appropriate."

So he did. Not as much as he wanted to, not as long as he wanted and definitely not all he wanted, but it would have to do for now. He made a vow that he'd be back and soon. Karen stepped back and smiled at him. Don got into the car and left. Karen had turned and walked toward the house.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Captain Heart Ch 10**

Another call came in that had SVU on the alert. One of the women who was wearing a purple hat with a bird on it had been found raped and beaten nearly to death. Elliott and Olivia went to the hospital to interview her. Her jaw had been wired shut and she could barely see through two black eyes. Her right hand had been severely crushed so they had to give her a stylus and a PDA to text messages so she could be interviewed and it was a short interview.

They came back to the squad room and Don met them coming in. "What did you find out?"

"She says her name is Amanda Dower and she was attacked then they took her clothes and put these on her. She seems pretty desperate to prove that to us." Elliott said.

"Did she know anything about the hits?"

"She said she didn't know what we were talking about, that she was attacked and that's all she knows. She doesn't know why they attacked her." Elliott added.

"The doctors said the clothes fit pretty well if they weren't hers." Olivia said. "I wonder if she was chosen because she was the same body style and size as someone else and they attacked her to throw us off the trail."

"Where did she say she had been before she was attacked?" Munch asked, joining the discussion.

"She said she was shopping, but we didn't find any bags or evidence."

"Check her credit cards and checking account. See if you can turn up any evidence of her story. And get CSU to look around where she was found for receipts that might have been overlooked." Don said. "Was she carrying a cell phone?"

"She said no." Elliott said.

"I think there's something more to that. Most people carry one of some kind and she seemed too quick to deny it. I think there's more to it."

"Check with the cell companies for her number. And alert the other precincts about what we have so far. The color purple seems to be significant. See what comes up for that color on a search." Don said.

He went back into his office and sat down. He'd spoken at length to Karen last night because he wasn't able to make it out there. He wished he had a picture of her to keep in his desk. It might be just a bit ostentatious to have it on his desk, but he'd like to have it in his drawer out of casual view. He had a few days off coming next weekend and he thought he'd like to spend it out there. If Karen didn't have plans for the time. It was hard to tell. He'd call her tomorrow night.

His phone rang. "Cragen."

"Wesson." she said.

"I was just thinking about you." he said quietly.

"Can you talk a minute?"

"For a minute."

"I wish you were coming out tonight."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing except you being way in there. The kids have been a bit difficult today. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"How's your interviews going?"

"Can you say sucks? None of them are all that great. I realize I'm not paying much, but come on. I'm not rolling in dough. And the ones the kids have seen they don't like. They want Charlene back, but I can't ask her. She's got her hands full. Ah, it'll all turn out. The reason I called was something I heard on the radio about a woman who was attacked wearing a purple hat with a bird on it. Is that something I need to worry about?"

"We're checking into it. I'm keeping my eyes open. You're letting the dogs out at night, aren't you?"

"I'm letting them all out. Even the two mommas and I've gotten some motion detector lights I'm going to put up around the house. BB said she saw someone who keeps going by kind of slow, but she thinks it might be Mrs. Sloan down the road who always gets a new car and does that. I haven't seen it, but why would anyone connect us with that?"

"Did you call the local police?"

"Yeah, but they didn't take me seriously I don't think. I didn't tell them about our connection to your investigation. I didn't know if I should."

"Do you want me to call them?"

"No. I don't want them to ignore me unless you call them. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned. That was the second time she'd said that.

"Yeah, why?"

"You just don't sound like yourself."

"Strange mood, strange woman." she laughed, but it sounded tired too. "I need to let you go. I know you're working and I'll need to start supper soon. Are you going to be able to come out this weekend? We're going to bob for apples and have a checkers tournament. Katie has gotten to be quite the little checkers player."

"I was going to talk to you about that."

"You can't come?"

There was dismay in her voice. He had to smile. She wanted to see him as badly as he wanted to come out. "I was thinking I might spend my couple of days off out there with you. Unless there's some reason you don't want me to..."

"Bite your tongue. Would you like to spend the nights here? Charlenes room is still empty. You could sleep there. If-if you're okay with that I mean. The offer is open."

"I'd like that. Unless you think it might set a bad example for the kids."

"Pah. By the time they're asleep you could set off a bomb and they'd never know."

"I'll plan on that then. I'm not pressuring you for anything."

"I'm not planning on giving anything away until the time is right." she said. "If there's anything else you'll call me right?"

"You know I will."

"Hey, you know something? You can call me even if there isn't anything new. I enjoy hearing from you. Do you have a favorite food?"

"No, not really. Why?"

"I thought I'd make you something special for dinner Saturday night."

"I like most foods."

"Then you'll just have to be surprised won't you. I promise it will be special."

"Don't go out of your way on my account."

"I intend to do just that. Get over it." she laughed. "I feel like cooking and I want to surprise you. Please?"

"Okay. Can I bring anything?"

"A healthy appetite and your handsome smile?"

He smiled. "Alright. As long as you let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Oh, for petes sake, something just crashed and I hear crying. I'll see you later. Love you." she hung up before the comment could sink in.

Love you? It had just slipped out, but was she aware of it? She hadn't ever said it before, but both of them had been very careful to dance around that word. He didn't think it was all an off hand comment. He realized he was standing there holding a dead receiver and hung it up selfconsciously, glad no one saw it. He sat down and tried to concentrate on the paperwork that seemed to congregate and proliferate on his desk. It was all a jumbled blur and he tried the corral the smile that kept creeping onto his face. 'Come on Don. It might have been an off hand comment.' But he knew it wasn't. It had slipped out and now it couldn't be taken back.

He let the grin out. What day was it? Only Tuesday? How in the world was he going to be able to last until the weekend? Come on October 4th. That was Thursday. That was three days away! It was a good thing he had alot of self control and a lot of cold water. Oh, heavenly day he was in trouble.

There was a scuffle in the squad room. He went out to see what was going on. A young mother was attacking the man she was screaming had attacked her and tried to steal her baby. Munch was trying to shield the man from the woman, while Fin was attempting to grasp the baby from the woman so it didn't get hurt. Elliott grabbed the woman and pulled her away from the perp getting kicked in the process. He grunted in pain and swung her away from the activity. Olivia was in there with her one arm trying to calm the woman down.

Don watched to see if they needed help. It didn't appear so. He turned back to his office, the phone was ringing again. "Cragen."

"I'm trying to reach Elliott Stabler."

"He's busy at the moment. I'm Captain Cragen. I can give him a message."

"This is Lt. Menes. There's been another hit on the list he's been working on. A witness this time. They seem to be stepping up the intensity. I'd advise you to put all your witnesses into protective custody. They aren't leaving anyone alive. How many do you have?"

"Send me the information you have and I'll have Stabler get ahold of you." Don said. To the best of his knowledge there was no Lt. Menes in the NYPD.

The caller hung up and Cragen dialed IT immediately. "The call I just got, I want it traced. I just hung up. I don't know. He said he was Lt. Menes. Find out who it was." He heard the commotion cease in the outter office. "Benson, Stabler, in my office."

They showed up almost immediately. "You called?" Elliott asked.

"Do you know a Lt. Menes?"

"Menes? No, why?"

Don explained what was going on. "I don't think he was on the up and up. You need to go talk to that woman at the hospital again. I don't want her to be one of the dead ones."

"We're on the way."

He went back in and dialled Karen again. "Hello."

"Hi, it's me. Can you put the dogs out now? There's trouble with the case. I'd like to send a couple of cops out to stay there."

"No, Don. We'll be fine now that I've been alerted."

"I don't know. I'd really feel better if I can send out a couple of armed officers."

"I'll get out my gun. Don, I don't want the kids scared by a bunch of armed strangers. I'll keep a close eye on things."

"Karen, I..."

"Case closed, Don. If you calll let it ring once hang up and dial again. I'll know it's you. Otherwise I won't answer. Do you have any other ideas for me?"

"The officers." he said.

"I'd rather not. The only officer I want here is you."

"Please, don't be stubborn. This is for Katie as well. Think of her."

"I am. We'll be fine until you get here or the situation is resolved."

"You aren't listening to me, these people are dangerous. I wish you'd let me send someone out..."

"No. You aren't listening to me. No one will be threatening Katie. I'm a pretty damned good shot. I have to go make preparations. I'll talk to you soon."

He didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until she hung up. She didn't say it again. Why didn't he say it? He wasn't some awkward teenager. But then he wanted to say it in person for the first time. He sat down on his chair and picked up his pen. His phone rang again and he picked it up. "Cragen."

"I'm sorry. I know you were offering what you thought was a good idea, but I can't handle more of people I don't know. I know each of the kids and what they'll do, but I don't know officers and I can't plan on anything with them around. Thank you for being worried about us. I love you."

"I love you too. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"We'll be really careful. Come as soon as you can."

"I will."

She hung up this time and there was no return call. He went back to work. Then he had an idea. He called Karens house and Laslo picked up the phone. "Hello."

"Laslo, it's Don Cragen. Give me Charlenes phone number."

"I don't know it. Only Karen does."

"What about her last name?"

"Rhodes."

"Laslo, who is it? I told you not to answer the phone." Karen said in the background.

"Tell her it's a sales call and hang up." Don advised and hurriedly hung up. "Fin." he called.

Fin was there in a minute. Don wrote down the information on Charlene that he could remember and handed it to him. "Get me anything on her that you can."

"She a suspect, Captain?"

"Just find out anything on her you can."

Truth be told he wasn't worried about Charlene but he was worried about Karen and the kids and he was going to get ahold of Charlene and ask her to go stay with them for a few hours. The more adults that were there the better for Katie. That made it police business, didn't it? It was a grey area. He had a little concern about using the police connections for the information, but Karen and Katie were the closest things he had to a family. Fin came in a few minutes later. "She's clean as far as I can tell. Not even a parking ticket, just one shoplifting charge when she was a young woman. Here's her information. Want me to go out and talk to her?"

"No, I'll handle it. Thanks."

Fin nodded and left his office. Dan read the information noted the phone number and threw the rest in the shredder. It was not something he wanted to leave laying around the office. He dialed the number and listened to it ring.

"Hello." A womans voice answered.

"Charlene Rhodes, please."

"One moment. May I say who's calling?

"Captain Don Cragen, Manhattan Special Victims Unit."

"Charlene, come quick. It's the police." the woman went into hysterics in the blink of an eye. "It's Sally, I know it's Sally. Something's happen to her. Oh, no, not my baby. Not my baby."

"Hello."

"Charlene?"

"Yes?"

"This is Don Cragen. Nothing has happened. I didn't mean to get something started. Tell her I'm not calling about anyone named Sally."

"Mom, Mom! Calm down. He's not calling about Sally."

"Then why is he calling, getting the whole place in an uproar..." there were more words to that effect, but the sound became muted.

"I'm sorry, Captain. My mother has... never mind. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling about Karen and Katie."

"Has something happened to them?"

"No, not yet. I was hoping I could persuade you to go over for a few hours. Karen is not having an easy time replacing you and she needs some relief. I can't go and she could use someone else around right now. I'll understand if you can't stay long, but just for..."

"I'd be happy to go over and stay. I been meaning to talk to her about maybe working for her part time anyway. I-I'm not... things are not what I thought they'd be and I miss them something fierce, but she said I should make a clean break of it. She was trying to make it easy on me."

"If you could go over there, that would be great."

"I'll go right now. I'll call her first."

"She said to let it ring once, hang up and call again." Don said.

"She's in alarm mode? Why? Is it Laslo's father?"

"No, it's the thing with Katie. I told her to be extra careful."

"I'll go over. Thank you for calling."

Elliott came over tothe door. "We weren't able to get any more out of the woman in the hospital. She's dead. Katie is the only one left. I want to go out and put her into protective custody."

"Do it, but expect resistance. I wanted to put a couple of uniforms out to Karen's and she said no. If she's the last one, I want her in custody."

"It's for her own good."

"That hasn't worked for me so far." Don said. "See what you can do."

"I'll protect her." Elliott said firmly.'

Don hoped so for his own sake as well as Katies and Karens.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Captain Heart Ch 11**

Elliott slowed and stopped at the gates to Karens place. They were closed and eight full sized German Shepherds with full sized teeth charged over to bark at him and they weren't kidding. He tooted his horn, there was no response from the house. Another car pulled up behind him and a young woman got out. She came over to his door and he rolled the window down. "Can I help you?" they asked at the same time.

Elliott showed her his badge. She gave it a thorough going over. "Captain Wilson sent you?"

"Captain Cragen." he said.

She nodded satisfied. He was pleased to note that she had challenged him. She walked over to a post hidden in the trees and pushed a button. "It's Charlene and a Detective Stabler. Call the dogs and let us in please." she gave him a small smile as she went back to her vehicle.

The dogs turned and bounded away and the gates opened. An older boy stood feeding the dogs until the gates shut again then he sent them away with a wave of his hand. The dogs watched Elliott from their vantage point on the lawn, the boy gave them a command with another wave of his hand and they scattered. He cautiously exited the car but they didn't return. Karen stepped out, saw who it was and handed her pump shotgun to Laslo. She came down the small hill to greet Elliott. "Hello, Elliott. Good to see you. Charlene, what're you doing here?"

"Captain Cragen sent me." they both said again at the same time. Charlene laughed and Elliott grinned.

Karen rolled her eyes. "Why am I not surprised. Come in, let's get this straightened out."

"You are expecting trouble." Elliott said, unnecessarily.

"Captain Cragen called." Karen said. "I'm going to have to speak to that man."

"I hope so." Elliott said, giving it a double meaning.

The kids were in the kitchen when the adults stepped in. It seemed to be the center of the home. They looked wide eyed at Elliott in his suit with his badge and his gun. They clustered around Charlene and she gave them hugs and kisses. Katie came over to Elliott and touched his hand. He smiled down at her. "Hi, Katie."

She signed something. He looked to Karen to translate. "She wants to know if you're here to shoot the bad people who are after her." Charlene was the one who did that.

Elliott sat down on a chair and told Katie and the others. "I don't shoot people just because I have a gun. I'm here to protect you and arrest someone, I don't just shoot people. Guns are just part of my job. I get people before they need a gun."

Katie signed again. Her eyes were serious. "Have you ever shot anyone?" Charlene asked.

Elliott looked at Karen. "Tell her the truth, Detective Stabler. We always tell the truth here." she advised.

"I have. But only very bad people. I don't shoot good people."

"How do you know who is who?" Katie asked through Charlene.

"That is his job, and he had to go through lots of school to learn that. That's why we don't play with guns. They are not toys and kids your age only need to play with toys. Enough information, curious Katie. Did everyone make their beds this morning? Then you need to go do that now." Karen deftly changed the subject.

Katie signed something and ran off into the bedroom. "She says she hopes you don't get hurt." Karen told him.

"I'll go in with them." Charlene said looking from one adult to the other.

"I don't plan on it and I don't want you or anyone here to get hurt either. You have to let me put you into protective custody, Karen. You don't know what these people are capable of."

"Murder? I think I got that, Elliott. Do you think those dogs out there are just for fun? Do you think I won't shoot someone to protect Katie? Think again, detective. No one is going to get to Katie."

"How many killers have you dodged? These people are professionals and they have nothing to lose. They won't bat an eye about taking out you and your whole house here. They have already killed several people. Katie is the last one alive who has seen them and I want to keep her and you that way."

"Then stay here or send someone else here. We are safer here where people know us and we know them than anywhere else I know. I'm not leaving here."

"I could arrest you. Place you involuntarily into protective custody and Katie too."

"Are you going to?"

"If I have to."

"So part of your police strategy is to intimidate people into doing what you think they should? Is this something you've talked over with Don or shall I call him?" She went nose to nose with him.

"Damn it, I'm doing this for your own good! Can't you see that?"

"Can't you see that trying to force me out of here could cause more harm than good?"

"No, I can't control access to you here. There's too many access points."

"That right there is the problem, Elliott. You can't control. That's the crux of the whole matter."

"Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Because I'm not convinced that we'll be safer somewhere else. You want us to be safe where you're comfortable and I want us to be safe where we're comfortable. What are we going to do about it? I'm willing to compromise, but I'm not just giving my safety over to you because you want me to."

"I could arrest you for endangering a child. I could hold you on that until this matter is settled."

"You already threatened to arrest me once. And you know what kind of trouble that would cause me on down the line? Are you willing to do that just to prove your point?"

"No. But you have to be reasonable."

"Be reasonable, do it my way? Would you just hand over the safety of any one of your kids to just anyone when you were sure you could protect them better yourself?"

"You can't. I'm trained for this. I've been a cop for..."

"A long time. I got that, Elliott. But I know this place inside and out. I can defend it."

"Let's call the Captain. Will you agree to abide by his decision?"

"No. I'm not under his command, I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions. You can call him if you like."

"Dammit." Elliott slammed his hand on the table.

"If you were one of my children you'd be told to watch your language and take a time out. I'm still asking you to watch your language." Karen told him sharply.

"I'm sorry, but you're not listening to me. This is serious. This is not just an idle threat."

"And you're assuming that I'm not taking it seriously. I am. Deadly serious."

"I think you ought to listen to him, Karen. I can stay with the others." Charlene said coming back into the kitchen alone.

"What about Tony?"

"I think I need some space from him. It doesn't matter right now. What matters is keeping you and Katie safe."

"But that's..."

"Karen, you always say that it's what the kids need that determines what we do. Katie needs to be somewhere safe and so do you. Go. We'll be fine, but I have a question for you, Detective. How will you keep those killers from coming to look here for them and killing everyone just to be on the safe side?"

Elliott paused for only a moment. "We can leak the information to the press that she's been moved into protective custody at an unknown location. They might look here, but I doubt they'd do anything else. Just keep the security precautions up."

Karen threw him a bitter look and turned away. "I'm going to call Don. Excuse me."

She went into her quarters and picked up the phone. She punched the numbers up. "Cragen."

"Wesson."

"I've been expecting your call. How are you?"

"Furious. Scared, but not stupid, I hope. _ Your detective _seems to think we'd be better off in the wide world than here where we know what we're doing. Do you agree?"

"In this case, yes, I have to agree. I know you don't want to go, it's natural, but it's for your own safety and hers. Do you honestly think I'd put you in greater danger than you are now?"

"No, I just think your cop mentality and his have kicked into overdrive and I'm not comfortable being kept prisoner somewhere."

"You aren't going to be a prisoner and it's only for a few days. This case will wrap up very soon and then you can go home. And Katie will be safe as well. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, I just don't trust the world at large. They're a selfish bunch."

Don forced a chuckle, more for her sake than for any real humor. "Let Elliott bring you back here and we'll find somewhere safe for you that we can agree on, okay?"

"So we get to stay here?"

"Nice try. Will you do that? Pack somethings for a few days and whatever else you need we can buy. Please."

"You're just lucky, I like you so well in a suit. Alright. We'll see you in a bit."

"I'll look forward to it."

"For your sake, I hope you say the same thing after this is over." she warned.

Karen walked out into the kitchen, looking unhappy. Elliott knew right away. "What can I help you get?"

"Down, big fella, we have to pack a few things first." Karen said sharply. "And I have to calm down before I tell Katie. She knows I'm not a happy camper about this."

"It's really for the best." Elliott said.

"You made your point. Now drop it! Charlene, nothing has appreciably changed since you left. I'm guessing I won't be doing much calling so you're on your own. I never took you off any of the accounts so use what you need to and you know what bills have to be paid and when. We're taking clothes and some of Katies books and her medicine. We'll be back as soon as we can."

"I know."

Karen turned on her heel and went into Katies room, packed her clothes and had the girl take it out to Elliott. She went into her own quarters and packed what she needed and took that out to the kitchen as well. In short order she was in the car with Elliott and they were on the way back to Manhattan in protective custody. One Detective, one hearing impaired girl and one very unhappy woman. Oh, joy.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Katie was comfortable in the squad room. She greeted most of the detectives with a smile and a wave and seemed particularly taken with Munch. She really liked Olivia, but Fin still made her uneasy so he toned down his exuberant personality for her. She started to run to Don, but Karen restrained her. "He's at work, sweetie. You can greet him that way off duty, but he's working now. Just give him a hug and that's all."

Katie nodded, but snuck a kiss onto his cheek anyway, eyes twinkling. Don smiled at her gentle disobedience. "I don't think one little kiss will hurt anything." he told a disapproving Karen, closing the office door.

"It's not that. It's jealousy. I want the same priviledge, but not here." she admitted. "And Katie has to obey when she's told to. Her safety could depend on it."

Don moved over to stand next to Karen with his back to the squad so his lips couldn't be read. Ostensibly they were watching Katie explore his office, but he said softly. "What I want to give you is not just one little kiss, either. I'm glad you're here. I know you don't want to be, but it really is the best thing."

"I already told Stabler to drop it. I'm here. I don't need to be reminded of why. So what now? I've never been forcefully relocated before."

"I was hoping you wouldn't look at it that way. Look at it like a well deserved vacation."

"Who's going to be our jail, uh, companions on this _vacation_?"

"I'll put some of the female officers with you for most of the day, but I thought I might give you a more experienced officer for the night time hours."

"Who?"

"Me."

"You? You're coming to a hotel with us for the night times?"

"I, uh, with your permission of course, thought that you might want to come stay with me for the duration. It's easily defensible and alot more comfortable than a hotel. Only if you think you'd be comfortable it."

"How many bedrooms do you have?"

"Just one. You and Katie could have that one and I could take the couch."

"I couldn't do that to you."

"I'd have to anyway. That's where the guard is."

"Then, I accept your kind invitation. If you have food I can make us meals. I think that'll help Katie feel more at home."

"I'll bring stuff in if I need to. Make me a list."

"This makes me uncomfortable."

"I know that. I'm doing everything I can to make it easier on you. Please let me protect you."

"I'm here, aren't I? I sure wish I could get a hug from you. I could use one."

"I think we can do that."

"You'll have your detectives talking."

"I'm the captain. If I want to hug a beautiful woman, it's my perogative." He put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. She laid her head on his shoulder briefly and sighed heavily. "It's going to be okay, Karen. I promise we'll do everything we can to make it go as easy as possible."

"Okay."

"Now, here is a key to my apartment. Make yourself as comfortable as possible."

"How are you going to get in?"

"That's for you. Don't worry about me. It'll be nice to come home to someone there."

"I know that feeling. Hey, Katie Bug. We need to get going. So who has the first shift?"

Katie came back to the two separated adults and looked up at them. Her eyes were curious. She gestured over to the shelves behind Dons desk. "What did you see?" Don asked.

Katie took his hand and led him over to the shelves. She pointed up. He lifted her up so she could put her hand on the books. She touched a book and he pulled it out. It was a book with baseball statistics. "You like baseball?" he asked. She nodded enthusiastically at him.

He pulled out the book. "Here, why don't you take it with you and you can look at it."

"Don, she might make a mess with it." Karen warned.

Katie shook her head vigorously. She held the book closely to her chest. "It's okay. I know Katie will be careful and it's a good book. We can look at it together when I come home, okay?" Don said. He set the girl down. "I'm going to have Olivia take you to my place and get you set up. She can brief the officer who's going to be guarding you. Karen, call me if anything happens that makes you uneasy. I have books around the place and there's cable tv so you won't be too bored. We'll get you things to do if you need it. I plan on coming back about 6:00."

"Alright. Let's go, Katie. We'll see him later tonight."

Don opened the door to his office and gestured for Olivia to come over. "Take these ladies and get them settled in, will you?"

"Sure, Captain." Olivia came over. "What have you got?" she smiled at Katie. Shyly Katie showed her the book. "I like baseball too." she said and smiled at Karen who gave her a reserved smile back. "We'll be fine, Captain."

Karen picked up the bags and followed Olivia and Katie out of the squad room. "We'll get these people, sir. Count on it." Munch told him quietly. "I'll stand guard too until they're safe."

"Thanks, John. Am I that obvious?"

Munch looked at him over his glasses. "I am a detective and a romantic. I think both of them have found their way into your heart. That's nice to see. Gives the rest of us hope." he returned quietly.

Olivia understood Karens need to be independent and yet she had to agree with Cragen and her partner that they needed to be in protective custody. Katie was solemn eyed and quiet. She had never been in a police car before. Olivia smiled at the girl, who smiled tentatively back. Olivia had been in the Captains home once before. She opened the door with the key Karen had and made sure the door was locked and the two stayed by the door before she walked around and made sure they were alone before she relaxed.

"It's safe."

"Are you going to have to do that everywhere we go?" Karen asked nervously.

"I'm afraid so. We have to go over some rules for this. But those can wait until we get you settled in." she saw how nervous her charges were. "The bedroom is in there next to the bathroom. Kitchen in there. Katie, want to see what's on tv?"

Katie nodded, looking at Karen for her take on the situation. Karen nodded and went to get the remote. "Look at that. You get to choose whatever channel you want to see all by yourself. You don't have to fight with anyone else. Won't that be nice?" Katie signed something. "Me too, sweetie, but it's just for a while. We'll be home again soon. You want to watch that? Are you sure? Okay, but don't expect me to do that."

Katie giggled.

"Is she missing her friends?" Olivia guessed.

"Brothers and sisters, yes. I encourage them to call themselves that. It gives them the feeling of being in a real family."

"That's nice. You love them all very much. I wish more families could do that. There are so many kids who need loving homes."

"I wish I could take more of them in. By law, I'm only allowed so many because I'm only one person. My assistant, Charlene, just got married and she's moved out but she's staying at my place until this mess is over. Then I'll find someone to fill in permanently and one of my kids, Barry, is aging out so I'll be getting a new kid. I'm going to see if I can get someone closer to Katies age. She doesn't have alot of kids to play with."

"Can you pick kids ages?"

"I can tell them what I'd prefer, but sometimes I fall sucker for some kid who really needs my services. That's how I came to get Katie. Sometimes kids just call to me? I'm not sure if that's the perfect term, but I just know when I can help them or I need to at least meet them. That's how I got all my kids. I just needed to have them. I can't explain it."

"How many kids can you have?"

"I can have four if I have an assistant. That's why I need to find another full time assistant, that and someone can be there while someone else does errands or works someplace else."

"Ah."

"You've never had experience with the foster care system?"

"No, I was almost in it, my mom was single and she used to drink, but she always managed to stay with me somehow."

"That's good. Barry was a heroine addicted seven year old when he came to me. They thought he might be forever diminished mentally so I got him. I put him on a strictly natural diet, took most of the additives out of our food supply and he began to show improvement. I still watch him, because he does have some residual problems with anger management so I guide him as much as his male ego allows. BB, she's one of my older kids, too, she came to me because her mother was a prostitute and she was trying to sell BB to one of her johns who was an undercover cop. Her father is a complete mystery. She thought drugs and prostitution was a way of life and tried to follow in her mothers footsteps so she tried to proposition her social worker. No one wanted her so she came to live with me. And Laslo folks were drug addicts and didn't send him to school until he was seven and that was because the authorities made them send him then they took him away from them anyway. He was really angry at first, until Katie came along."

"What's Katies story?"

"Katies mother is dead. Her father is an abusive psychopath who cut her tongue off. I think he was hoping she'd bleed to death. The neighbor heard her screaming and called the police. He'd also sliced up her face. He was in prison for years, until he died of Aids. So she's mine for life, or until she decides to leave. I'm going to adopt her someday. I'd like to do it soon, but I have to see what goes on with this stuff."

"They're all special kids. You don't have any of your own?"

"No. I'm just a different person. I march to my own beat. I change tunes just a little bit every time I get a new kid. There's a new melody, a new line, a new instrument that we add to the tune. Sometimes it's an instant harmony, sometimes it's complete discord."

"And sometimes it's an instrument that just doesn't fit well in that band?" Olivia asked smiling.

"Exactly." Karen laughed. "You're good at this."

"It comes from my job. Putting puzzles together. Are you hungry? I could call out for something."

"I'm going to see what he's hiding here in the way of food first. I need something to do to keep my hands busy."

Olivia went over to the window to look outside. She heard Karen moving around the kitchen looking around and she heard Katies television program. She went into the bedroom and checked the windows. They were securely locked. She looked at the fire escape and wished it was somewhere else, but it had to comply with safety codes. She went back out to the kitchen. Karen was cooking some kind of meat in a frying pan and had a large kitchen knife slicing up vegies. "I see you found food."

"Some. Do you like stir fry?"

"You don't have to make anything for me." Olivia said.

"Don't be silly. There's enough. Besides I'm not sure I can cook for just Katie and I. I'm used to cooking for a whole crew."

"You could save some for the captain."

"There's plenty for him too." She deftly chopped up more vegies and stirred the meat in rapid order. She went into the frig and got some seasonings out and deftly added them to the pan. "Katie, come set the table please." Katie came out and signed. "I don't know, cutie. Look for them. Make sure you set a plate for Olivia, please."

Katie found the plates and put out four. She got out silverware and glasses and pointed to the table looking at Olivia questioningly.

"She wants to know if that's okay." Karen translated.

"It looks good to me."

"Why don't you find something we can use for a centerpiece or you can make one. I think I saw some paper in the desk."

Katie went to the desk and set about making something with paper and a stapler. Olivia watched her. Katie grew frustrated when the paper wouldn't cooperate. It was too big. Olivia went to help the girl. She took out a pair of scissors and clipped where Katie indicated. It was a cow or something of a sort. "That's nice, Katie. I like that. What is it?"

Katie signed something. "I don't know what your saying, sweetie." Olivia said.

Katie signed it again, and a third time. She grew frustrated, signing it a fourth time with exaggerated movements. "Katie, slow down! What did you make?" Karen called from the kitchen.

Katie signed it for Karen. "It's a pig, we're having pork. Very good, sweetie. Don't get so angry. Olivia doesn't sign. Not everyone does and you know it."

Katie looked contrite and threw her arms around Olivias neck, startling the woman. She instinctively hugged her. "It's okay. I'm not mad." she told Katie.

"Say, Katie, can you show Olivia how to say her name?"

Katie did. "The O twice is a capital for the first letter of your name and down on the chin indicates that you're a woman. If it were up by your forehead it would mean you're a male." Karen translated the signs.

A key in the door lock alerted Olivia, who immediately went on alert. "It's me." Don said easing the door open.

"Don." Karen said with a relieved smile.

Katie rocketed over to him and he scooped her up in his arms and gave her a hug. "Hello, little rocket girl." he told her and she giggled giving him a hug around his neck.

"Evening, sir. Everything is fine." Olivia said formally.

"Good. I expected it would with you here. Hello, Karen."

"Don."

"I'll leave now, if you don't mind." the female detective said.

"You don't have to rush off, Olivia." Cragen said. "You can stay and eat, can't you?"

"I'd like to, but I have some paperwork left unfinished at the office."

"Will I be seeing you tomorrow, Olivia?" Karen came over and spoke to her.

"I don't know."

"I have a couple of female officers that will be rotating the duty, Karen. Olivia, you need to know this. We're going to be going to after the people who've done this, we have enough to really go after them and it's going to get serious in a hurry. We have to put these people out of business. Karen, as much as I don't like to say this, you are going to have to stay here in the apartment out of sight most of the time. I'll bring things in here if you need anything, but I'm also putting a guard in the hall and having hourly patrols outside."

Katie's eyes went as wide as Karens but her face wasn't as pale as Karens. She leaned toward Karen who took the girl and went over to sit at the table. Olivia exchanged looks with Cragen who gestured with a jerk of his head that she should leave. She nodded and left the apartment.

Don went over to sit in a chair face to face with Karen. "I didn't want to do it this way. I'd give my life if there was any way to protect you that we aren't already doing. The fact of the matter is, we need you nearby for Katie to identify the woman she saw and to testify at the trial. I promise you, I promise you, I will be right here as much as I can and you will have the best protection NYPD can offer. I don't want to lose you. Do you trust me?"

Karen nodded and so did Katie. Don could read the panic and fear still in their eyes. "How... Any idea how long this is going to take?" Karen asked.

"No, it could be hours or days. We'll go as fast as we can, but we have to do it right or risk them getting off and still coming after you. I wish with all my heart it could be different, but it has to be that way. Something smells good. Maybe a good meal will help." He indicated Katie.

Katie shook her head. Karen took the hint. "You're right. A good hot dinner will help us all." Katie signed and Don didn't need Karens interpretation of it to know what she said. Karen turned the girl so she was looking at her. "Katie, listen to me. Captain Cragen is on the job. He won't let anything happen to us and he has a whole bunch of police to help him. We can't let him down, now can we? We have to do our part too and keep our strength up by eating and being ready when he's counting on us. We're safe here or we wouldn't be here. I trust him and you can trust him too. Do you understand me? Yes, I'm scared too, but you've been a brave girl up to now and you still are. We'll be just fine as long as we are careful. Let's eat dinner and we can watch some more tv, okay? Yes, he'll be here all night. Go get the centerpiece you made and lets have dinner."

Katie got down and went to get her pig. Karen put her hand on Dons knee in a terrified grip. He took it in both of his. "I'm right here. They'll have to get through me and a whole squad before they even get close to you." he said softly.

She nodded and let go when Katie came back. "Can you guess what this is?" she asked Don.

"Wow, Katie. That's great. Is it a whale?" he teased.

Karen got up and went over to the frig. She put her head inside the appliance, far more than she needed to with the light on to see what was inside. She came back a minute later with some juice. It was all he had except water to drink. She didn't meet Dons eyes. He knew what he'd see there and he couldn't blame her. She was trying to hide her fear from Katie. She dished up a plate for Katie and gave Don some and took some for herself. It was good, but no one had an appetite. Don had Katie giggling over dinner while he gave some wild guesses as to what the centerpiece was. He guessed a unicorn, a bear, a fish, an alien, a Tribble (that got a smile from Karen but Katie didn't get the reference), a turtle, and even a robot. He finally gave up and let Katie spell it out for him.

"Well, sure, now I see it. What a silly man I am, huh?"

Katie nodded still smiling. "So if everyone is done, Katie, why don't you and Don go see what's on tv while I put this away and I'll be right in."

"I'll help you." Don said.

"No, it'll only take me a minute and I'll be in. I don't need any help."

Don nodded and helped her by stacking the dishes and went into sit with Katie on the couch. He chose the end where he'd be able to face the door and see Karen in the kitchen. He took off his gun and set it on the table beside him so Katie could sit next to him. He watched Karen moving around the kitchen. She did more than put the food away, but he knew she needed to feel in control of her surroundings. She did run out of things to do and came in to the sitting area. Katie scooted over closer to Don so Karen sat on the other side of her. She felt safe that way. Karen sat down. "Katie, you wanted to watch this again? You have that at home."

Katie shrugged. She knew she was getting away with it this time because of the circumstances. "Tomorrow, sweetie, you and I are going to go back to your school work. Don't give me that face. Just because you're not at home, doesn't mean you can get out of doing your work."

"She's in school?"

"We work on things at home. She does spelling and math and we read and write stories. And we work on our signing."

Katie frowned and folded her arms belligerently. Her defiance didn't last long. She sagged slowly more and more until she was sound asleep against Don. Karen looked down at her with a sad face. "She's been through so much already in her life."

"I'm trying to keep her safe." Don told her in a gentle voice.

"I know. If I didn't trust you I wouldn't be here. I need to get her to bed."

"Let me carry her." Don offered.

"No, you'll need to stay out here to guard the door."

"I can hear it from here. Let me help, Karen."

"Okay."

She got up and watched him holster his gun and pick Katie up. He made her inert weight look so light. She led the way into the room and he laid her down on the bed. Karen pulled off her shoes and socks and slid her under the covers. "She'll be alright in her clothes for tonight."

They stood up and moved back toward the door. Don turned off the light in the room and the light from the doorway shined on Katies peacefully sleeping face. Don put his hands on Karen's shoulders. She glanced up at him and leaned back against his chest. He slid his arms around her waist and put his face against the side of her head. "We'll leave the door open so we can keep an eye on her." he whispered.

She nodded and followed him out to the living room. He thought she might sit down but she didn't. She moved restlessly about the small, by the standards of her place, apartment touching things and rubbing her arms repeatedly. He recognized her unease. He moved over to intercept her circuit and caught her gaze. "I would really like to give you a hug. If you think it would be okay."

"I would really like a hug if you think it'd be okay." Karen said nearly breaking down in tears.

Don pulled her into his arms and held her close to him. There weren't words to help so he just held her close. She clutched at his shirt shuddering with emotion, but she didn't cry. He wished he could do something to ease her fear, that she would cry. She didn't. He released her when she stepped back. "I'm sorry. I'm being such a wimp."

"No, you're not. If I were being totally honest, I'd have to admit that I like having you here. Not for this reason, but I want to be with you. I spent the whole afternoon wishing the clock would hurry up so I could come here to be with you. What have you done to me?"

"Nothing."

He smiled at her. "I think you crawled into my heart when I wasn't looking. I like having you there. You and Katie both. After this is over, I want to talk to you about this."

"Okay. I think I need to go to bed."

"Good idea."

Karen looked at him. "Can I say I wish it were you and I in the bed instead of Katie and me?"

"Not if you want me to get any sleep tonight." he admitted with a smile.

"Good night, Don." she said and reached up to kiss his cheek.

He turned into the kiss and pulled her heavily against him while he plundered her mouth. Not accepted police procedure while on duty, but he couldn't help himself and he wouldn't have stopped himself even if he could. She gave him back kiss for kiss until he lifted his head. "This is not a good idea. You should go to bed. Just do one thing for me will you?"

Karen smiled at him. "What's that?"

He tucked her hands behind her back. "Think of me tonight."

"I'll do that."

"One more thing?"

"What's that?"

"After you get ready for bed, leave the door open. That way I can see that window too."

"Oh, so you're going to watch me sleep?"

"I want to do more than that, but for tonight I need to watch the window."

"Aw, you just ruined my plans." she teased with a wink.

"Stop that. You know I want to be there. Just bide your time. I promise I'll be there as soon as I can." he said huskily.

She nodded, sobering. "I know, and I know what trouble we're in. I'll try to restrain myself. You just make sure you get some sleep too."

"I will. Good night, darling." it was the first time he'd called her that.

She flashed him a smile. "Good night, love."

She was as good as her word opening the door to the bedroom so he could see that window as well. Every time he checked through the night his eyes went to the window first then strayed to the figures under the blanket. It was a quiet night except for their dreams.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Captain Heart Ch 13**

Karen was up early, closed the bedroom door and got dressed. Don was dozing on the couch when she went by. He woke up at her slightest noise, saw it was her and tried to get up. "Rest. I'll make some coffee." she told him. "Everything is fine."

"I should check anyway." he said.

"I did. Relax."

He sat up anyway, and she went into the kitchen. She made coffee and looked for anything to make for breakfast. There was some toaster pastries but that was about all. She made a face and grabbed a coffee cup, letting the coffee fall into his cup insstead of the pot, and put some hot water on for her tea. Don had fallen back asleep when she went into the living room. She set the coffee on the table next to his head and sat down to watch the smell do it's job. He looked so young with his eyes closed. She took a sip of her tea deliberately slurping the liquid.

Don jerked awake ready for action and Karen pretended not to notice his disorientation. "Good morning." she smiled at him. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine." he said.

"Liar." she accused with a smile. "You couldn't have gotten much sleep. You were awake every hour or so all night long."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I heard you checking everything."

"I'm sorry. I tried to be quiet."

"You were, I'm just not used to being here and I listen for noises in the night for the kids, so I just marked your movements. I didn't do it on purpose, it just happened that way. You can't keep doing this, you know? You'll wear yourself out."

"It's just until I know you and Katie are safe. I'll be okay."

"If you say so." she said doubtfully. "I didn't know how you like your coffee so it's just black."

"That's how I take it. It smells good."

"Let me know if it's too strong or too weak."

"How do you take yours?" he took a careful sip.

"I don't drink coffee. I have tea in the morning and soft drinks the rest of the day."

He closed his eyes and savored the taste. "This is excellent. It's just right."

"You're just saying that because the spoon stood up in it this morning." she grinned at him.

He opened one eye and grinned back. "Do you always wake up this cheerful?"

"Only on special mornings. Like, oh, nearly everyday, yeah. Should I apologize?"

"No. I'm not usually a morning person."

"Hence the spoon assaulting coffee. First it stands up then it melts into the bottom. I zip it in the liquid and back out."

Don groaned, teasing, at the comments. "Too much humor for this early."

Karen smiled. "I have an amazing amount of energy early in the day, later it goes way down. You know, there is something I missed this morning, though."

"What's that?" he asked and to be absolutely fair he wasn't awake enough to be thinking clearly.

She set her tea down and came over to kneel on the couch next to him "This." she leaned over and kissed him good morning.

He wasn't fully awake but he knew what to do with a willing woman in his arms. He pulled her over onto his lap and kissed her with every intention of never letting her go again. She slid her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. It had been too long for either one of them since they'd had a chance to feel the connection that existed between them. He moved his lips against hers and she opened her mouth slightly. He moved into hers with his tongue and she welcomed him. He put a hand behind her head to hold her while he plundered her mouth with is tongue. She surrendered completely to him.

He came to his senses when he heard with a jolt a key in the door of his apartment. He practically threw her off him and reached for his gun, knowing he had done something incredibly stupid and let his guard down. He also knew that he couldn't let it happen again and that if it were one of his officers, he'd have their heads on a platter. All this flashed thhrough his mind as his door opened and it was Olivia with another officer. Karen was on the floor and pretended to look under the table. "I don't see it. I'll have Katie look for it later. She has good eyesight." she said.

Olivia wasn't fooled. She turned to the other officer and covered for her captain. "Katie is the little girls name."

Karen got up and took both her teacup and Dons to the kitchen. "Olivia, would you like some coffee?" she asked in passing.

"Yes, please."

Luckily for Don his arousal had taken care of itself and he rose from the couch. "Is it that time already?" he asked casually turning away from the accusation he thought he saw in Olivias eyes. It was more self contempt than anything. He'd only wanted to protect Karen and Katie and had nearly endangered them instead. This couldn't happen again and he was going to have to be the one to explain it to Karen. She was going to be very unhappy with him and angry too and she had a right to be.

He went into the kitchen where Karen was pouring him more coffee and making a second cup for Olivia. "I'm sorry. I messed up." he told her softly.

"It's okay. I wanted it too."

"It's not okay. It could have been anyone and I was so...so wrapped up in you that...I put you and Katie in danger because I couldn't control myself. If it were one of my officers, I'd be having their heads right now."

"I understand." Karen said, but she wasn't looking at him.

"Karen, look at me." he told her half a command, and half a plea.

She did and looked away again immediately. "It was my fault. I knew you had a job to do and I was interfering with it. I put her at risk just as much as you did. It won't happen again. We're going back to my place today."

"No."

"Captain?" Olivia asked coming into the kitchen and caught both her Captain and Karen talking, standing close together.

Cragen looked at her and moved away from Karen. "She wants to go back to her home today. That won't be necessary. I'll stay at a hotel until this is over. You'll be in charge of her protection and the scheduling of it." Don said. "I'm not capable of doing what has to be done in this case. I-I'm too close to it." he said, knowing he was hurting Karen with every word he said.

"I'll take care of it." Olivia said understanding the dynamics far too well.

"I'll get Katie up so you can get your things." Karen said moving into the other room.

"She doesn't understand." Olivia said.

"I can't explain it to her. There isn't time and I'm not sure she'd listen to me right now." Don said sadly.

"She'll settle down. She seems like a sensible, level headed woman. This has got to be unsettling for her. Once she calms down she'll come to appreciate what you're doing for her." Olivia said.

"I hope so." he said.

Karen came back in. "I'm going to give Katie a bath and get her dressed for the day. Please get whatever you need and leave before she gets out. I don't want her more upset than she already is." she said without looking at Don.

"I don't think she'd be upset by seeing the captain." Olivia said seeing how those words affected her captain.

"I'm not taking any chances either." Karen said sharply.

"It's okay. She's right." Don told Olivia. "I'll get my things and shower at the stationhouse."

Karen disappeared back into the bedroom. Olivia was indignant on Dons behalf. "That was totally uncalled for. It's not like you're deliberately trying to hurt her."

"Leave it alone, Olivia. She and I are going to have a nice long talk when this is over. I'll see you at the house."

Don went into his bedroom and got his clothes out of the closet and the drawers and threw them in a suitcase. He carried it out and set it by the door. He looked around the small apartment for anything he forgot and nodded once to his detective and left the place. It was a painful reminder of how it felt when he'd moved out of his house after Marges death for the last time. He wasn't going to give up on Karen, no matter what she thought. He headed to his car and his stationhouse. He wanted this overwith and he was going to bust some balls if he had to to make it happen.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Captain Heart Ch 14**

Once there, Don showered and dressed and got himself a huge cup of coffee then went into the squad room and leaped on everyone's back. "Get these, son of a bitches. All leaves and days off are cancelled until these bastards are caught." he announced glaring around at the whole lot of them.

They industriously turned to their jobs and he moved from desk to desk getting what information they were working on. Once he'd made his circuit he turned to his office and picked up his phone. He got his messages and began returning phone calls. He idly noted when Olivia appeared back in the room. During one of his calls he noticed his message light had come back on. He finished his call. He hit the button to call up his voice mail. "You can move back into your place now. Leave a message at my house when you need her to come in and testify. I'm chasing the Zebra." Karens voice said.

Alarm shot through him. He pushed the button again to hear the message again. It replayed the same as before. That was all, no personal greeting, nothing else. "Benson!" he bellowed.

Olivia came at once. "Captain?"

Don played the message for her, glaring at her the entire time. "She's gone home. Take your partner and bring them in, handcuff her if you have to." he barked.

"Captain?" Olivia said startled.

"Okay, no handcuffs, but I want her in custody! We're going to sit on her if we have to, literally. Don't come back until you have her with you."

"We'll get her, sir. Don't worry."

He felt like growling. He wanted to call Charlene and warn her to have Karen and Katies bags packed but he figured if he did she'd be entrenched in her fortified house by the time they got there. He paced to his office door and glared out at the activity in the room and returned to his desk. He wanted to do something, he wanted to fix something. His phone rang. "Cragen."

"She's not here, Captain." Stabler said. "Charlene doesn't know where she is. She says she's hasn't heard a word from them. We checked the whole place, but there's no sign of her."

Don swore, loudly and creatively. Where else could she be? "Did you check any friends she has or the local hotels? She won't go far from home."

"That's the next step, sir. We don't have any names to go on. Did she mention anyone to you?"

"No. Only Charlene. Check out the town. She's driving a new truck, it's a metallic maroon Chevy."

"Will do. I'll let you know as soon as I know something."

Don hung up and called Munch in. "Get her vehicle plate number from DMV and put out an APB for it, then call it in to Stabler. Karen and Katie are in the wind. They're to be apprehended but not arrested."

"Yes, sir." Munch hurried back to his desk.

Don dialled Karens home number and Charlene answered. "Karen?"

"It's Don. Did she contact you, Charlene? You know I'm not trying to harm her. I just need to protect her."

"I swear to you I haven't. I told your detectives the same thing. I'm not lying. I want her safe just as much as you do."

"Where else could she have gone?"

"It's hard to say. She's protecting Katie so she could do most anything. She doesn't think like the rest of us so it's hard to tell what she's doing. She's going to be in this area somewhere, and she'll be checking her cell for your messages even if she's not answering it. Otherwise she wouldn't know when to come in. Katie is safe, I can guarantee that, but I don't know where."

"Keep your eyes open. These killers don't know where they are either. They might come looking at your place for them."

"I'll be careful. Don, I'm worried about them, too."

He hung up the phone and wanted something to hit in the worst way. Or something to drink. His phone rang again. He didn't recognize the number. "Cragen."

"We're fine. Don't worry about us." Karen said without preamble.

"Karen, thank God. Where are you? You have the whole department up in arms."

"Find the killers then."

Don was trying to get the attention of one of his squad. "I'm trying, but I'm wasting valuable manpower trying to protect you. Why did you run?"

"The why is obvious. And this is a prepaid phone, so you can't track it, but just in case you can, I'm going to hang up. Leave a message on my cell when you "Catch the Zebra. I'll see you then. Enjoy your bed. It's nice."

She hung up. "Karen!." he called futilely. Now he used his most proliferate language. "Fin, get the techs on the line. She's monitoring her cell. I want someone one with it _at all times _so we can trace the signal."

"She didn't use it to call in?"

"She said it was a prepaid. Check her credit cards and see if she purchased one and call the companies to see if she registered it in her name. It's a long shot, but we have to try. Charlene says she'll be in this area. She hates crowds, doesn't have many friends, we need to see if she has made any cash withdrawals." He dialled this detectives number.

"Benson."

"It's Cragen. I just heard from her, but no location. Check with people she knows from the home and places she might go in connection with her business. She makes friends easily, but they aren't close, so you might get lucky that way."

"Are we sure we need to bring her in, Captain? If she's this good at hiding from us, wouldn't we be better off letting the local police find her while we hunt for the killers?"

"Do you really believe the locals will care if it's a protective custody or an arrest warrant? Keep looking, we have people here working on the rest."

"Yes, sir."

"He says keep looking." Olivia told Elliott.

"This is like looking for a needle in a haystack, someone elses haystack." Elliott said glumly.

"Then we need to think like her. She has only limited funds, a very visible truck, a young girl who doesn't talk well and people who are looking for you. Where would you go?"

"Where there is alot of people or way out where there isn't many." Elliott said. "With a hungry child and it's getting toward meal time, I'm going to bet we're going to be looking at a grocery store or McDonalds."

"Let's go find a place to watch it." Olivia suggested. "If she's not a crowd type of person she might go there to hide. She can get Katie food and still be safe."

Elliott took off from the house and turned back toward town. They passed a strip mall with a few cars in the lot. And a red metallic Chevy truck. Elliott whipped in and pulled up behind the truck. "What's her plate number?"

"That's her truck." Olivia said checking her notebook.

They got out and Olivia checked the hood of it. "It's still pretty warm so she can't be far. I'm going to call the Captain. I think we should start checking for restaurants nearby." Elliott said. "Captain, we have her truck. We're going to check the local stores now."

In the meantime things were happening with amazing swiftness at Special Victims. By checking for Karen and Katie, Fin had followed a hunch and sent out a call to the local police asking about women with the particular hats and found that one had been spotted and reported in that area. He told them what was going on and beat feet for Dons office. "Captain, someone is there looking for them. I just talked to the locals and they have a sighting there. I think we need to roll out there in force."

"I'm going. Call them back and tell them we're coming out there in force and I want as many officers from here as we can spare."

"I'll be right with you."

Don called Elliott and Olivia and updated them as he headed for the door. Fin, Munch and four other detectives were right behind him, including the woman who had been on guard when Karen left. She nodded at him and he was tempted to send her back, but she looked at him and he wanted to give her a chance to redeem herself. He nodded once and led the way. She knew who Karen and Katie were, which at least gave her a leg up on some of the others.

He was going to find Karen and Katie, find these killers than he was going to have a long, long talk with Miss Karen and they were going to get a few thngs straight! He was the first one out of the garage. There was more than one person who was surprised at how fast he drove. Most of them just knew who she was, they didn't know his history with the woman.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Captain Heart Ch 15**

Don talked to the local sheriff when they arrived and received his cooperation. He knew Karen and her kids. He was not as excited about her as Don thought he could have been but then Don could see his point. He did say that she was a ferocious protector of her kids and he had to admire her willingness to protect them and work with his office if they'd done something wrong. And he mentioned that she kept him up to date on problems she might have with the relatives of the kids.

Don nodded. That was an aspect he didn't see too often in his own job. Karen was around here somewhere and he was going to find her. He met up with Elliott and Olivia at Karens truck. "We've canvassed the area, but no signs of her. She's either not here or she's very good at hiding." Elliott said.

Don stood looking around. There was a laundromat, a restaurant, a bank, the library, a tattoo parlor, a video store, a gas station and several churches. None of them were where he thought Karen would take Katie. "What else is in the surrounding area?" Don asked.

"Houses. It's just a small town." Elliott said.

"Get started canvassing them. She's here somewhere." He picked up his cell phone and dialled her number. "Karen, it's Don. Pick up. I'm here by your truck."

She didn't and he hung up. On a whim he told Olivia. "Come with me."

She fell in step beside him. "You have an idea?"

"Call it a hunch." he said. They waited for traffic to pass and he marched for the door to the tattoo parlor. Olivia looked at him like he'd lost his mind. He was sure he knew where she was. He opened the door with a bell on and it rang. "Hello." he called.

A man came out. He was not a big fan of his own work apparently because he was completely free of visible tattoos. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Karen and Katie." Don said.

"I don't know any Karen or a Katie either." the man said.

Don knew he was lying. It wasn't something he could put his finger on, he just knew. The words the man spoke were denials, but they were said in a everyone could hear him kind of voice. Just the way he said them was a dead giveaway. "I'd really like to talk to them. See, the people who are after them are here in town and I just want to protect them. I want them to come back with me so I can protect them."

"I told you, I don't know any..." the man began again.

His story was denied straight away when Katie bolted out from behind the counter and ran straight to Don. He scooped her up and gave her a hug. "Hey, Katie Bug. How are you?" he said. Katie just smiled and hugged him again.

The man behind the counter looked abashed and worried. "Hey, Katie, remember me? Why didn't you and I go outside and let the Captain talk to Karen." Olivia said. "Elliott and Munch are here too."

Katie looked like she wanted to say no, but Don set her down and told her. "Go with Olivia, honey. We'll be out in a few minutes."

"No!" Karen said coming out from behind the counter. "She's staying here with me."

"Take her outside. Can you excuse us please?" Don told the man.

"Go ahead, Katie. I see Elliott out there too. Why don't you go say hi." Karen told the girl. After they left and so did the man from the shop she glared at Don. "You had no right to do that, Don! Katie is not your responsibility."

"Responsibility? Don't even start with me on responsibility. Do you know how much danger you and Katie are in? Obviously you don't or you wouldn't have run off without a word."

"I didn't just run off. And don't take that tone with me! I'm not one of your officers and I'm not a child. I didn't trust the officer that I got stuck with and I figured we'd be better off moving around where I know where I'm going and they do not. It was my judgement call. You may not agree with that, but that wasn't your call."

"You didn't trust me to protect you."

"Trust you, yes. The teenager, no."

"You could have called me. I'd have sent someone else."

"No. I did what I thought best. Get mad all you want, it's done." She folded her arms and returned his glare.

"We are going to have to discuss this again. Right now we have to get Katie somewhere..." Gun fire and squealing tires rent the air. Don grabbed Karen and pulled her down on the floor. "Stay there." he said. He heard a crash.

"Katie!" Karen cried.

"She's with Stabler and Benson. I'm going out there, you stay here. I mean it."

Don moved cautiously toward the front of the store. He saw Stabler coming toward a crashed car, gun ready. Olivia had Katie in her arms, shielded from the car with her body. "Katie?!" Karen demanded from the floor.

"She's fine as far as I can tell. Stay here." He pointed to her. He eased out the door and checked to see if the coast was clear. He opened the door and called to her. "Come out, but stay with me or so help me I'll put you in handcuffs."

"We'll discuss that later, too." she told him darkly, but she stayed with him.

People were starting to come out of their hiding places. They were congesting the the parking lot. Elliott kept telling them to stay back. Don and Karen moved quickly over to them and Don called Fin and Munch in to keep back the crowd. Karen went immediately to Katie who wrapped herself around her like a little monkey. "Is she okay?" she asked Olivia. "Are you?"

"We're fine, aren't we, Katie?" Olivia said but her eyes expressed to Karen the anger she wouldn't express in front of Katie.

Karen stood her ground and gave her gaze for gaze. "What happened?"

"They came after Katie. She shouldn't be here, she should be in the apartment where she was safe."

"You're so sure she was safe?" Karen shot back.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Elliott came back from inspecting the car. He was in a towering rage and it was aimed directly at Karen. "You could have gotten yourself, Katie, my partner, the Captain, everyone killed because you broke protective custody. You're just damned lucky no one got hurt!"

"Yeah, lucky. Luck favors the prepared, Detective. I was ready to leave and would have been out of here already if you and your partner hadn't blocked my access to my wheels. Chew on that awhile. None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried to play God with our lives."

she shouted back at him.

"That's enough." Don got between the two of them. "We'll hash this out back at the house. Karen, I want Katie to come see the woman in the car. We need to know if she's the one who she saw in that alley."

"No."

"Karen, she looks like she's sleeping. I need to know if she's the one or we still have to keep an eye open. We'll limit the amount she sees, but we need to do this. You know I'm not asking you to be mean. I need to know and I need to know now."

"Come here, Katie." Karen said. She pried Katie off her. She sat the girl on the hood of her truck. "Did you understand what Don was saying? The woman is dead, but I need you to look at her. See if you can tell whether or not she's the same woman. Can you do that?" she said. Katies eyes went wide. She nodded. "Do you want Don to take you over?" Katie shook her head and reached for Karen again.

"No, now stop that. You're safe and I'm going to go with you, but you need to not grab so tight. Lead on." Karen picked the girl up and turned to Don.

Don took them over to the crashed car, carefully keeping his body between Katie and the most of the bloody windshield. "Watch the glass." he told Karen.

Katie peaked curiously over at the wreck. Careful not to move the body, Don showed her the womans face. Katie ducked back into Karens neck. "Is it the same woman?" Karen asked her. She nodded into her neck. "Katie, look again. Just once more to make sure." Katie shook her head.

"Katie, can you do it for me?" Don asked.

Katie shook her head. "I'll bet you can. Come here." Don said. He pried Katie off Karen. "Look at me, just at me, okay?" Katie did. "She is dead, but I need you to look at her and tell me for sure it's the woman. You can do this. I'm right here and so is Karen, no one is going to hurt you. She looks like she's sleeping, doesn't she?" he said conversationally.

Katie took her cue from him and peered cautiously at the woman. "Is it her?" Don asked. She didn't pull back immediately but studied the woman intently for a minute then nodded firmly. She signed something.

Karen translated. "She says she's never seen her without a hat before, but it's her. You've never seen her without a hat before? You've seen her then?"

Katie nodded a curled against Don away from Karens anger. "You've seen her again? Where?" Don asked the girl.

"At the big store." Karen translated Katies answer. "She means the stores at the mall."

"Alright. Let's get you guys somewhere else so this mess can be cleaned up. Then we need to talk, young lady. I'm going to send you back to your place with Stabler and Benson."

"No."

"Yes. And you're going to go with them, or I'm going to have Katie taken into temporary custody and put somewhere where she'll be safe until this whole mess is cleaned up. I'm serious, Karen, don't test me on this, you will lose."

"Fine." Karen stepped away with Katie in her arms and walked back to her truck. She opened the door and set Katie in the seat. "Get the bags."

Katie got the bags and handed them to her. She pulled them out and helped her out again. She locked the truck and went back to two detectives. She dropped the bags on the ground with a hard thump almost directly on Elliotts feet. He glared at her and she glared back. It was an explosive moment. Two strong personalities about to butt heads. "You nearly broke my foot." he said.

"If I'd wanted to, I would have." she replied hotly.

"The captain says we should take them back to her place." Olivia said. She was mad at Karen as well, but not nearly as mad as Elliott.

"Yep, treat me like an idiot one minute and a piece of furniture the next."

"Act like an idiot one minute and be treated like a piece of furniture the next." Elliott said sharply.

"Yep, can't handle the people so you treat them like meat. Nice job, officer." Karen taunted.

"Enough, you two." Olivia said. "Katie, let's put the two children in the car." she told the girl, who giggled, stopping when she looked at Karens face. 

Karen put Katie in the car, buckled her in and crawled in beside her. She buckled up and sat without looking at anyone. Elliott threw their bags in the trunk and got into drivers seat. Anger was nearly palpable in the car. Wisely Olivia said nothing. Elliott also drove in silence for a few minutes. "So why did run?" he asked Karen. She ignored him. "No good reason, huh? Just thought you knew better than the police?"

"Elliott, leave it alone." Olivia advised.

"She nearly got all of us killed with her attitude. I want to know why?" he said harshly.

"It's the captains job to find that out. You know that." she told him softly.

Karen and Katie were having a discussion in the back seat in sign language. "Stop that!" Elliott said sharply to them in the mirror. "That is so rude."

Karen gave him a hooded look, guaranteed to piss him off. "He's right, Katie, it's rude." she said out loud and made a few gestured a few more times and put her hands in her lap, looking out the window.

If steam could come out of someone's ears, they would have come out of Elliotts. Katie patted Karens arm and made a gesture. Karen returned a sign. The exchange was brief. "Is everything okay?" Olivia asked.

"She has to use the bathroom. I told her we would be home soon."

"You couldn't have said that out loud?" Elliott demanded of the woman.

"Nope."

Elliotts jaw clenched again and Olivia sighed. She was going to have to keep these two separated. She caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. Katie made a gesture. Karen lightly tapped her hand in admonishment. Katie made another gesture, but Karen replied in kind and grabbed both her hands and shook her head, firmly.

"What did she say?" Olivia asked.

"She was being impertinent. I told her not to say that."

"What did she say?" Elliott asked.

"She said you should shut up and not make me mad." Karen snapped at him. "Happy now?"

"Look you, I don't care who you are..." he began.

Karen turned to the window. She was not even listening, it was a deliberate snub. She was trying to antagonize Elliott.

For that Olivia was angry with the woman. She knew what kind of man her partner was and this was not acceptable behavior for an adult.

Elliott pulled into the driveway of Karens home. He stopped the car at the closed gates and turned to look at Karen. She stared back at him. "Aren't you going to open the gates?" he demanded.

"With what? This is a police car. Aren't the door handles disconnected from inside? How am I supposed to get out? Magic?" she demanded.

Elliott flushed angrily. Olivia got out and opened Karens door. "You need to stop baiting him." she said softly.

"Why, because he's a man, a cop or a bully?" Karen demanded and went around to the control panel. She put a code in and lifted her chin when the gates opened and marched in front of the car up the driveway.

Olivia had to admire her gumption even as she admired her partners restraint in not running her down. Judging by the way his hands were flexing on the steering wheel, the idea had occurred to him. The female detective couldn't say she would have shown the same restraint. Elliott wheeled into a parking space and Karen was getting Katie out of the car before he had the engine off.

Charlene came pouring out of the house and gave Karen and Katie huge hugs. She was babbling but Karen wasn't answering in kind. She took Katie inside. "I'll go with her." Olivia told Elliott.

Charlene came over to Elliott. "Is everything okay?"

"That depends on your definition of okay." he grumbled getting the stuff out of the trunk.

"Karen at her best, I take it?" Charlene asked.

Elliott stared at her. "She's like this alot?"

"No, only when her back is up. Like now. She has authority issues. You may have had a clue to that." Charlene said tongue in cheek.

Elliott snorted in derision and looked over to see Charlene smiling. He gave her a small smile and a chuckle. "How do you put up with her?" He asked.

Charlene shrugged. "I guess because she cares. She has her faults, many of them, but she always does what she thinks is right, even if it isn't. It royally ticks people off and she's lost more than one argument over it, but she does have her heart in the right place. I take her with a bucket of salt and let it blow over. Right now you'll want to kill her I'd imagine."

"Maybe not that far." he admitted.

"I've had that argument with myself more than once, but she'll calm down and go back to being reasonable. The fastest way to get her riled is to attempt to force her to do anything. Let her think something is her idea and she'll go with it. She taught me that."

"She did?"

"Well, it was with some of the kids, but it works well on her as well. That's why she has the kids that she has. She can dig her heels in and hang on with the best of them. Barry and Katie are proof of that. Please, Elliott, give her a chance to cool down. I can guarantee you won't regret it."

"She's lucky to have an assistant like you."

"I know it and so does she. I've learned a thing or two about stubbornness around her. I'll take those."

"I'll get them. You've been with her how long?"

"Seven years. I came to her right out of high school. She needed a babysitter and I needed a job. I spent more and more time here and then moved into the extra room. Because of her I'm going to be going to college in the fall for my degree in social work. I want to do what she does but in a different way."

"Good for you. We need more people to help people who can't help themselves."

The two of them entered the house. The kitchen was empty. "Where's your partner?" Charlene asked looking around.

"The captain ordered her to stay with Karen and Katie until we get the all clear. He doesn't want her to get away again."

"He still doesn't know her." Charlene shook her head. "If he did he'd know it isn't necessary, but it'll have to be between them to figure that out."

"She's safe here?"

"Think about it. These problems started when you guys decided she needed to leave here. I knew that was going to happen."

"And they give her kids to raise?" he teased.

"We have a waiting list for kids to get in here. Karen is considered one of the most desireable foster care mothers of her group. She will flatly deny it, but I've talked to the social workers who ask us for just a month or two for some kids. I've even had them ask if they could send us more help or could we bring in some people to see what it is that we do that others don't. I've had to tell them no. You can't do what she does and teach it. It's who she is. This place would be like any other if it weren't for her."

"And you."

"I try, but I don't have her touch. Someday maybe. Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you. So where would they be?"

"In Karens quarters. She'll be getting changed and dressed and coming back out here as long as your partner is with her. She doesn't like people in her place unless she invites them. That is her private place."

Sure enough. It wasn't long before the three females came back out of the locked room. Katie was smiling at Olivia, who smiled back at her, and looked at Charlene. Karen's expression was closed off, neutral almost. She didn't speak to anyone. She went and got something to drink and went into the living room to sit down. She clicked on the television. Charlene knew what that meant but neither of the others did. She didn't usually watch it only when she was greatly disturbed.

Katie went into the room and sat on the couch next to Karen. The woman spoke softly to the girl and smiled at whatever the answer was. Olivia came over to stand next to her partner. "She's alot like you. Getting along with you is easier, but you've given me alot of training at it. I just can't seem to get her to understand we're guarding her against outside forces not trying to cage her in. The difference seems lost on her."

"She's too angry to make any sense right now." Elliott said. "We'll just let her calm down. And me. I'm still mad at her, but I think she really thought she was doing the right thing."

"That's a switch." Olivia said looking in surprise at her partner.

"It's something Charlene said. And the fact that Cragen is usually right about people and he's in love with her. I can't see it, but he can. I don't think he had planned on her being this much trouble though."

"She's not a complacent person." Olivia admitted. "This has been a busy day. I need to sit down."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just reaction, I think. Did he say when he'd be here?"

"No. If he wants someone to stay with her overnight, I'll stay. You had yesterday."

"She won't like it."

"I don't really care. She wants to be guarded by an experienced officer, well here I am."

Olivia nodded. She could understand what was going on with her partner and Karen, but it made her uneasy. Elliott could go overboard and so could Karen apparently. This was not going to be an easy situation.

Two hours later, Don came out to the place and entered the kitchen. He looked at Olivia, Elliott and Karen who'd come out of the livingroom to stand in the doorway between the two rooms. "We've determined that the woman who was killed is very likely the one who Katie saw and now she does not need to be under police protection. We'll need you to come down to the precinct house in a couple of days to finish out the paperwork and you'll be fine. Let us know if there's any other problems. Detectives, you are relieved from this post."

The two stood up and left the kitchen out the back door. Charlene read the tension in the air and left with Katie to her own room. Don stared at Karen, and she stared back. There was a huge gulf between them and neither knew how to bridge it. Finally Don put the brown paper sack on the table. "It's up to you." He said and turned walking out of the house.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Captain Heart Ch 16**

Three interminable days passed without a single communication passing between the Special Victims Unit and Karens place going either way. Don chose to spend his is nearly solitary confinement, being surly with nearly everyone and even short with the Chief of D's.

Karen busied herself with such a flurry of activity that the kids soon avoided her and left her strictly alone. She was apt to put them to work. Or she went for rides on her horses or walks by herself. Neither place was happy.

Then the phone call. "Special Victims, Stabler."

"It's Karen Wesson, Detective. When you have time, I'd like to see you."

"Has something happened? Are you and Katie okay?" he asked intensely. Olivia looked up from her desk across from him.

"We're fine. I would like to have a face to face meeting with you."

Elliott wasn't sure that was a good idea. Their last conversation hadn't been the most polite, nor was he felling particularly generous to the woman who was making his captain sweat and mope about so much. "It's busy here right now." He said carefully.

There was a long, uncomfortable pause on the other end. "Please." She said softly.

Oh, that was it. He was lost. The heartfelt request was more than he could deny. He had a few things to say to this woman and he didn't want Cragen around to hear them. If she was playing games, he intended to call her on them. "I'll come out tonight after work."

"I'll be expecting you. Thank you, I know I don't deserve this."

"See you then." He hung up.

"What's up?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know. She wants a face to face. I'm going out after work."

"I'll go with you if you want." Olivia told him.

"No, I'll be fine. I want to know what the hell is going on and I'm going to tell her to keep her games to herself. He doesn't deserve to be tortured like this."

"I think you should stay out of it." Olivia said, wisely.

"Hey, she called me." Elliott said. "I'm going." He added for finality.

He pulled into her place and took a parking space, getting out. He didn't know how he felt being here, but he was ready for anything. The kids were playing in the backyard and he didn't need to open the door. Charlene opened it for him, smiling at him. "Thanks for coming." She said.

"I don't have much time." He said gruffly.

"That's okay. It will be worth it."

She led the way into the kitchen. Karen was sitting at the table with piles of paperwork all around her and a calculator in front of her. She looked weary and frustrated. She set her pen down and smiled tentatively at him. "Hello."

"It looks like you're busy."

"Paperwork never ends. I'm sure you know the drill."

He snorted. "All too well. You wanted to see me?"

"Before you start, can I get either of you anything?" Charlene asked.

"I could use some cold soda if you don't mind. I need caffeine." Karen laughed. "Elliott?"

"Nothing for me thanks."

Charlene put the bottle on the table next to Karen and left the room. Karen opened it and chugged on it. She set it down and closed it up. "I won't keep you. I know you're a busy man and I also know you're still angry with me. I owe you a huge apology. I should not have taken my anger and fear out on you, and I behaved abominably. You have no reason to be happy with me or think very highly of me. I don't care much for the way I behaved either."

"Then why did you?" If she wanted to be blunt, so could he.

"I was scared. I was scared for Katie, scared for me and frankly just plain scared for everyone. You take fear in stride, this kind of fear, nearly every day. I didn't know that officer that was at Dons place and I didn't trust her to keep us safe. So I ran. I don't have a lot of experience with people I can trust. Nearly everyone I ever trusted let me down. I just expect it now."

"We aren't that way."

"Maybe, maybe not. I can't say. I know that every time I've entrusted someone with something it gets spread throughout the network. Secrets, money, my feelings and my heart. I can't help myself and when they came after Katie I panicked. I'm basically a coward. That's called survival. Those kids out there I hope to God never have to learn that skill. But afterward when I was a bitch to you and everyone else, that was completely unforgivable. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt, if not for your sake alone but because Don trusts you."

"You were afraid. I understand that. I'm sorry if I was short with you. I have anger management issues myself." He admitted.

"If I promise to give you a _little_ more credence next time, can we go on from here? Learn from my mistakes?"

"Only a little more?" he grinned at her.

"Don't push your luck, Stabler." Karen grinned. "Just a tad more than a little. Happy now?"

"If that's all I can get." He grinned. "So what about the Captain?"

Karens face fell and his detective skills told him she was uncertain about her welcome in that respect. Her face cleared and she lifted her gaze to meet his head on. "I couldn't even begin to talk to him until you and I cleared the air. Now I can see if he even wants to be around me. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't." She shrugged.

"I think you're selling both of yourselves short. Talk to him. Tell him what you told me. He says he's no saint himself. I can't tell you what to do, Karen, hell I have enough to deal with in my own life. But I do know that he's been miserable to live with and I think the only one who can put the smile back on his face is you. Don't let this chance slip away. Don't throw it away."

"Katie and the other kids have been missing him." She said playing with her soda can.

"Karen, listen to me. He loves Katie that's true, but fuck Katie. It's you he wants. She's a great little girl, but he wants you. Don't let pride get in your way. If you want him, go after him. And don't let him tell you no."

"I miss him. I miss being around him and knowing he'll be coming out here. I miss his voice, just looking at him, seeing him tease Katie and even Barry and Laslo have warmed up to him."

"Tell him, Karen. Look, we still have to get the final paperwork done on Katies statement. Come in tomorrow, bring her with you. I'll make sure the Captain is there. Can you come about 2:00?"

"Sure."

"It's a plan then. I have to get back."

"Okay. I'll walk you to the door."

Karen spun on her chair and bent down out of sight. She stood up with a pair of crutches. She awkwardly put them under her arms and hobbled around the table. She moved awkwardly around the table. "What happened to your foot?" Elliott asked.

Karen looked down at the offending foot. "I told the kids I got mad and kicked something. I tried to use it as an object lesson. The fact of the matter is one of the horses picked up on my bad attitude and tromped on my foot. It's really broken, as soon as some of the swelling goes down, I'll need to have surgery on it. I don't want them to be afraid of the horses."

"Is that the reason you haven't come to the squad room?"

"One of them. Shame was another. And I'm afraid he won't want to see me again I messed up so bad."

"He'll want to see you again." Elliott assured her.

He was quite a bit taller than she was, more so because of her crutches. Funny, he'd never noticed how small physically she was. Her personality had always made him feel like she was bigger than she was.

She walked him out to his car, even though he said she didn't need to. She was slow and unsteady but determined. He backed out and waved to her as he left. He picked up his cell phone and dialed. "Hi, it's me. I need to come by tonight. I just….I need to see you tonight. Okay, I'll see you soon."

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**Captain Heart Ch 17**

Don walked into the squad room the next morning and sensed something was amiss. It wasn't anything he could put his finger on. Everyone was busy working, doing their job. The feel was off. It wasn't anything he could put his finger on. The parade began at 1:30. Elliott came in to discuss the case he and Olivia were working on. Don agreed with what he had to say and sent him back out. Then Fin came in complaining about Munch. Not anything serious, more of a chat with a friend type of thing. Olivia was next with a question about procedures that took up nearly 15 minutes. He was beginning to smell a rat and then Munch came in with a ridiculous question about which handgun should be used in which holster, when the mystery was solved.

Karen and Katie appeared at the Squad room door. Katie was walking, but Karen was on crutches wearing a light blue V neck sweater that hugged her firmly, a gold chain that hung around her neck and a denim skirt. Her one cowboy boot looked out of place next to the brace on her left leg. She paused inside the door and leaned against the frame. Her gaze went to his office and he forgot how to breath for a minute. She stared at him and he at her and his phone rang.

"Cragen." He picked it up automatically.

It was the chief of D's. Duty made him tear his gaze away from her. He had to turn his back so he could concentrate. That was what she saw. Olivia was close enough to hear Cragen and far enough away to see the shattered look on Karens face. She wanted to shoot the Chief so much right now. "Why don't you have a seat in my chair and I'll take Katie back to the interview room." Elliott suggested. He hadn't heard the exchange.

"No, I'm fine. I can make it." Karen said.

They made their way to the room and closed the door. "Of all the luck." Fin said. "Damn fate. I should go yank that phone out of the wall." He said angrily. He'd been in on it too.

The Chief of D's had had a long afternoon and he was bound and determined that the shit ran down hill. He dropped several smoking guns in Cragens lap and hung up more than an hour later satisfied that he'd made some of his own load lighter. By this time Don had to use the bathroom so bad, and he hadn't had a chance to see Katie or Karen either.

He hurried to the bathroom, straightened his tie and went back to his office. He was too late. A brown paper bag sat on his desk. He was crushed. He'd missed his chance and now she was gone, leaving the unmistakable sign she didn't want him back.

He reached out to snatch the offending bag and throw it against the far wall. It popped up off the desk. He opened it and looked inside. Then he began to grin. He hurriedly cleared off his desk, to hell with the Chief of D's, grabbed his coat and locked his office door.

"I'm gone for the day." He grinned at the astonished squad room.

"Where you going?" Munch asked.

"I'm going home." He laughed and ran out the squad room door.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**Captain Heart Ch 18**

He pulled into the house and got out. He was nervous. He wanted to calm down before he went in. No such luck. The door opened and the kids came pouring out. They swarmed around him, happy to see him. Katie was a little standoffish. She was sensitive to his moods and Karens. He crouched down and looked her in the eye. "Hi, Katie. I missed seeing you today."

She signed something. He looked around at the other kids. Laslo translated. "She wants to know why you didn't come say hi."

"I was going to but I got an important phone call."

"She wants to know if it was more important than her and Karen."

The other kids went somber waiting for his answer. It was a critical question. He knew that. "No, sweetheart, not more important than you, but he's my boss and I had to talk to him. I got off as soon as I could, but you were already gone. So I came here to find you."

Katie launched herself into his arms and wrapped herself around him. He laughed and caught her. He should be used to that by now. "Where is Karen?"

"In the house." BB said.

The kids took off and went toward the back yard. Don went to the door. Charlene was in the kitchen. She put a plate of cheese, crackers and fruit on the table. "Hello." she said.

"I came to see Karen."

"I kind of gathered that. She's been expecting you. You know you don't seem the type."

"The type? What type is that?"

"As far as I can tell there are two kinds of men. Ones who care about other people and pay attention to what's going on. And the other one is the 'selfish, me at all costs and to hell with anyone else' kind. You don't seem the second type. Please don't prove me wrong."

She handed him the plate and two sodas and left the room. Don decided this was the time for him to take the bull by the horns. He went into the livingroom where Karen sat with her foot propped up on a cushion, surfing the television channels. "Hi, can I come in?" he asked.

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile. "You're a welcome sight. I want you to stay." Her eyes were hooded and wary. She was as nervous as he was. She took the plate of food from him and he sat down.

"How's the foot?"

"Sore, but I'll live. As the saying goes, it's a long way from my heart. How're you?"

"I'm fine. How did this happen?"

"Officially? I went out to the barn in a temper, kicked something and broke it. Honestly, I did go out to the barn in a towering rage and one of the horses picked up on it, got anxious and in dancing around stepped on my foot and crushed it. As soon as some of the swelling goes down, I'm looking at surgery on it."

"I didn't know it was so bad."

"It's my own fault. I had on the sandals when we got back and I know better. I have no one but myself to blame."

"When did that happen?"

"The day you and they went back to the station. I blame myself for the whole mess."

"Can we talk about that?" he asked knowing he was treading on a tender subject.

"We should." she said in a small voice.

"What happened, Karen? I thought you trusted me."

"I do. I didn't trust the officer that Olivia put in place at your apartment. I don't trust many people and I didn't trust her. That and the fact that those people were coming after us in a place I didn't know, I felt vulnerable and I had to protect Katie. I can do that if I'm free to move around. I wish I felt different. I'm hard wired to mistrust people. It's who I am."

"Why?"

Karen picked up a cracker and some cheese and bit into it, chewing before she answered. "I never learned to trust other people. I can't recall one time that I told someone something, or let them borrow something or told them how I was feeling that they didn't tell someone or keep what I gave them for themselves. I had no close friends growing up and those I thought were my friends weren't. I don't believe most of what people tell me and it's proven true in 99.9 of the time. I don't depend on other people and I don't get hurt that way. Or if I do it's because I choose to believe them."

"Do you count me in on that?"

"No. You've not let me down." the yet was hanging in the air. "And neither has Olivia, or Elliott, but I didn't know that other cop. And I don't know Fin or Munch either, but I'd trust them because you sent them, but that cop no one vouched for."

"She was a NYPD officer." Don told her.

"And? Have you seen television? Do you watch the news? A uniform does not make someone trustworthy. Badges are just jewelry until the person inside them makes them mean something. I can wear a badge that doesn't mean I'm a cop. And it wouldn't mean I'm immune to outside influences."

"True, but I trust Olivia and she put that officer there knowing I do. Therefore you should have trusted her too."

"I beg to differ with you. You are at the base of the pyramid. I trust you as much as I trust anyone, maybe more. Olivia, Elliott, the rest of your squad, I trust less. The next tier much less than that. It rapidly disintegrates from you on up. The third tier that cop, I don't even know her name, was in the I can barely believe she's a cop tier, much less trust her."

"I didn't realize it was such a problem."

"Look around you, Don. I have extra food, extra precautions, extra everything. I believe society is unstable at best and I want the chance to survive if something happens. That includes my life and that of my kids."

"You can't protect yourself from everything. Change is the nature of things."

"I know that, but I can damned well try. I can take some of the sting out of things, ease the impact. If there's a blizzard, I have food for us and the animals, if the electricity goes out, I have generators and candles and heat. At least we won't starve or freeze until the status quo is restored or made permanent. What I have tried to do is protect us."

Don realized this was more of a fear based reaction than he'd supposed. It told him that she wasn't just protective, she was insecure about her ability to deal with life. He decided not to bring that notion into the conversation. "I didn't realize. I should not have taken it for granted that you'd see police as protectors. I know what training they go through and what we're capable of doing. I forget that you don't. It seems like we think so much alike I forget the police are new to you. That officer would have kept you safe. She had been briefed on her duties and she's a good officer."

"If I ever see her again, I'll consider apologizing to her. Is she in trouble because of this?"

"Not much. Especially since I know you and how slippery you are." he teased her gently.

"Not right now." Karen said ruefully indicating her foot.

"Or as long as your kids aren't in danger." Don said. "I'll be more careful of your feelings in the future."

"I'm sorry, Don. I never meant to hurt you." she said with tears shimmering in her eyes.

"And I never meant to hurt you or make you think I don't care. I brought you something." he dug in his pocket and pulled out the folded paper bag, handing it to her. "You left this behind."

"I did it on purpose." she smiled at the bag. "You forgot your clothes that first time and I was so mad that I..."

He nodded. "Made sure I had a chance to back out of coming back."

"But you didn't. You came back anyway."

"I don't want to leave. I wanted something of mine here so you'd know I was coming back, unless you didn't want me to."

"That's why I brought you the empty bag. I wanted you to fill it up with the rest of your things and come back to me."

"When I saw that bag on my desk after you left, I was so mad, I grabbed it and was going to throw it, but it was empty. And I knew..."

"That even after as badly as I'd behaved that I still wanted you to come back? At least to get your clothes?"

"I knew that as badly as we misconnected that I wanted to come back here. That I want to be with you, that I want us to be a family, you, me, Katie, Laslo, BB, Barry and anybody else we get. I want to marry you, Karen."

"I can't." she said miserably looking down into her lap. Her hair falling forward hiding her face.

"You can't?" he demanded startled.

"Nope." She peaked at him from under her hair. The little vixen was smiling.

"What do you mean you can't?" he demanded in mock anger.

She gestured to her foot. "No bride in her right mind would walk down the aisle with this on her foot. You'll just have to wait until it heals." she smirked at him.

He leaned ominously toward her and growled. "Does this mean you'll marry me?"

"Yes." she said meekly.

"Good, because I intend to kiss my fiance." he said and covered her mouth with his. Her arms went around his neck and she pulled him closer to her.

He wasn't about to let her get away this time. He kissed her vigorously with the passion he'd been trying to keep under control. Karen groaned against his mouth and ran her hands over his chest and shoulders under his jacket, at least as much as she could around the jacket and holster.

Dan sat back and looked at her. "You are one hot woman." he panted. "I suppose you expect me to wait until after the wedding for everything." he commented.

"Are you serious? I'm injured, I'm not dead. Come here, you're too far away."

He grinned and obliged her. They necked on the couch until Don thought he was going to explode. "Wait, slow down. This is great, but you can't expect me to just go home tonight and...Well, I won't fit inside the car this way."

"Oh, my Don. My poor, wonderful, handsome, sexy, clueless darling Don."

He elevated his eyebrows severely at the compliments and they pegged when she said clueless. "Am I missing something?"

"You most certainly are. You see, elevation is good for broken limbs. And if you remember correctly I said I was going to wait for the wedding until my foot heals. I never said I was putting the honeymoon on hold. Elevation is elevation, Darling."

"Ele..." the whole of what she said sunk in and he grinned at her. "Are you saying?"

"If you think we could be careful of this, I think I'd very much like to practice being married to you. Unless you'd rather wait six or eight weeks, that is."

Don grabbed her by the shoulders and moved against her. "Let's go into your room." he said huskily.

"Can you help me there? I'm a bit banged up."

He grinned and scooped her up in his arms. "You're wish is my command."

She laughed and kissed his cheek. He strode proudly to her room.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

**Captain Heart Ch 19**

Don set Karen down in the living room part of her quarters. She was unstable on one foot so she kept ahold of him. He touched her face. "I didn't come here for this, you know." he said breathlessly.

"I know. You don't have to stay if you don't want to." she said.

"Don't start that again. I'm not leaving. There's no way I'm leaving you so stop trying to push me away."

"I'm not. I want to pull you closer. I just don't want you to be here if you don't want to be here. I don't want to be a pity fuck."

"In the first place, you'll never be that. I don't want that either. You have the same option. Just say the word and I'm out of here."

"Mmmm, mmm. That's not something I'll ever say. I want to be with you. I want to be with you all night every night. That's what marriage means to me. Don, I love you."

"I love you too, Karen. When you called me and had to go because of something that was going on with the kids, do you remember that?"

"I do."

"You said you loved me then. Did you mean to say it then?"

"I'm not sure. I was feeling it, I had been for awhile, but I was afraid to tell you. I was afraid I'd push you away."

"It might have. I still have trouble believing that you are real. I thought I'd never find another love like this. I am so flawed that I can't believe that you love me. I feel guilty being this happy."

"And you always will. Don, it's okay to feel guilty. It's also okay that you still love Marge, I want you to. Remember what she meant to you and what she still does. Don't be afraid to love her forever. I don't feel threatened by her and I'm certainly not jealous of her. I'm hoping that in some way she might be glad that you aren't alone anymore. Don't you think it's time for you to be happy? Would she want to you be happy?"

"She would and I am happy with you."

"Good. So what are you waiting for?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm waiting for those lucious lips of yours or I need to sit down. My leg is getting tired."

Don grinned at her, scooped her up in his arms and whirled around to sit on the couch with her in his lap. "Is that better?" he asked grinning.

"Yes, but..."

"Shhhh. I can't kiss you if you're talking." he said and did just that.

Karen giggled and snuggled into his arms, kissing him back. Don was in no hurry. He just enjoyed the feel of her in his arms and all the touching he wanted. There was no one to tell him no, no distractions and a woman with all the fire he could ask for in his arms. Karen ran her hands over his body, snuggling under his jacket and opening her mouth so he could move into her mouth. He laid her back on the sofa and rolled so he was half over her and half under her legs, being careful of her leg.

Karen worked the tail of his dress shirt out of his pants and put her hands under it and his undershirt to run her hands over his bare skin. She could only do so much, but she rubbed him and pulled him firmly against her, seeking closer contact with him. She squirmed. "Don. Don, your gun is heavy, too. But it's cold and hard."

He sat up. "I'm sorry. I should have thought. All I could think of was how much I wanted to be here with you. Give me a minute and I'll..."

"It's okay, Don. Help me up and let's go in the bedroom. I have a safe place you can put your, uh,...what do you call it?"

"Equipment."

"Equipment. If you promise not to say anything about what else is in there."

"What's in there? Something illegal?" he asked uneasily.

"Don, cop at the house. Man at home. No, not illegal, never that. Embarrassing for me, okay?"

Don grinned. "Am I about to find out one of your best kept secrets?"

"Yes, but not if you don't behave yourself." she scolded. He gave her an anticipatory grin and helped her up. He scooped her up in his arms. "You're going to hurt something if you keep that up." she said mildly.

"I'll carry you anywhere you want to go for as long as you want me to."

"You're going to be a real strong man, Don. Just set me on the bed."

He did and she scooted around to the table next to the bed. He moved over to see what was in the drawer that was so embarrassing for her and laughed. "This is your embarrassing secret?"

"Yes." she said indignantly and blushed bright red.

He leaned into her and kissed her exposed neck. "I love you. You are the only one to be embarrassed about that."

"It's mood altering drugs." Karen said indignantly. "There, there's room for your equipment for now. We'll get you your own drawer later."

Still grinning Don took off his gun, check that the safety was on and put it and his badge in the drawer. He had to admit it looked really out of place in the drawer. He reached over to close the drawer and taking one last look at his gun and badge resting on a bed of, a whole drawer full of _chocolate_One of his fiance's most embarrassing secrets was a drawer full of chocolate candy. He couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"It's not that funny." she said still blushing.

"Yes, it is." he said. He had to stop his laughing so he didn't hurt her feelings.

"Okay, so it's a little funny. When the kids act up or it's been a stressful day, I need something to relax me. They say chocolate is supposed to make you feel better."

"On the other hand they also say that sex makes you feel good, too." he grinned.

"I think we should try that theory out, don't you? You know, give it a good thorough testing." Karen grinned.

"You want to test the chocolate versus sex theory out? They have laboratory tests for that." he teased.

"I never believe everything I see and only half of what I hear, etc, etc. I'm a sceptic. I want to find out for myself. Are you ready to do some research with me?"

"I've heard research can be fun."

"I warn you, it takes alot of evidence to prove the point." she smiled coyly at him.

"I'm all for research." He said sitting next to her.

"Don, you're talking too much. Be a man of action."

Don pulled his jacket and his holster. He knelt with one knee on the bed next to her. "I want you so much. I'm afraid to touch you."

"Close your eyes." she said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sit down here and close your eyes."

He sat down and did as she suggested. He felt the bed move and soft warm lips touch his lips then work their way around his chin to his neck and she nuzzled the under side of his chin. "Is it coming back to you?" she asked teasingly.

"It's starting to." he said murmured, enjoying the feel of her. She moved up his neck and blew softly in his ear. He melted under her ministrations, wrapping his arms around her and fell back taking her with him. She was laying along him and he used his tongue to find his way into her mouth and make love to her with it.

Her body pressing against his in the most intimate manner made him hard and aching. She straddled him and rubbed against him. He wished he could make the clothes melt away. Her eyes were heavily lidded and her lips were red from being kissed. "Karen, wait. I'm going to need to..." he said.

Karen got off, selfconsciously. "I'm sorry I..."

Don sat up and kissed her quiet. "I want you to know what it is you're getting yourself into." he said.

"Excuse me? Do you have a furry tail?" she asked.

"Not exactly. I-I have some scars. I don't want to scare you so I want you to see them. I'm not exactly a young man."

"I don't care about your scars, Don. I have some too. And I'm not a young woman. Are you...this is important to you. Okay, I'm listening."

Don got up and reached for the buttons on his shirt. She stood up and took his hands in hers. "Can I?"

"Yes." he said in a strangled voice. She frowned slightly in concentration and undid the buttons. Her hands went out to his chest stroking it through the undershirt. He nearly groaned. He caught her hands. "I have to be able to do this now." he said.

"Go ahead."

He reached down and pulled off his undershirt. He had some serious scars on his chest and abdomen. Karen touched them with a warm, gentle hand and leaned over to kiss this where her hand was. She touched them and ran her hands over his bare skin then met his gaze. "Are there more?"

"A few on my back. I didn't want to scare you..."

"Nothing about you scares me, my Don. Not your job, not your scars and certainly not your heart." She struggled to her good foot and reached for the hem of her shirt.

"Let me." he asked.

She nodded and he reached for the hem of it. He slowly lifted it off over her head. Her stomach came into view and her lace bra and then her shoulders. She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eye. "Mine are lower." She undid her skirt and let it drop to the floor. She had lacings on her abdomen under her panties that were old scars. His eyes went to that area. She took his hand and placed it on the scars. "It doesn't bother me."

"What happened?"

"When I was a teenager I fell for an older man. I didn't tell anyone and then I found out I was pregnant. I was six months along when he found out and he attacked me, tried to kill me, tried to take the baby out of me. He nearly killed me, he did kill my baby and completely destroyed my chances of having kids of my own."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. But I'm over it."

"What happened to him?"

"He's dead. He was raped and beaten while he was in prison. No great loss. I don't want to talk about him. Oh, that feels good."

Don left his hand on her lower abdomen and she hummed for him. He moved his fingers ever so gently and she nearly collapsed putting her arms around his neck, pulling him down so she could kiss him again. He lifted her against him while she was running her hands over him. "Not fair. You have more clothes on than me." she said smiling against his lips.

"I'm hoping you can help me with that." he replied setting her down again.

She smiled and reached for the waistband of his pants. He inhaled when her fingers touched his stomach. She was caressing him at the same time she was working on his clothes. He tried to keep breathing, but it wasn't easy. Only biology and the need for air kept him upright. She opened his pants and he was a touch shy about the amount of need his body was showing.

"It's been awhile." he said trying to explain.

Karen smiled up at him. "And here I thought that it was all for me."

"Oh, it is. It's all for you. This is what you do to me."

"My poor darling Don. I can see I have my work cut out for me." she put her hand on his shaft and he jerked reflexively.

"Karen!" he warned.

She pulled his shorts down in a swift movement that surprised him. She put her hands on his hips and pulled him forward the half step that she couldn't do herself. "I want you, Don. I want you inside me. Help me with mine?"

He reached behind her and undid her bra. It was a real turn on to remove the red garment and watch her breasts spring free of them. He touched them wonderingly, cupping their fullness and stroking the tips with his thumbs. She moaned and pushed urgently against him. "Sweetheart." she told him in a gravelly voice.

He slid his hands down her body again inside the red lace underwear sliding it down her body until she was completely free of clothes, except where they pooled at her feet. Naked at last. He kissed her again, supporting her trembling body against his own and laid her back across the bed. He joined her in an instant, not wanting to break contact with her.

She rolled into him, kissing him and running her hands over his torso, touching, soothing, caressing him. He didn't know how much more he could take before he had to be inside her. She resolved that issue by rolling over on her back and urging him to follow. He half sat up and discovered a problem. She still wore the underwear that hadn't come off her injured foot.

He reached down and pulled them off her leg and kissed her deliberately landing a kiss on her soft curls there. She hissed and jerked spasmodically. "Don!" she said.

He smiled and moved back up to her lips. She arched up when he put his hand down where his mouth had been moments ago. "Too much." she said pulling his hand up. "I want to enjoy you."

"Slide up, love. I'm a little longer than you are."

She smiled and cupped him. "A lot longer." she laughed. "But I like longer."

He growled at her and pounced into her neck. She laughed and wrapped her arms around him while he rolled her over and up farther onto the bed. He rolled over onto her back and entered her with a single, slow, deep thrust. "Oh, yeah!" he said.

"Don. That's good." she said breathlessly.

"You are so hot." he said, pulling out and surging in again. "I want you so much."

"I'm yours. I need you, I want you."

Don kissed her as he began to move inside her, more vigorously, harder, faster. All he could think about was making her his, giving her all his attention and making sure she knew exactly how exciting he found her. Oh to hell with that. He wanted to show her that he was a man who wanted his woman, that he could make her happy, that he could satisfy her. And he wanted that right now to the exclusion of everything else. He rose up to his knees and leaned back. Holding onto her hips he began to thrust into her earnestly, making sure he didn't hurt her foot.

She began to moan and thrust back, meeting him with equal force. The rhythm intensified and he could feel the beginnings of a powerful orgasm building. An she was right there with him. He gave an extra twist with his hips and felt her respond. No words were necessary now. It was all feelings, all emotion, all love. All need.

Don closed his eyes halfway and gave himself over the the sheer joy of being inside her, of making love to her, of emptying himself into her while she arched and spasmed around him. "Oh, yes!" she called out.

"Oh, Karen!" he said as he came, thrusting heavily, deeply into her and poured himself into her welcoming depths. Her spasms made his coming more intense than he'd felt in a long, long time.

When he was done he lay on her, careful not to crush her, but unwilling to withdraw from her depths. She held onto him, kissing his ear, his neck and his shoulder repeatedly. "I love you." she said heatedly.

"I love you too." he said, smiling at her. He moved off her but curled her close to him. "You sure can make me feel like a teenager." he told her with a satisfied smile.

"Oh, good. Teen agers have alot of stamina." she teased kissing his chest and his chin.

He kissed her on the mouth. "I said feel like one, not be one."

"Oh, darn. Well, we'll have to work on that then." she laughed.

"And what about you?"

"I'm just a horny woman. And we'll have to work on that too."

"I think I can manage that." he said with a satisfied sigh. He was content to be close to her, touch her.

"We sure took long enough to get this far, didn't we?" she asked quietly.

"This was not somthing to rush into, but I'm not sorry. Are you?"

"Not in a million years. My only regret is that we didn't do this sooner."

"We could always make up for lost time." he grinned.

"I'm ready when you are."

"Uh, my love, we'll need to proceed in haste slowly. But don't worry, we'll get there." he laughed.

"Okay, but I'll hold you to that."

"And I'll be holding you close to me." he told her. "Just rest, beautiful. You wore me out." she opened her mouth to argue. He quickly kissed her. "Shhh."

She sighed and snuggled closer to him. He pulled at the blanket and released it enough to cover her. She reached up and pulled a pillow down for his head. Using his arm for a pillow, she curled up next to him and started to doze off. He closed his eyes too and they went to sleep.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

**Captain Heart Ch 20**

Twitching woke Don up. And grunting, rustling around and moaning." Karen was still asleep but she was frowning and uncomfortable. Her pain medicine must be wearing off. He didn't know when she'd taken it last, but they'd been together for at least three hours and she hadn't taken it since he'd been there. He eased himself up, got some clothes on and went to find her pain medicine.

"Don?" she called.

"Right here, love." He held up her medicine. "I thought your foot might be hurting."

"How did you know?" she asked sitting up, hissing in pain when it jarred her foot.

"You were twitching in your sleep and I've had some experience with pain medicine." He handed her the bottle, holding a glass of water for her until she was ready for it.

"Thank you. How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes." He reached down and picked up her shirt for her.

She put it on. "You're a good man, Don Cragen." her mouth was pinched and she was frowning in pain.

"It's pretty painful, huh?"

"A bit. I wish I could put ice on it or something, but they said no. I'll be okay as soon as those pills kick in." She hissed as one particularly strong wave of pain came up.

"Try to relax. Don't fight the pain and don't think about it." he advised.

"I'm trying, but damn it's hard."

"Tell you what? Turn around and scoot toward the headboard."

"Scoot? Are you serious? I don't want to move."

"I'll help you. Just go easy, I have your leg." He held her leg elevated and as still as possible while she tried to move gently. "Stop right there." he advised. Her startled gaze met his and he smiled at her. "Trust me." he urged.

He opened her "secret" drawer and scooped up a handful of chocolate and dropped them in her lap. "Don, I don't eat that much at one time." she protested.

"You aren't going to share with me?"

"Oh, absolutely."

He climbed on the bed very carefully and gently stepped behind her to sit against the headboard behind her. "Lean on me, Karen. I'm here for you." he told her softly.

She leaned back against him, carefully at first then with more confidence. He slid his arms around her and guided her head to his shoulder. "This feels good." she said, smiling and relaxing.

"Yes, it does. I love you. Are you okay?"

"Now I am. I love you, too. So what kind of chocolate would you like?"

"Anything you want is fine with me."

"You know this is just about perfect. I have chocolate and the best man I could ever possibly have. There's only one thing that would make this more perfect."

Don reached down and kissed her. "Just ask and it's yours."

"I would like it to be permanent. I feel bad that you have to go home later. Your apartment is so plain and bare. It's not the real you. Not the Don I know."

"I don't spend alot of time there. I'm mostly at work." he admitted.

She opened a small candy bar and offered it to him. He took a bite, making sure he nibbled her fingers at the same time. She giggled. He grinned for her. She ate the other half. "I don't want to sound forward, but have you considered moving out here with me, permanently?

"I thought of it, but I don't want you to think I'm trying to horn in on your space." he admitted.

"I've thought about it. Of course, I'm being selfish. I want you to be able to be here every night, but that's a long drive for you. That's not right."

"I'm going to keep my apartment in town, just in case I have to stay there for a case. A lot of cops do it if they live a good distance from the house."

"Really? I'd never heard that. I suppose it makes sense. Do some of them get shared apartments? So they can split the rent? That makes more sense to me."

"Except if it's your primary home. Could you share this place with another family?"

"Good point. I just want you to be happy. It bothers me that you'd be in that place all alone. I want to be the one to take care of you, make you laugh and make you explode."

"You, my darling, make me happy." he kissed her hair. "I'd like to move in here, but how will you explain it to the kids?"

"I'm going to tell them the truth. That you and I want to be a family, that we're going to be married and you're going to be living here as part of the family. Most of them have seen kids come and go, but not adults. I'm not sure how much they'll ask but we're honest here, always. Katie will be happy as a clam, the older ones might ask for more details, but we can do that when Katie isn't around. I'm speaking for you. It's a bad habit of mine."

"I'll let you know if there's a problem with that. Can I bring up a subject that we need to discuss?"

"No, I won't get you a pony for Christmas." she said, with an uneasy smile.

"Darn, I always wanted one of those." he teased her back. "I want to talk to you about the wedding."

"The wedding?" she looked up at him.

"Yes. I think if you want to wear white you should."

"White? I...I hadn't even thought of any of that. That wouldn't bother you? I'm not exactly..."

"I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world and you would look absolutely gorgeous in a white gown. Karen, listen to me, I believe is some things, fidelity, love, family and country, but to me a white dress is just a white dress. Just like you said about the badge, it's not the badge or the dress that makes the person, it's the person inside it. I want you to take your time while your foot heals to plan your ideal wedding. It's our day, so make it as special as you want. I'll agree to anything you want as long as you don't expect me to wear a wedding dress, too."

"Darn and I had dreams of you in an nice mini skirt and a tank top."

"Keep dreaming." he chuckled.

"How about you in nothing on whatsoever, waiting for me at the end of the aisle?"

"How about I wait for you after the ceremony right here in our bedroom with nothing on? Or you can help me take it off?"

"You're going to get me all hot and bothered again." Karen smiled.

"Good. I'm ready for you to be hot and bothered. How's your foot feel?"

"What foot?"

He laughed and began to kiss her again. The rolled over in a bed full of chocolate bars and Dan made her hum again. She made him want to sing.

The sounds of the rest of the family getting back came after they were finished and resting. "I think I'd like to share our happy news with the rest if you don't mind." Karen said shyly touching his bare chest.

"I think I'd like that. I want to tell them that you're going to be a permanent part of my life."

"And you will be in theirs. Are you going to be okay with that? With them calling you Don or in Katies case Dad?"

Don smiled a huge smile. "I never thought I'd hear those words. Dad. I think I'd like that." he said.

The two grownups got dressed and went out to where the rest of them were having a lively discussion about the movie they'd seen. Karen smiled at them and they all stopped to look when Don came out of her quarters with her. "Guys, we want you to know that Don and I are getting married. He's going to be living here most nights and we're very happy together. We wanted you to be the first to know." Karen said.

Katie beamed immediately and ran to Don who picked her up. She signed something to him. Karen translated. "She wants to know if you're going to be her Daddy now."

"I guess I am." he said.

"She says she has to teach you to talk to her now." Karen laughed.

"Well, it's about time." Laslo said, semi grumpily. "You two have been dancing around it long enough."

Charlene was ecstatic. She hugged Karen and shyly hugged Don. BB's eyes were huge and she said "Congratulations."

"Would you be in the wedding, BB?" Karen asked.

"Sure, I guess."

Katie was signing to Don and he didn't need to be a detective to know the question. "Yes, Katie, everyone will be in it." Don said.

"So we're going to be one big family?" Charlene said.

"So we are. If you're staying."

"I'll be here. I was wondering if you'd be amenable to my checking into putting a trailer out behind the house here and maybe Chuck and I could live here too?"

"What does Chuck say about that?" Don asked.

"He says that way we'd have our own place and I could still work here. He said he'd help around here if you need him to." Charlene put forth.

"We'll look into it. I think it's a good idea. It'll be very interesting." Karen said.

"Karen, you talked about that picnic. I was thinking I'd like to invite my squad and their families out here and you and I could make our announcement then. What do you think?"

"I think it's going to be one hell of a year. Invite them, let's have a party."

**TBC So now we turn our attention to a huge wedding in Keeping Katie.**


End file.
